(Closed) DH is furious with me…

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 77
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@vorpalette:  Absolutely beautiful.

@ OP _ For goodness sake, you have apologized and cried long enough. Just because he is having a hissy fit doesnt mean you have to beat yourself up.

 

Post # 78
Member
13889 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow.  It sucks, and obviously you know you messed up, but I think he is majorly over-reacting.  You didn’t total the car, it was the rims!  Yeesh!  Just apologize and move on.  If you want to call the insurance company, do so and get them fixed, but stop dwelling on it.  You didn’t do it on purpose, owned the mistake, and apologized.  There’s nothing else you can do until he grows up and acts like an adult.

FWIW, I think anyone giving anyone else the silent treatment is completely immature, especially when you’re in a marriage. 

Post # 79
Member
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My DH would be pretty mad too….Is that childish? Probably yes. It’s not a normal part of marriage, but it happens, lots of people “regress” when they have anger they don’t know how to deal with. I have read that anger often has alot to do with fear, fear that he worked so hard for those rims and now they might remain damaged/flawed (yes, a childish fear but a fear) fear that he can’t trust you with his things, fear that he can’t have a grown up conversation because of discomfort, his own shortcomings, etc…who knows  and it’s not exactly grounds for divorce IMO, certainly grounds for a nice long conversation about what’s expected of him maturity wise, and how he might handle situations like this better in the future. 

Post # 80
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think you need to double check how he was freaking out. I agree with all PP that if it’s just a childish flip out then let him get it out of his system and once he’s feeling ok have a talk about how it was no-no behavior. 

HOWEVER was he verbally demeaning to you? belittling? did it turn into name calling? Did it seems like is goal was more focused more on making you feel like shit then getting a point across? I wouldn’t call any of these grounds for divorce right away, but they are definately things to look out for.

Hope everything is all worked out by now!

Post # 82
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Happy to hear all is ok!

Post # 83
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My sister dated a car guy like this for 9 years (he’s now her husband) 

id kindly remind him that the car is replaceable…you’re not, and maybe he should put some things into perspective. 

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