(Closed) DH always tease me about my body&weight. Am I overreacting?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If he’s so interested in these other women because of how thin they are, tell him that he’s welcome to try his luck with them when he’s single. And then dump his sorry ass. 

Post # 3
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Fuck him! Fuck him, sister. That guy needs to shut his mouth and appreciate what he has got and if he is not doing that and he is making you doubt yourself and feel unntractive then fuck him. I have no respect for men who do that to women. Ultimately it will drive you to food. It will ruin your relationship with food. He will give you a complex. He will make you feel watched every time you eat and guilty everytime you eat something fun like cake. You will learn to feel ugly and jealous. You will start to wonder whether he will leave you one day for a ‘perfect’ woman. He is planting a bad seed and he is being beyond offensive. I have no kind words for your husband. Fuck him. 

Post # 4
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

run. he sounds like a total asshole. he KNOWS this hurts your feelings, and continues to do it. beyond that – why is he so obsessed with women’s weight? does he not think women have anything else to offer? why is he focusing on the weight of random women, women at work etc and then telling you about it? it seems like his attitude is that women’s looks are the most important thing and that he’s somehow owed a woman who looks a certain way. he’s being really rude and disrespectful and i can’t imagine his behaviour will change. 

besides, at 5 foot 2 and 123 pounds you are nowhere near needing a talking to about your weight. 

Post # 5
9891 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

FutureMrsGeek:  Amen.  Fuck him!  What an ass.

 fuzzybunny:  HUGS!  You don’t deserve to be treated that way!  You’re a perfect, healthy weight for your height.  He’s a jerk and completely wrong to ever make you feel bad about yourself in any way.  I’m sure he is just so perfect, hmmm? 

Post # 5
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

He sounds awful.

No, you are not overreacting.  You are married to an emotionally abusive man.  

Post # 7
8613 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry, he sounds like a superficial jerk. I can’t even imagine what he’ll say if you ever get pregnant…

Post # 8
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You are no where near being heavy or overweight at 5’2″ 123lbs. I cannot believe he is making you feel bad about your slim and very heathly weight. 

Post # 9
9792 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

fuzzybunny:  how well do you really know this guy? Its concerning you got married after an 100% LDR. I would not be into a life with lots of insults from the person who is supposed to be my champion.

Post # 11
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, 5’2″ and 123 lbs is still very petite.  Especially if you’re active.  Anything less is definitely bordering on unhealthy.  Please do not let him talk to you this way.  You need to be with a man who thinks you’re beautiful no matter what…whether you’re all dressed up with your makeup and hair done, or if you’ve just rolled out of bed in the morning.  Please know that you are deserving of so much better.  

Post # 12
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you know it isn’t going to end here.  I HOPE you know it’s only going to get worse.   I wouldn’t stay with him, but I also wouldn’t have married him with these issues and the LDR factor….

Post # 13
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m not going to say “leave him” because I guarantee at this point, that isn’t realistic.  As far as advice moving forward I would suggest that you two make a rule when it comes to weight and that is neither of you talk about it. That means you don’t talk about feeling fat or looking fat and neither does he. This also means he nor you talk about other women’s weight. The whole weight topic should never be brought up around you two ever again. Weight is a touchy subject and sometimes it is best to 100% avoid the topic entirely. Now if you set this rule and he continues to break it, then that is another issue. But for now this is what I would suggest. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  AnnieAAA.
Post # 14
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

There’s nothing that says “I’m just joking!” like perpetually making digs about your girlfriend/wife’s weight when you know it obviously bothers her. I’m bonafide fat and I wouldn’t put up with my husband making rips about my weight. We both know that I’m healthy (healthier than he is!).

I don’t think that weight is a subject that has to be completely tabled. But comparisons to other womens’ bodies, and comments along the lines of, “You could be thin if you tried hard enough,” smack of arrogance and ignorance. Many, many people — who are actually overweight and obese — spend most of their lives trying to get thin. I know many, many people who work VERY hard and are not thin…many of them will likely never be thin.

If he’s so worried about your weight, I’d expect a, “Let’s go workout together!” “I’m going to make dinner this week!” Not the perpetual emotional abuse he’s putting you through, especially in front of other people.

I wish I were 5’2″ and 120ish pounds. If this is his behavior now, it’s likely only to get worse as time goes on. I would suggest counseling, and that would be the only way that I would dare avoid dumping his ass today. No more of this, “I won’t do it again, ever!” Then doing it again every time. He’s aware of the situation. Make sure the consequences hurt enough that he either doesn’t do it again, or you simply walk away now and go on living your life.

If my husband treated me that way, and I at all wanted to save the marriage, I would be going days without talking to him. I would be looking into separating until he could shape up. No one deserves this kind of emotional strangulation. Marriage can be tough enough without it.

Post # 15
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you first need to start with your own self confidence and never bring up your weight negatively around him. In fact, let him know that you love your body and how fit/active you are. When you’re around each other, try to work out together so he can see what you are really capable of. Having a “sick” waistline doesn’t mean you are healthy. In fact, your BMI is perfect. So, start with you. 

Then, let it be known that his comments not only hurt your own self esteem, but your marriage. If he continues to lust after other women and not respect you or your feelings, I would suggest talking to counselor about where this all comes from. At the end of the day, I know that I wouldn’t be able to handle a husband that didn’t respect my body. And honestly, it sounds like he is full of it and needs a reality check on how to not compare other women’s bodies to one another. I’m sure if you openly lusted after every man that looked good/ had more muscles and made negative comments about his body, he wouldn’t feel too great either. 

Moral of the story: You’re not fat. Start with yourself and learn to love your own body. Never talk negatively about your body to anyone. 

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