DH going on trip this weekend and I'm upset about it.

posted 4 days ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think you’re pregnant and you’re tired and you’re gonna spend a whole weekend dealing with that alone and with a toddler to take care of as well. If the hurricane is gonna affect the weekend anyway I’d reschedule regardless but considering your current condition I’d be upset too that he’s not rescheduling at the very least. 

Post # 3
Member
4358 posts
Honey bee

If you didn’t have a toddler, I might feel differently. Can you have someone stay with you? Mom or friend to help out? Even a babysitter might be help. I wouldn’t want him to reschedule but ugh thats so shitty. 

Post # 4
Member
5045 posts
Bee Keeper

Tell him he’s good to go if he takes the toddler with him. smile

Otherwise, echoing PP, do you have anyone who can help you? 

Post # 5
Member
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

daysgoneby :  You’re pregnant, sick and have a toddler to take care of? You’re not over reacting at all.

If he’s really unable/unwilling to change or cancel the trip, is there someone else that can stay with you and help you out?

Post # 6
Member
996 posts
Busy bee

I totally understand you, but if he never does anything and he has been looking forward to this I can understand him not wanting to offer to stay. Him getting everything for you is good, maybe you could get a friend to hang Out? 

Post # 7
Member
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I can understand you’re feeling shitty but since your husband doesn’t usually do things with his friends and he has already mentioned he can’t reschedule I think it’s understandable if he went on this trip.

Do you have any family locally?

Post # 8
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee

I was entirely on his side until you mentioned you HAVE A TODDLER TO TAKE CARE OF.

Even still, I would look for every other option for help before asking him to sacrifice this weekend, especially if he never gets to do anything for himself. 

And if all else fails, and he goes on his weekend, and you can’t find help, then I would want to negotiate a “return” – as in, he takes the toddler all weekend next weekend so you can just lay in bed for days on end. Or a spa day if you’re feeling up to it. 

Post # 9
Member
8087 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

daysgoneby :  I’m with the PPs who thought you were being a little hard on him until the part about the toddler. Nope. He can take the little one or he can find suitable alternate care for the little one while he’s gone. Leaving you puking, medicated, and caring for a toddler for 3 days does not cut it. Hope he gets it sorted out!

Post # 13
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry you’re not feeling well! The toddler in the mix changes my original opinion. If he literally never does anything like this for himself and has been looking forward to it for a long time, I’d feel really bad about him backing out last minute or cancelling plans. But when does he leave, tomorrow? Can he do the grocery shopping and pick up/ do some meal planning for you tonight before he goes to help out? And maybe call a girlfriend over on Saturday to help you with dinner and just give some relief so you can maybe take a nap or just be “on call” in case you’re not feeling well and need a backup to help with your kid?

Post # 14
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I would side with your husband on this one if the toddler wasn’t in the picture. However, he has to accept that he is a father and husband first. His pregnant wife is miserably sick and it is not right for him to take off all weekend and leave you to care for a toddler in the state you are in. It sucks that he hasn’t simply decided that himself – it’s really unfair to put you in the position of having to ask him to stay home with you and then possibly spend all weekend with him being resentful about it. 

Hopefully, if you just lay it out to him why you need him home this weekend, he agrees and doesn’t get upset about it. 

Sorry you’re having such a shit time 🙁

Post # 15
Member
4074 posts
Honey bee

daysgoneby :  uhhh the sink shouldn’t be full your husband should do that while you’re super sick. He should get the house in top shape before he leaves with food in the fridge and everything. I’d be upset too. 

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