DH going on trip this weekend and I'm upset about it.

posted 1 year ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you just tell him to get shit done before he goes I wouldn’t ask him to reschedule. I might be bitter about it but you said he doesn’t do anything normally, it is for his birthday weekend, and honestly you don’t know when you will feel better. Sometimes morning sickness doesn’t go away (I hope it does for your sake)  I’m not saying it will be easy. But I would definitely let him go and do a trade that he takes the toddler next awakens and you get some nice r&r. 

Post # 33
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That is crazy messed up. 

YOU and your child are his family and he should be having his bday with you. He obviously thinks it’s weird too but it seems he cares more about appeasing his friends than you, you need to have a serious conversation NOW.

Post # 34
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

daysgoneby :  OMG each of your updates gets worse. 

“Darling Husband is even saying he thinks it’s really messed up and he’d be sad to be celebrating his birthday without us”

Why is he taking a trip that’s going to make him so sad then? Did I miss something is he going to be tied up and abducted to go on this trip? Tell him the bees have figured out a solution to his sadness: To not go.

Orrrrrr he can take you guys with him to his cousin’s house and just do that part of the trip. 

Post # 35
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I get where you’re coming from, but if your morning sickness is so intense, it might not go away for your whole pregnancy! There’s no saying you’ll be okay next weekend or even the one after…if he rarely does things like that, I wouldn’t stop him or guilt him into staying this one time.

 

edit: updates are confusing my thoughts on this :/

Post # 36
Member
6628 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

What in the ever loving fuck? Does your husband usually have his head this far up his own ass? Does he just roll like a tumbleweed from place to place?

No, he doesn’t usually do things and yes, it sucks to have to cancel but that’s parenting. If you want to do your own thing all the time, don’t get married and don’t have kids. I can’t believe he was even planning to leave you with the baby all weekend and now, with this added development, it should have occurred to him (when his equally foolish cousin came up with that mini party idea) to say “Hey, why would you plan a gathering for MY birthday that includes YOUR family but excludes MINE?!”

How about he tell cousin’s wife thanks but no thanks on the cake, go away for ONE night camping and then come home and be with you and the two little humans you’ve created together.

Dear Jesus, I hope your kids get their common sense from you.

Post # 37
Member
6899 posts
Busy Beekeeper

So all the guys will be staying at his cousin’s house? How old is their daughter? Maybe he really can take your toddler. 

Your sickness trumps the friend’s sacrificed tickets–he should reschedule. 

Post # 38
Member
12618 posts
Honey Beekeeper

daysgoneby :  What’s the difference? The presence of the cousin’s wife and a cake? This was my earlier point. He knew it was his birthday when he made these plans. He chose to go out of town on an optional trip planned relatively recently, on his bday, while you are barely functional at home, with a toddler. 

All I can say is that none of this would work for me. 

Post # 39
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you are really cannot take it, then just ask him nicely to reschedule. Man are just plain stupid sometimes he might not get it that you want him to cancel. Just ask him, he might oblige eventhough he might not very happy (also understandable).

Post # 41
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2022

daysgoneby :  “Even he thinks it’s messed up”…and so? What is he gonna do about it? Cause it seems to me from your posts he is 100% okay with leaving his sick pregnant wife at home to care for a toddler while he plays family birthday party at his cousins. Yeah, I’d be fuming. You need to ask him to reschedule i say.

Post # 42
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

An adult takes care if his or her nuclear family. He doesn’t abandon a sick partner. He does walk out on childcare when his partner is sick. He’s prioritizing a friend’s cancelled concert tickets over the health and comfort of his wife and the safety and comofrt of his child.

I think many of you are being way, way too easy on him. Of course he stays home and cares for his family–wouldn’t you? There shouldn’t be any question in her mind, his mind, or his friends’ minds. It’s what you do.

(The dishes in the sink, etc., make me think that he’s not an adult at all.)

Post # 43
Member
3245 posts
Sugar bee

Who the hell wants to camp with hurricane rains? That sounds absolutely awful. “Let’s all sit in our tents while inches upon inches of rain pours! Woo!”

If he thinks it’s messed up, he should not go. 

Actions speak louder than words. 

Post # 44
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Well, this escalated fast..

Pregnancy sickness/trip/husband doesn’t do much ever: Aw, okay. Sucks but I’d let him have it.

We have a toddler: Nevermind, not cool.

They’re going to have an intimate party with home baked cakes, cousin’s spouse, and their children meanwhile his actual child and pregnant wife that’s horribly sick is at home with no help: ……

Ha ha ha..ha…

Tell him that’s funny and you’re glad he chose to reschedule.

But seriously though, I’m side eyeing the hell out of the lack of consideration your husband appears to have; time for a serious talk. Also seriously judging who offers to throw a bday party and not inquire about the birthday person’s spouse and child attending (then rescheduling when you find that said spouse is sick/working/tending to house/children alone though still falls on your husband to speak up).

Post # 45
Member
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

daysgoneby :  

He wants to go out and play while his wife is sick and miserable?  I was on Team Husband for a brief moment. Then I read the part about you having a TODDLER to take care of.

Not only is this childish and obnoxious, it’s not even safe.  How can you properly supervise a toddler when you’re well below 100%?

On the morning sickness—check with your doctor, of course, but a lot of women have gotten very good relief from the odd combo of B6 and Unisom taken at bedtime. If he doctor says no to the Unisom, try the B6 alone anyway.  Extra perk—B6 is a natural insect repellent.

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