DH and I dont agree on what we want in a home

posted 2 months ago in Married Life
Post # 76
Member
9164 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Again you are trying to deflect. Your advice as per the OP’s situation is bad advice. Me being an investor has nothing to do with it. The market is the market and if you can’t recognise that the current market is not the right market for the OP, a single income family looking at the low end of the market, then I don’t know what to say. 

But I will say that your bias is definitely showing with your repeated reference to a trailer being inadequate housing. Wow just wow. Sounds like you think making a risky financial move is better than having a secure roof over your head. Good thing the OP has way more sense than you. I hope you don’t push other unsuspecting clients into making foolish decisions so you can get a commission. 

Post # 77
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

 

View original reply
@j_jaye: 

“Me being an investor has nothing to do with it.” It totally does. You see the real estate world through a different lens than the OP.

YOU are deflecting, not me. Have you read the OP’s post and updates? If you have, then you would know that SHE is the one who considers her trailer inadequate for multiple reasons. She’s miserable. Her own words, not mine. She has said multiple times that she could afford to buy and you are completely discounting that and blowing up worst case scenarios. 

And no, I don’t “push unsuspecting clients” in to anything. I present facts and they can analyze them and make their own decisions. I’m not advising the OP, I don’t have any FACTS to present her because I am not in her market. It’s simply a personal opinion that if you’re unhappy where you are, you can afford to take a step up in real estate, especially in to a home that is more conducive to raising a family, then you should do it.

In my opinion, which the OP and other’s share, if they buy now and need to wait out a market cycle before they sell the modest home, then at least they are waiting out the cycle in a home that meets most of their criteria and they are happy. I find it absolutely absurd that some Bee’s think she should suck it up and stay in the trailer, where she is miserable, (her words), until her husband finds HIS dream home. If the trailer was supposed to be temporary and their plan was to raise kids in a detached home, then he has betrayed her. Her kids might not even be kids any more when his dream home comes along. 

Post # 78
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

This post has been completely derailed.

Op’s would rather not raise her children in the mobile home community, it was supposed to be temporary and has now been five years and looks to be at least another five before they can afford everything on their wish list.

“the bottom line is that he is set on waiting until we can afford everything we want and I don’t want to continue waiting. So we are at an impasse.”

“I feel like I can’t stand to keep living in our trailer when I know we could have a house, even if that house doesn’t have every single thing I want.”

“And you hit the nail on the head. I really DONT want to keep raising three kids in a trailer if we don’t have to. I don’t feel that my DH appreciates how much it sucks”

“it is really important to me that he gets to experience a few years of living in a “normal” house, before he’s all grown up. I just feel like DH could compromise a little bit since we can absolutely afford a nice house in town or with a smaller yard.”

 If her husband wanted to wait a year to see what happens or wanted to wait till the market went down that would be entirely different, but she came here because her husband doesn’t want to buy until they get everything on their wish list and is their forever home, she would rather compromise some of their wishes and have a different living situation for her family while her children are still children.

That said the housing market cycle is something everyone should be aware of. And all Bee’s would agree that whenever the market cycle comes around and home values inevitably go down everyone could get a lot more house for their money. However, that has nothing to do with Op’s husband only buying once and only when they can afford everything on their wish list. Them jointly deciding to wait till the market dips is one thing, him being unwilling to buy unless it’s everything he wants is another.

If Op wants to monitor the market and be ready to buy when it dips that’s a very valid choice. But her husband making them wait to upgrade their lifestyle until they can afford their dream property when she and her family are not happy in their current living situation isn’t the right thing to do.

There are all sorts of factors that go into deciding when to buy. I bought again near what we all think is the top and it was the right situation for us. And I could explain why but that’s not what this post is about. I only know my own situation, not Op’s so I couldn’t tell her when is right for her and her family. But waiting till you can afford your dream house and living miserably for 10+ years when you could have upgraded to something that was comfortable, but not your dream house, in that time is unnecessary unhappiness.

Again waiting for the market to dip to buy a home is a valid choice. Being unable to afford to move from an unhappy living situation is valid. However, knowing your family is miserable and being unwilling to move until you can afford your dream house is selfish.

 

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