Post # 1
My DH found out 3 months ago his office is closing down so he will be losing his job. They have not given out the official letters yet, but DH knows his last day will be in March or June. He has been with this company since graduating college 6 years ago.
When DH first found out I gave him sometime to process it all before I started asking about what he would do next. I started looking up jobs in his field and helped him with his resume. He applied to 5 jobs back in November and never followed up. I kept telling him to keep looking and he would always get mad and felt like I was nagging so I backed off. He had one interview which he should hear back from soon. He told me numerous times that after the holidays he would really start looking.
Yesterday he had an interview-his boss personally recommneded him to the new compnay. He thought he would get this job and I think had “put all his eggs into that basket.” Well the interview did not go well-the guy was a jerk and told him that he was only interviewing DH as a favor. So DH had rest of day off yesterday and told me he would apply to jobs. I got home from work and he had not yet done so. Told me he would do it last night. I asked him this morning and he still did not.
He is losing his job in 3-5 months. I dont understand why is not motivated. I got really upset this morning. He is usually is on top of things. He does not seem upset abpout losing his job-he wanted to get a new job anyway. We have been talking about TTC in in May and saving more money. I feel like he is being selfish. He has plenty of time to look for a job.
Do you think I am over reacting? I am nervous. I want us to be ok financially. I dont know what else to say to him. I already backed off for like 2 months, but now I am stressing!
Thanks for the help 🙂
Post # 3
@jessmex12: I don’t think you’re being selfish. I think you just need to find out why he’s not motivated. Maybe there are deep rooted reasons like he’s afraid, etc. I’d try having a sit down with him where you stay calm and don’t accuse, just try to get to the bottom of what is going on. Good luck!
Post # 4
@jessmex12: ughhh, I went through this with DH. He’d gone back to school for a new degree and after he graduated and needed to find a job in his new field, he procrastinated like no other! We needed the money and I would go to work and leave him home every day, thinking he would be job hunting as much as possible. It just didn’t happen. I helped him with his résumé and did what you are doing, helped him look and apply online. I can’t really tell you why my DH wasn’t more motivated, I think it was just that he somehow thought a job would “fall into his lap” and that he wouldn’t actually have to seek one out. He did end up finding a job, but I just can’t relate. When I need a job, I apply to anything and everything nonstop.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
He’s probably slightly panicking inside. I would be. I absolutely HATE job hunting, so I’d be very stressed about the whole thing. And having someone being really rational and motivated would put me in a bad mood. I know it’s stupid, but I definitely can imagine that your DH might be feeling like that. I know that doesn’t help the situation, but I’d give him some space.
Maybe schedule a time to sort of formally meet with DH with the agenda set for “next steps” and whatever else.
Post # 6
I am sorry for your husband’s job loss. You say he has three to five months left before he loses it, so he probably feels he has some time to look.
I would just ask, do you have faith in your husband to do the right things overall? If you do, I think you can trust he will make a good decision in time for that new job.