- Mrs. DG
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2009
Photo teaser: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/dg-photo-teasers
The housemate (we’ll call her a Saint at this point) took my note saying do not disturb me very seriously. Apparently she fended off several calls wondering where I was early in morning. She even made sure that Fiance didn’t wake me up when he dropped by! I woke up at about 9:30 and felt like I never wanted to get out of bed and face the world. I was still totally in a funk and knew I needed to get out of it. The thing is, I didn’t *feel* like getting out of the funk. I was still frustrated and angry and upset… but I knew that if anything was going to change, I’d have to fake it until I really did feel better. Sometimes it is harder to let go of the bad stuff to make room for new and better stuff, and it is easier to hold on to the pain. If we were going to have a great wedding, this could not be one of those time!
So I dragged my butt out of bed and called fiance. He had been worried sick about me, and slept horribly knowing that I was in transit all night. We discussed the marriage license that we needed to get that day. I had done all the research about cost, what to bring and where to obtain it. The only hitch? Due to the economy, the local licensing office had shut down. It seemed that the nearest office was an hour and a half away and only available by appointment! There were no appointments available for that day. 🙁
Fiance came over and we tried to brainstorm. I looked him in the eye and asked, “Is somebody trying to tell us not to get married?” Seriously, so far it had been roadblock after roadblock. He laughed about it, but I wasn’t quite there yet. Thinking outside the box, we started looking at municipalities outside the Tahoe area to obtain a license. Finally, here came our first ray of sunshine. There was a no-appointment necessary place at the Nevada County office, which was actually closer than the other one. Score one for the DGs!
It was already hotter than blazes at about 10 am, and I was thinking “Uh oh, is it going to be this hot on wedding day? I might not do so well in this kind of heat!”
We got to the office, handed in our paperwork and felt a little triumphant for a minute. I should never feel triumphant… because that’s when stuff inevitably goes down.
The county clerk informed me that my driver’s license had just expired. (I had not received a notice, nor was I aware that this was the case prior to leaving Seattle). Not only was I not sure that she would issue our license, but we were far from home and planning to drive to our honeymoon. The implications were not good!
Luckily, I had my passport with me and my old California Driver’s license. The kind-hearted official decided not to make a big deal about the expired license. I could have just hugged her! (As for dealing with our road-trip honeymoon, we’d cross that bridge later).
Then, the county clerk told us about the Name Equality Act in California. To avoid having to file a court order to change names, we were going to have to decide right then and there what we wanted to do with our names. Now, we had talked about this extensively (because I wanted to keep my last name), but we also decided that we wouldn’t need to officially decide until after we were married. All of a sudden we went from having all the time in the world to having about 3 minutes to decide what we wanted to do. Yipes!
Due to professional issues, I was pretty committed to keeping my last name. But, both of us felt that we wanted to do something to acknowledge our new partnership. We had discussed taking his adorable last name as a middle name…. but that didn’t really solve the problem, since it didn’t reflect any change in his status. We asked the clerk, “Can we do anything we want?” She affirmed this and our eyes lit up. I could take his name as a middle name and he could take my name as a second middle name! It felt egalitarian and transformational at the same time. It was an option we could both live with ☺
License in hand, we headed to the wedding site for the first time. At last, I felt like the fates couldn’t stop this marriage from happening. Now, about those chalkboards…
The Nevada County office has this huge log slice with various event dates labeled on the tree rings.