(Closed) DH doesn't like "noise". More baby-worries…

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This sounds like my partner he hates noise and doesntbreally like how noisy and kids are. But his mother is the same and had two so maybe it’s true how they say its different when it’s your own

Post # 4
Member
10603 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

He could always get some noise-cancelling headphones.

Post # 5
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

He could always man up.

Sorry, noise stops for no one.

Post # 6
Member
232 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s a combination of manning up and it being different with his own kid. In fact, I can’t stand other kids crying/screaming, being noisy, making messes, etc. But with my daughter, I definitely have a greater patience. And it’s the same with my SO, though he does get annoyed pretty quickly in comparison, usually around the time the noise is just starting to actually become noise to me – still much more patient than with other children. It’s not really a problem.

I mean, it’s your baby. Noise comes with parenting. You adjust to it, and personally my SO and I now feel weird if the house is quiet! I think you two will find that your own baby sounds a lot different than other people’s kids, you’ll have a different kind of patience for them, and if a noise does become a little too much for one of you to handle, the one who’s doing better can take charge of the situation (what ever it may be) and allow the other to get some breathing room, maybe go to a different room – though if it’s something like “Oh I can’t hear the TV over the baby playing noises,” just tell him to use captions. That’s what we do. 😉

Post # 7
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it is different with your own child because of a bond you have. At least that is what my mom told me. If he hates noise he needs to get over it because it’s your child for goodness sake, but honestly I think he may feel different when it is his own child. I think I am kind of impatient when it comes to babies crying too, but I know that comes with having a child and I am going to love my child no matter what.

Post # 8
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you asked him if he wants kids?

Post # 9
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

It sounds more like me lol in the end I just had to deal with it and 7 years later noise is the least of my worries :-p

Post # 10
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re biologically programmed to react to the noise of a baby crying; it’s a signal to adult humans that something is wrong with a little human.  Part of why the crying of other babies annoys us is that we instinctively want to fix whatever is wrong with that baby, but it’s not socially acceptable to pick up their baby and try to figure out what’s wrong, so we have no control over whether the noise stops.  When it’s your own child, you have the ability to make it stop, and after the first couple weeks, you know what to do to make it stop.  This gives you a feeling of control about the situation and makes it less annoying (most of the time; colic is a different issue).  He probably will get better when it’s his own kid, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

Post # 11
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@RunnerBride13:  +10

This would be my biggest concern. Anything else he doesn’t like that is pretty kid-centric? We already have noise, mess, and occasional damage to house and home…. It’s not like those things ‘get better’. My brother’s 17 and still all of those things! 

Post # 14
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@CherryWaves: If you want kids in your lifetime, have the conversation for real, now.

I am childfree by choice, as is my fiance. We’re not having kids for all the reasons you stated; we don’t want to give up the lifestyle we have now. I’d say for 90% of CBC’s, that’s the case. I thought once that I’d have kids. I thought I’d have to give up everything I’ve got now, and my future career, to do so. Note that I didn’t say I *wanted* kids, just that I figured it’d happen. Now that I’m older and have thought about it more, having kids just isn’t what either of us want, and we can’t imagine changing our minds.

I don’t want to discourage you, but it sounds like you two have very different expectations and what could end up happening is you having a husband who feels like I did: sure, he’ll have a kid, but it doesn’t mean he’ll want it or enjoy it. 

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