(Closed) DH and I have made a pact…

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@AcheneMalefic:  

1 – Could you possibly have a yeast infection? I know there are some things that make sex painful but can be treated.

2 – Have you looked into birth control non-pill options, like implanon & nuva ring?

3 – While he may not like condoms, if its that or nothing, maybe he would consider it? Plus using a condom may help you not get a UTI?

Also, have you ever tried taking D mannose? Its a natural product that helps to prevent UTI & bladder infections. It actually tastes kinda good, mix it in with water or juice & you can’t really tell. Plus its natural, so no bad side effects :).

Post # 4
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee

@canthugallcats: +1- I second the yeast infection possibility- you need to get that checked out. And if you can’t have hormones, there is always an IUD (although it’s a bit pricey for short-term); there are also other options like a diaphragm and spermicide or even the female condom.

Post # 6
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

Have you considered the Paragard IUD like I am getting?? I will let you know if I hate my life after I get it, it will be able three weeks.

Either way, I applaud you guys. That is awesome that you both can agree on this! It will be tough, but if he is adament about no kids now and no types of BC work for you guys, then I say go for it. It’s much better than the alternative – you miserable on BCP, him miserable with condoms, or you pregnant before he’s ready.

Post # 8
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

1.) Definitely discuss the severe pain with your doctor! It doesn’t sound “normal” and is a sign you may have some other issues.

2.) I agree you can have sexual intimacy without intercourse, and if you made that choice as a couple, then good on you…what’s right for one couple may not be right for another.

Post # 9
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

I know it’s not the same as you, i’m not saying i am. But I had bad pain due to a latex allergy, I now have the non-hormonal IUD, which I think is what paragard is. It’s really changed my life for the better! Best decidion i’ve made in a long while. Hideous 10 mins to get it in, basically no issues since! =)

I hope you can find out what’s causing you pain, I know how much that mega sucks.

Post # 10
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I am not worried about the year of no sex thing as muich as you being in that much pain when you have sex. If you haven’t already you need to see a doctor immediately about that. You may have some other issues and may or may not affect your body when you do have sex again and especially TTC.

Post # 12
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think it sounds like a lot of fun! Maybe coming off of BC will help resolve your issues? I just came off of the Nuva Ring and at first I LOVED it, I had terrible troubles with all the different BC pills I tried and the ring had almost no side effects, until recently, when I also started having pain during sex. I had read that it can cause changes to your insides after a while and I started to get freaked out. Plus it KILLED my sex drive. So anyway, we’re not abstaining, we’re just going for it and TTC.

I hope you get this all figured out and can be pain free soon!!!!  

Post # 13
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@AcheneMalefic:  You should totally check out Paragard! It is a non-hormonal IUD. I am getting it because you know about my issues and I reeeeally do not want hormones. I feel like that it would be completely back tracking what I have already been working on! I had my consult on the 11th and they said it takes 15-20 days for it to come in, so I should have it placed by the end of the month.

That is awesome that you both have low-ish libidos. It’s very important to be on the same level that way! I do agree that you should discuss the painful intercourse with a doctor though, just to be safe. The technical term for it is dyspareunia. Then ask about getting a Paragard!!!

@Honeyblood:  Thank you for sharing your Paragard story, I have to admit, I’m a little nervous about getting mine!

Post # 14
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

@ChuckNorris:  Oh god, I was terrified of getting mine!! Just take pain killers before, make sure you go to the bathroom (I was scared of needing to wee during the procedure) Feel free to ask me anything if you want =)

Post # 15
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@AcheneMalefic:  I didn’t think you were being rude at all :). I have implanon & I love it, I don’t have any side effects except lower sex drive. Maybe Too Much Information but I also haven’t had a period in the 2.5 years I’ve had it… I get it out in a few months (only for 3 years) & not sure what I’m going to do, I qualified to get it free last time, but its spendy & I don’t qualify this time!

Yes please look into D mannose, its a life-saver! Its about $30 for 1-3 months supply (depending on how often you take it). I get the powder form because I hate taking pills & the taste is actually pretty good. I got it at my local health food market.

Post # 16
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m glad you two embrace sex outside of the standard P in V variety! Obviously homosexual couples aren’t engaging in it, and they’re happy with it! Heterosexual couples can enjoy other variety as well and still keep sexual intimacy alive.

It’s defintiely not something I could do though. Hah. Good luck with it.

ETA: and yes, you need to take this time to get checked out about the pain. That’s not normal, but not uncommon either.

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