- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I honestly have no idea where to begin
As of this moment I am devastated by a recent development in my family; For the past 22 years, my family and I have dealt with domestic violence- my father’s drinking, my sister’s downward spiral. All of which I thought was finally healing, finally being put to bed
As I have found out today, people cant change what they never realized was wrong in the first place
I found out today that my father beat my mother senseless on their trip back to the home country; Im shocked, disgusted and devastated with a man I had honestly believed had changed for the better. For the last 5 years, since my middle sister married, I honestly believed he had a) stopped believing the women in his life were disposable and b) learned that hitting anyone is wrong. I was so mistaken
I spoke to him today about it and all he could say to me, without flinching is “She didnt respect my authority as a man, so I beat her.”
I told him if I ever heard so much as a meep from my mother of his continued mistreatment that our relationship was over, and that I would make sure he was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law; his rebuttal? He couldnt care less, its all her fault she talked back to him.
I have no idea how to deal with this; because of my own personal experience in a relationship with domestic abuse, I feel this development is a further betrayal. I trusted my father, my mother trusted my father, and here he is again, no different than he was when he was drinking. And now he’s even sober.
I have spoken to my SO- he is just as shocked too. I have no idea what future I have now with my father, and due to cultural differences, my mother is insisting on continuing her silence and acting as if it is nothing important. This family has come so far from our past, I cant express the anger I feel towards my father for breaking that trust and progress with his own selfishness.
I dunno bees; I know this is heavy, I know its a hard situation; if anyone has any advice, please PM me or just say it like it is here. I can take brutal honesty, in fact I think I need it.
Im just trying to keep positive- I have a wonderful though misguided mother, a sister and BIL who will be there for me no matter what, and an SO who couldnt be more the opposite of my father. But even all that doesnt help…
Thanks for listening