(Closed) DH bought us a dog, and now it's ruining our marriage.

posted 7 years ago in Pets
Post # 92
Member
3208 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@Miss Apricot:  yes agreed! 

Rehoming or at least finding a temporary home for the dog should be step number one!!! I’m seriously outraged at this post. Who the hell stands for this type of behaviour? It should be unacceptable. The OP has a choice to stay, but a dog (or subsequently a child) doesn’t. 

Post # 93
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If I couldn’t trust my husband with my dog, there’s no way in hell I would ever trust him with my children. Rehome this poor animal immediately if you do not have the courage to rehome the man.

If that sounds glib, there are warning signs written ALL over this post. How you speak about this situation & your relationship with your husband seems beyond dysfunctional. You should not have to walk on eggshells or be strategic about when you discuss certain things with your husband. His erupting at you sounds emotionally abusive, or at the very least, extremely childish and distorted. Your reaction to what he’s doing is equally distorted. You should not feel the need to protect him from our judgment by withholding info on what he does to this poor dog. You should not be embarassed or ashamed about what he is doing to this creature. It is his fault, not yours. Yes, you have a responsibility to protect this poor creature from further abuse, but think very long and hard about why you did not share the details with us. Are they so monstrous that you are embarassed? Keep in mind that those are not things you should ever feel towards your husband.

The fact that your mom picked up on his controlling/abusive tendencies before you signals to me that he has already been manipulating you. Many have suggested couple’s counseling, but this is not a couple’s issue–it is a him-issue. Furthermore, tread VERY lightly with couple’s counseling as it is not recommended for those in relationship with abusers. And you are in a relationship with an abuser, OP. Just because he is not physically abusing you does not lessen the severity of this. He could go to jail for what he is doing. If I were you, I would never feel safe having a child with this man.

Post # 94
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve already commented here yesterday, but I keep on thinking about you and the puppy.  It’s really ridiculous that your husband thinks he can abuse the puppy and then decide not to re-home it.  Because really, the choice to abuse the puppy should lead to the immediate consequence of having the puppy re-homed.  I’m not sure why he thinks he gets to make both choices.

Post # 95
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

Have we heard back from the OP yet? I keep checking this thread because it truly made me feel physically ill to think that the dog is still in the house with that man.

Post # 96
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I literally couldn’t sleep last night over this thread.  OP, please update us with some happy/good news!

Post # 97
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Good lord I’m disgusted after reading this thread. I’m infuriated that this poor defenseless animal is being abused. OP your husband is a cowardly twat that needs a good kick in his head. Please rehome that dog Before your husband kills it. You can stay if you choose but get the dog the hell outta there!!

Post # 98
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I keep coming back to this post praying I will see an update from OP that the dog is in a new home. So upsetting. 

Post # 99
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mountainrunner333:  if you live in Illinois I’ll pick the dog up PM me. 

Post # 100
Member
3087 posts
Sugar bee

@mountainrunner333:  I am on board with everything that has been said. As a new dog owner myself, it is a transition period especially when you have different styles of “parenting”. But if either one of us ever hit the dog, or even yelled at her in rage (not the usual “Hey, cut that out”) i really think that would be a deal breaker on both sides.

It is definitely a sneak peek into what it is like to have kids with someone. I have found that my SO will be the best Dad ever. Have you asked him why he thinks it is ok to hit a dog? and if he would ever behave this way with your children? Have you guys had the talk about your views on spanking and punishment? I think these would be good things to talk about to get a feel for him..

For some reason i get the vibe he wouldnt go to counseling which is a shame because he obviously has some deep rooted anger issues. I would also rehome the dog to put him out of any danger. It is your responsibility to give him a happy life, even if it is not with you.

Post # 101
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

No word from the OP yet?

Post # 102
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
@Miss Apricot:  +100.

Post # 103
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Animal cruelty is a far deeper psychological issue than just anger issue – although the abusive behavior is being taken out on a helpless and defensless dog. I suggest you #1) PROTECT the dog #2) Remove the dog to a temporary safe home if you have to #3) MAKE your husband go to counseling; make it mandatory – not a choice #4) If he refuses, file for divorce and keep the dog in a safe location until you can properly make sure that the dog is not having any contact with him. Your “husband” sounds like an a**. How long will it be before he lashes out at you and starts abusing you – or maybe he has done that already. And imagine what he would do to an infant? Get the hell outta there.

Post # 104
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

In addition – I hope this thread has the attention of a great moderator. Animal abuse is nothing to just blink an eye at.

Post # 105
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I really hope that you have found a safe place for your puppy OP. Even if you need to put in him a kennel/have him dog sat whilst you try to figure out what the hell is wrong with your husband.

Post # 106
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

after reading through this whole thread,im in tears here. im particularly sensative due to the face i recently lost my dog due to a tumour 🙁

[content moderated for personal attack]

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