(Closed) DH feels exluded on t-shirt

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Why do you even need tshirts? I somewhat agree with him ONLY in the fact that if other people have different last names, sometimes people are sensitive about not being called their proper name.

And again, you don’t really need tshirts. Are you expecting them to wear them while you’re out doing stuff? Do you have everyone’s proper size? TBH it sounds like an extra hassle and expense that will probably get tossed in the garbage after this vacation.

Post # 3
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

So “Jones” is the family name of your mom and her siblings? I think the shirts are fine and your husband is overreacting. I think “The [Insert Family Name] family reunion” is a pretty typical way to phrase these things and have never heard someone get touchy about it.

One side of my family has a Christmas Party every year that we all refer to as “The Wilson Family Christmas Party,” because that’s the last name of my grandma’s side of the family – even though it’s not the current name of my grandma, nor of her two sisters. In fact, only her brother still has that last name. But it’s a reference to the family as a whole.

Post # 4
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You can compromise to Our Family Vacation so you can include everyone or do shirts with people’s first names. It is sweet you are honoring your family but you can understand the sting to other family members not be included.

Post # 5
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

He’s being ridiculous.

I’m very much a Darling Husband last name most of the time but if my family does something they still include me with maiden name.

Post # 6
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I think he’s being a little silly personally. S/O’s family has (their last name) activities all the time and all S/O/spouses/children are included regardless of last name. In fact their eldest sister who orgnanizes most of these things now that their mother is gone has never been a (S/O’s last name) because she has a different father than her other 5 siblings. She has never given it a second thought and neither have I or anyone else. We’re all family regardless of last names. 

Post # 7
Member
819 posts
Busy bee

I think he’s being a bit silly. If my fiance’s family had a t-shirt that said “Jones family vacation,” and I’m still a “Smith,” there are more important things to worry about than “OMG what if they don’t really consider me family how rude.” I’m still part of the family, and I know that because they treat me like family day in and day out. Your husband should look to more important matters when it comes to determining family.

Post # 8
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

I think he is being sensitive. My fiances family mostly have different last names but they still go by their maiden name in certain situations.

Post # 9
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee

I think you’re right.  My sister and I are both married with new last names.  If we did a family reunion on our side of the family and had a name for it, it would be ” Family Vacation,” not the names of our spouses.  If you were doing something on your DH’s side of the family or just with your immediate family (i.e., you, Darling Husband and your kids, if any) then that would also be different.

Post # 11
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

Cougar09 :  I’d skip the shirts entirely and use the time/funds to greet everyone with fresh cookies instead. 

Post # 12
Member
6657 posts
Bee Keeper

Geez Louise–tell him to grow up. As PP said–if it was the Jones Family Reunion that included all the spouses, children, SO’s of the Jones family would he also be upset? He is now a part of the Jones family just as you are part of the Smith family. 

Post # 13
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

um he is being ridiculous…what are you supposed to do? Make it Jones-Smith-Stevens-Johnson-Myers-Fraser Vacation just so every single surname of people going can be included? That’s so stupid, he is attending as a guest of the Jones family on the vacation, as is everyone else there, married spouse or not they are inlaws, not part of the original clan.

Post # 14
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee

I think beethree nailed it.  “He is now a part of the Jones family just as you are part of the Smith family”

Post # 15
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

…Is this a projection of some other problem your husband is having? It seems like an incredibly weird thing to complain about.

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