DH and I dont agree on what we want in a home

posted 3 months ago in Married Life
Post # 61
Member
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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@stella678:  Even if the market did crash and your home devalued by say 40%, AT LEAST YOU’D BE LIVING IN A HOUSE NOT A TRAILER! The value of your house only matters when you want to sell it. If that happens, well then don’t sell it

This is spectacularly bad advice =\ I feel bad for your clients. You would really advise a client to put all their $$ into a home, and even if it drops 40% in value who cares, because at least they have a house? How about the very real consequences of paying a mortgage for a house valued at half that. Saying “just dont sell your house!” is easy, except if the husband loses his job? Except if OP requires extensive or expensive medical care? 

Post # 62
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

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@stella678:  I really hope you’re lying about being in real rstate because that is awful advice 

Post # 63
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

Oh my god people… she said they could afford the smaller property without the detached garage right now. Of course I would never encourage anyone to buy property they couldn’t afford! If they can afford the payments, then they should go for it. No re-sale value is ever guaranteed to go up or down. If no one ever bought real estate because “what if my husband loses his job,” then no one would ever own anything. 
he doesn’t oppose buying the smaller property because they can’t afford it, he opposes it because it isn’t HIS ideal home. If my fiancé controlled our living situation like that, he’d have another thing coming. 
He is forcing her to stay living in a trailer that her and her kids are not happy living in when they have the means to live somewhere else more comfortably, and you think that’s ok?

Post # 64
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9183 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@stella678:  What spectacularly bad advice. Were you in real estate when the GFC happened? Because I was and countless people had their loans called in as banks tried to get bad investments off their books. So yeah if you lose 40% of the value of your property and still have a mortgage you are typically in trouble. The OP is not a double income well off family with cash behind them that could weather a property crash. She is a one income family that can barely afford the lower end of her areas property market and has a chronic illness (which costs money and prevents her from working). And we are in a pandemic that is pushing a lot of economies towards a recession. 

Post # 65
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

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@j_jaye:  so do you discourage your clients from buying a home they can afford because “what if you lose your job?” 
40% was a number I pulled out of the air, btw. I have clients who bought when our market was hotter than hot two years ago who won’t get the same price if they tried to sell today. They’d either get the same price or slightly under. So they won’t sell. They’ll continue living happily in their home that they bought at the top of the market because that’s just the way it worked out. That doesn’t mean that two years ago I gave “spectacularly bad advice.” 

Post # 66
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

And I’m not sure why I’ve been singled out when there are multiple other Bee’s who agree that her husband should buy the smaller but still acceptable home… but to set the record straight, I don’t get involved in personal advice in my work like I do on these boards. Clients can sort out their personal issues on their own, or on Weddingbee for all I care. At work, I give FACTS. Whether that’s market stats or property details. They can analyze the stats, weigh the risks, and make their own decisions. So if someone wants to buy in a hot market and they have the means to do so, who am I to stop them? 

Post # 67
Member
6163 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@stella678:  you’re being singled out bc of your ridiculous advice and out of thin air “numbers”. 

Post # 68
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

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@lifeisbeeutiful:  my advice is no different from any of the other Bee’s who also think the OP’s husband is unreasonable but you haven’t jumped down their throats. 

Post # 69
Member
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Dear 

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@stella678:  

Will you please explain what you mean by this: “AT LEAST YOU’D BE LIVING IN A HOUSE NOT A TRAILER!

 

Thank you,

 — Someone Who Grew Up in a Trailer

Post # 70
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

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@Daisy_Mae:  listen, I have nothing against trailers. I live in a pre-fab that isn’t a whole lot bigger than a double wide. It’s no secret that the home that the OP described as what they can afford right now would be more conducive to how her and her children want to live. If you have beef with her negative feelings toward trailers, take it up with her. 

Post # 71
Member
6163 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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@stella678:  you’re trying to give off advice as a “professional” with made up figures/numbers. It’s just bad advice 🤷

Post # 72
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

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@lifeisbeeutiful:  no, I didn’t give any professional advice. I gave my personal opinion which is aligned with what a bunch of other Bee’s said as well. 

Post # 73
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee

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@stella678:  

“no, I didn’t give any professional advice.”

That’s not totally accurate:

“And… (sorry, I’m in Real Estate and I could go on forever..)”

The moment you mentioned that you work in Real Estate is the moment you attempted – not very successfully, I should add – to give more weight/credibility to your comment due to your alledged expertise in the subject.

 

Post # 74
Member
9183 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have no clients because whilst I’m in real estate I am not a real estate agent. And if I was and my clients came to me with the facts that OP presented (one income, bottom of the budget end of the market and chronic illness) then hell yes I would advise them to wait in this current market. Because I would be professional and a decent human being.

I invest in property and right now I am not touching any residental real estate in my country because it is a bad investment. Full stop. We are heading for a recession. Millions are out of jobs and we don’t know how employment is going to change due to the pandemic. 

I don’t know why you (and others) are bringing up other people and their real estate transactions. It has zero relevance to the OP’s situation. The OP asked for advice on her specific facts. If you would advise her to buy then yes you are giving her bad advice. But luckily the OP seems to have more sense.

 

Post # 75
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

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@j_jaye:  Well that explains a lot. You are an investor so your current experience is not comparable to the OP’s current experience. I wouldn’t invest in secondary residential in my market right now either. However, if I was living in an inadequate home and I could afford something modest but a step above where I was at, I would be buying. Her husband is being unreasonable and controlling. All you Bee’s love to preach that women get equal say in life decisions (waiting boards, etc…) yet here we have a dictator of a husband and you are taking his side… ok. 

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