(Closed) DH is mad at me for taking the flue shot.

posted 9 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aw, you didn’t do anything horrible.  I’m sure he’s upset because it was a decision you two made together, but then you went “behind” his back and did it anyways.  (hugs)  I hope he cheers up soon.

Post # 4
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Has he been educated on how dangerous it is to be unprotected from the flu during pregnancy? You are more likely to catch the flu and if you do catch it there are some potentially seriois complications.  It is recommended for all pregnant women!

Post # 5
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Is there a reason you went with it? 

We are TTC and my Dr. had us BOTH get our whooping cough(spelling) boosters, and flu shots.  I have no idea about the ramifications of getting the flu shot when you’re already preg.

Post # 6
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

He has this totally backwards. It’s really dangerous to get the flu when you are pregnant. Vaccines are NOT THE DEVIL.

Post # 7
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

The influenza vaccine is one of the only vaccines it is reccomended to give to pregnant women because the flu can absolutely cause problems with the fetus. There is a reason that when there was a flu vaccine shortage, the elderly and pregnant women were considered high risk and got the shot first.

Not having a flu shot and being pregnant during flu season is almost as bad as knowingly drinking alcohol or smoking while pregnant, IMO.

Post # 8
3631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your doctor (and many, many others) strongly suggest pregnant women get the yearly flu shots for a reason, because the risks of actually getting the flu are higher than the risks from the shot. Tell your husband he should be happy you are protecting your baby based on the most recent and best research currently avaliable. 

Post # 9
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

it’s safe to get the flu shot during pregnancy AS LONG AS it is the mercury-free one. at least that’s what Mr Google says. I don’t know how your husband’s opinion is more valid than a medical professional’s.

Post # 10
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s very important for pregnant women to get the flu shot.  DH can be upset when it’s his body, not yours.

Post # 11
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I feel badly that you feel horrible, but you did technically decide together that you would NOT be getting the vaccine…If going to your appointment made you reconsider the decision I would say you should have gone home to discuss this with your DH first and then reassessed together.

Post # 12
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

You 100% should get the flu shot.  Having the flu is very dangerous for a pregnant woman.  There is science showing that fact.  But there is no science backing up your husband’s claim.

In terms of the discussion, if your husband is unable to join you at appointments he is going to have to trust you to make some decisions.  I assume your Dr. advised this, so you had to make the decision to protect you and the baby.  You will have MANY decisions to make over this pregnancy and more once the baby is born, so its good to make sure you trust each other and know how to figure things out together.  it only gets harder when the baby actually arrives 🙂

ETA: From the CDC website

If you’re pregnant, a flu shot is your best protection against serious illness from the flu.

The flu is more likely to cause severe illness in pregnant women than in women who are not pregnant. Changes during pregnancy make pregnant women more prone to severe illness from flu, causing hospitalizations or even death. Pregnant women with the flu also have a greater chance for serious problems for their unborn baby, including miscarriage or preterm birth.”


Post # 13
687 posts
Busy bee

@cph0618:  +1

To me, this isn’t about the actual situation – getting the flu shot vs not getting the flu shot. I would also be upset if my partner and I made a mutual decision, then I went around it and “broke” our agreement without consulting him first. I think it IS a smart decision to get the flu shot while preggo, but since you agreed not to, you should have consulted your partner about it before going against your agreement. 

I understand there are legitmate reasons for GETTING the shot, but clearly your husband has reasons to think otherwise (and I assume you did too, since you had agreed you wouldnt orginially get it). So I think it would have been best to go back to your husband, update him with whatever facts it was that changed your mind, and discuss and have him change his mind before proceeding to be vaccinated. 

Post # 14
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Is he a medical professional? Tell him until he has a medical degree to stop being obnoxious.

Post # 15
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’ve got the flu right now, and you DO NOT want this – pregnant or not. It’s much more dangerous when you’re pregnant, and if your doctor didnt think there was a good reason for it, you wouldn’t have gotten it. Don’t stress about it, you did the right thing. 

Post # 16
7382 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@pharmy:  I think that comparing a vaccine to drinking or smoking is incredibly unfair.  There is no good medical reason to drink or smoke, there are very good medical reasons to not get a vaccine.

OP, why did you change your mind?  If it’s something the doctor told you to make you better informed, hopefully you can explain that to your DH and he will understand.  For what it’s worth, I do think that it’s worthwhile for most pregnant women to get the influenza vaccine.

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