- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Bit of a long story here from a long-time lurking waiter…
It’s out 4.5 year dating anniversary in a couple of weeks. Last night/this morning I completely lost all the amazing control I’ve had in ‘keeping my mouth shut’ about getting engaged!
SO is studying, he wanted to get a job at the end of his degree last year, but the market is so bad he didn’t, so now he’s doing honours (grad school in the usa?). I’m working full time and we’ve saved a lot of money as we want to buy a house when we get married, rather than rent.
But he point-blank refuses to propose while he hasn’t got a job. It’s a noble “I want to be able to look after you” thing. He said if our roles were reversed, and he had the job and all the money, he would have proposed a while ago.
It all came apart when he said he wanted to tack a holiday onto a trip he is going on for honours. (The money!!! How can he whinge about not having money money and then go on an overseas holiday without me?!)
I ended up bawling my eyes out all last night and this morning because all his promises to me have come to nothing. He promised we’d be married by the end of 2012, it looks like we won’t even be engaged.
He has apologised and cried and said he is sorry for the broken promises, he said he would do it today if he could but he just can’t bring himself to do it when he knows he can’t support us.
This morning he drove me home and I told him in the car I would not wait past our 5 year anniversary (November 2012). He said ok… I said “I mean it”. He told me it could be siz weeks, it could be siz months.. it depends entirely on him finding a full time job.
So all in all I’m feeling very sorry for myself… but I’m also wondering how this bodes for our lives – I’m struggling with the fact that I have absolutely no input on this, nothing I say has any consequence and he’s totally unwilling to compromise with me.
Has anyone else been through this? I’m also terrified by the time the proposal comes around I’ll be like… finally. And not be excited 🙁 How do you survive a long wait and still be excited? Ugh 🙁
any help bees?