Post # 1
DH just interviewed for the ultimate job. There was a technical skills part that he felt that he did poorly when he was presenting it to a hiring manager and that has put him in a bad mood for the past week. I tried to joke with him which was probably in poor taste because that’s what my dad does. I’ve been doing some of his chores, cooking (we usually do this together), and stocking up the fridge with his favorite snacks because I don’t know what to do.
What do you do to make your SO’s feel better?
Post # 2
When it comes to work related things, I find it almost impossible to make him feel better. I actually usually give him space and let him come to me when he’s ready to talk, that almost always solves it.
Post # 3
Usually, my DH just needs some time to decompress, process, and come to me when he’s ready. Giving him space might be the best thing to do. But I’ll always tell him that he can talk to me when he’s ready, and that we’re in this together.
Of course, if it goes on tooooo long, then at that point I step in and have a heart-to-heart that his mood is hindering progress. It’s okay to stumble, it’s not okay to stop. If he needs help, we can figure it out together. We’re stronger as a team.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
I usually just leave my husband alone and act like everything is fine. He comes to me if it’s something he wants to discuss or get off his chest, but everyone is different and this is how he “gets over it” best.
Post # 5
Thanks for the responses. I’m going to give him some space and let him come to me…I’ve never seen him like this (probably a huge blow to his ego) so it will be a learning experience.
Post # 6
My SO is a slow processor, so I give him mental space. But his love language is touch and acts of service, so I make sure to do things like massage his back, give extra cuddles, do chores like walking the dog for him so he can sleep in or relax more, etc.
Post # 7
Hello! My SO and I have gone through many up and downs and countless times playing the “wating game” on potential opportunities. My SO usually sits down and discusses his concerns, and I reassure him that we are a team and no matter the outcome we’ll get through it together to either celebrate or look towards the future. That normally helps him, but it’s different for everyone. Give him space but occassionally I would check in and let him know that we’re in it together and that you’re there if he wants to vent or just get his mind off of the situation.
Post # 8
A nice home made dinner, a back-rub and sex normally gets my man out of a funk lol
Post # 9
Space–tons of it. I show concern in a quiet supportive way. I inquire what’s wrong, if wants to talk about it, and how can I help him cope.
if it’s truly bad he’ll be quiet about the issue, I’ll get the hint and not press the issue. I’m the same way that’s why. He usually just takes his frustration out on video games.
Post # 10
Quiet support and I usually try and beef up his confidence in other areas, even just complimenting his appearance. Ask him for help in some tasks, make him feel useful. He will recover sometimes it just takes time.
Post # 11
I ascertain that the problem has nothing to do with me or the boys. Then I tell hm I am always ready to talk if he needs to. Sometimes he needs an outsider’s perspective, sometimes he simply needs to be left aone.
Post # 12
I tried to joke with him which was probably in poor taste because that’s what my dad does
Yeahno , not a good idea for at least two reasons probably. I would HATE that personally . Leave him alone with the jokes, just do other supportive stuff , physical probably best.
Post # 13
At the end of the day, you can’t MAKE him feel better. Give him some time and don’t take it personally if he doens’t cheer up right away.
But of course, showing him that you care and you support him is always a good thing. With my DH, I try to make him feel supported. I tell him how great I think he is, I rub his back, I sunggle with him, I make him dinner. That kind of thing.
Post # 14
My husband gets moody too. I give him plenty of space and go about doing my things. After about an hour, I come back and give him a kiss and a hug and he’s fine.
Post # 15
My husband is such a child at heart, if he’s sad, I usually just buy him a toy. He’s been in a bad mood because of his job lately, but I bought him a fishing pole (we have a pond in the back of our house) and his mood has improved quite a bit. He’s great at compartmentalizing things, so if he’s distracted by something new and shiny, he’s not sad.