Post # 1
This is going to sound silly. My extended family is going on a vacation. And by this I mean my mom and siblings along with their spouses and children. I wanted to make up some shirts for their arrival at the beach house. The shirt reads “Jones Family Vacation”. My husband said that was a little exclusive of the other families because they have different last names. I said this is a family vacation of the “Jones” family, extended or not. If we went with his side, would it not be a “Smith” family vacation? Even if his sisters aren’t “Smith” anymore? This is a stupid first world problem, but what do you guys think? As with everything, I think I’m right.
Also, not to play the dead dad card, but he just died two months ago and this is a really hard trip for us to take and I feel like it’s also honoring him … Maybe that’s why I may be a little irrational now.
Post # 2
Why do you even need tshirts? I somewhat agree with him ONLY in the fact that if other people have different last names, sometimes people are sensitive about not being called their proper name.
And again, you don’t really need tshirts. Are you expecting them to wear them while you’re out doing stuff? Do you have everyone’s proper size? TBH it sounds like an extra hassle and expense that will probably get tossed in the garbage after this vacation.
Post # 3
So “Jones” is the family name of your mom and her siblings? I think the shirts are fine and your husband is overreacting. I think “The [Insert Family Name] family reunion” is a pretty typical way to phrase these things and have never heard someone get touchy about it.
One side of my family has a Christmas Party every year that we all refer to as “The Wilson Family Christmas Party,” because that’s the last name of my grandma’s side of the family – even though it’s not the current name of my grandma, nor of her two sisters. In fact, only her brother still has that last name. But it’s a reference to the family as a whole.
Post # 4
You can compromise to Our Family Vacation so you can include everyone or do shirts with people’s first names. It is sweet you are honoring your family but you can understand the sting to other family members not be included.
Post # 5
He’s being ridiculous.
I’m very much a Darling Husband last name most of the time but if my family does something they still include me with maiden name.
Post # 6
I think he’s being a little silly personally. S/O’s family has (their last name) activities all the time and all S/O/spouses/children are included regardless of last name. In fact their eldest sister who orgnanizes most of these things now that their mother is gone has never been a (S/O’s last name) because she has a different father than her other 5 siblings. She has never given it a second thought and neither have I or anyone else. We’re all family regardless of last names.
Post # 7
I think he’s being a bit silly. If my fiance’s family had a t-shirt that said “Jones family vacation,” and I’m still a “Smith,” there are more important things to worry about than “OMG what if they don’t really consider me family how rude.” I’m still part of the family, and I know that because they treat me like family day in and day out. Your husband should look to more important matters when it comes to determining family.
Post # 8
I think he is being sensitive. My fiances family mostly have different last names but they still go by their maiden name in certain situations.
Post # 9
I think you’re right. My sister and I are both married with new last names. If we did a family reunion on our side of the family and had a name for it, it would be ” Family Vacation,” not the names of our spouses. If you were doing something on your DH’s side of the family or just with your immediate family (i.e., you, Darling Husband and your kids, if any) then that would also be different.
Post # 10
Well, let’s face it, nobody NEEDS t-shirts. I just thought it would be a cute gesture. And believe me, I know that some may throw them away, but also some will hang on to them.
The “Jones” name is that of my parents and my maiden name. All the siblings in questions are my sisters and brother. I don’t know, if it’s going to turn into a big deal I guess it’s not worth the hassle. I just think it’s pretty crappy for my husband to quickly crap on the name. I mean I changed my name after the wedding and he has a problem with a t-shirt name?
Post # 11
Cougar09 : I’d skip the shirts entirely and use the time/funds to greet everyone with fresh cookies instead.
Post # 12
Geez Louise–tell him to grow up. As PP said–if it was the Jones Family Reunion that included all the spouses, children, SO’s of the Jones family would he also be upset? He is now a part of the Jones family just as you are part of the Smith family.
Post # 13
um he is being ridiculous…what are you supposed to do? Make it Jones-Smith-Stevens-Johnson-Myers-Fraser Vacation just so every single surname of people going can be included? That’s so stupid, he is attending as a guest of the Jones family on the vacation, as is everyone else there, married spouse or not they are inlaws, not part of the original clan.
Post # 14
I think beethree nailed it. “He is now a part of the Jones family just as you are part of the Smith family”
Post # 15
…Is this a projection of some other problem your husband is having? It seems like an incredibly weird thing to complain about.