@sofialovesmikey: Sweetie, you won’t get any flames from me for reading his messages. Given your history with this man, I dont blame you one bit.
You say you won’t leave, so then, what is it you want? I’m going to be blunt, your husband is an untrustworthy, selfish liar who is absolutely emotionally cheating on you for the third time three months into your marriage. In my opinion, it’s only a matter of time until he physically cheats as well. Even if this is all he ever does, it’s still a violation of your marriage and trust.
Understand that if you choose not to leave, you choose to accept this behavior from him. Sure, you all can fight and talk and get professional help but if he has no intention of stopping this behavior – and it appears he doesn’t – why bother?
You dont deserve to have to worry what he’s up too every time he looks at his phone. If he can pull this shit with you when you should still be on your honeymoon, what do you think he’ll do when life gets rough years in? Do you plan on having kids? What do you think will happen when you need to focus all your time and attention elsewhere? How will you feel if you spend years with him pulling this only to have him dump you for his sideline girlfriend of the moment?
I don’t know your husband but I don’t believe for one second he didnt know what he was doing the first time. Don’t let him sell you that crock is shit about “just friends” again. He absolutely knows what he’s doing this time.
Ask yourself this – is your husband a man of good character? I dont mean is he nice or polite or charming. I mean, does he do the right thing when no one is looking? Does he lie or cheat to get what he wants if he thinks he can get away with it? Is he selfish? Does he put others first? Or does he spent a lot of time rationalizing how he’s not really doing anything wrong? Be brutally honest – in your gut you know the answer. If he’s not a man of good character, then know he will only ever be a good husband to you when it benefits him. The moment it doesn’t, the moment you need him to sacrifice for you he will let you down, hard.
Honestly, I think you should pack your bags, wait for him to get home from work, tell him you know everything and that you’re done with his sorry, cheating, pathetic, lying ass and go.
I’m very sorry you’re going through this.