(Closed) DH is the bed bug! Marriage ref, anyone?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Can you put the new mattress in the old poster frame?  Then just get rid of the old mattress?

Post # 4
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

Sorry, bedbugs are a nightmare and potentially traumatic. I have encased our mattress, too! The good news is that there are some fabric mattress encasers you can buy that don’t make any noise.

This seems to be more about you having to get rid of your old bed, which you don’t want to do. Have you talked to him about your attachment to it?

However, that might be a moot point since bedbugs are serious and if this old bed has them, you might want to get rid of it (and check the rest of your house; those type of bugs are drawn to you more than to your furniture).

 

Post # 6
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

It’s a beautiful bed!! I really sympathize. I just got lucky that my bed was new-ish and FH’s was falling apart, so we got to throw his out. 

I don’t know. Everything I’ve read says that one bedbug is symtomatic of more (maybe some other experts will chime in). But really, I imagine this is more about the bed than the bugs. 😉 Yours is so nice, it’s a beautiful piece of furniture.

What would you do with it if you kept it? Like a spare room or something?

Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you found ONE bedbug, you probably have waaaaay more than that.  They don’t travel alone and they breed really fast.  They can also live for a year without feeding, so your DH’s 2 month waiting period isn’t long enough.  If you found a bed bug in the old bed, even if you got rid of the mattress, they’re probably living in the bed frame itself.

Trust me, I had bed bugs last year.  We had them for more than six months, and had all of our furniture and our entire apartment professionally treated three times.  I finally took apart every single piece of our (Ikea) furniture, cleaned each piece, bought a (non-crinkly) mattress encasement, and we ended up having to throw out two couches.  Those bugs are a nightmare, and I totally understand your DH’s craziness about them.  If I saw a bed bug right now in my apartment, I might cry.

That doesn’t necessarily solve your problem as to getting rid of/keeping bed frames, but do some Google searching on bed bug problems and treatments, and you might be able to understand more where your Darling Husband is coming from.

Good luck!!

Post # 8
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

One thing I’ve learned about marriage is that it doesn’t matter if what your partner is asking seems reasonable or not.

Sometimes you just have to accept that your spouse is emotional about a particular subject, and won’t respond to reason.  It also makes it easier when the tables are turned, and you’re feeling less than reasonable about something!

Does your partner ask for much?  If so, I would just grant his request.

If your partner piles on the requests though, then it might be better to find a good compromise or solution!

Post # 9
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Bed bugs can be a serious issue and if there’s one, there might be others.  Seriously, they’re gross and if you’ve ever had any experience with them, just seeing one if enough to give you the heebie jeebies.

I would either let him do whatever he wants to be comfortable sleeping in your bed, although maybe look for alternates like the one suggested by @mitla.

Also, I know you like the bedframe, but if that frame was the one that held the frame with the bedbug, I would get rid of it, and do some serious deep cleaning of your room.  Also, because of the possible bedbug situation, I would be weary about selling the frame or old mattress to anyone.  If there are more bedbugs, you would just be giving them to someone else.  Even though it was just one bug, it’s all stuff to consider for preventative measures.

Post # 10
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m sorry…that’s a beautiful bed, but I would throw it out…immediately!!!!! 1 means you have WAYYYYYYYY more…you probably just don’t see them…it means there’s a potentially huge problem…I think your husband is right…I used to babysit a couples children in their house and they had bed bugs…I remember putting the child to sleep one day and after his nap waking up to the child having red bumps all over his face and hands…it was disgusting…and the put those plastic mattress covers over ALL of their beds…

Post # 11
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Quite frankly, you should not sell your friends your bed frame if you suspect that you have bed bugs.  It’s quite beautiful, but bedbugs can live in bedframes.   People often have difficulty sleeping if they suspect or have experienced bed bugs, and it can cost more than $5,000 (it is recommended that you dry clean all your clothes or run them through the heater since the bugs can live there).  It would be terrible to expose a friend to those potential costs. 

Post # 12
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Like the other posters said, bed bugs are pretty serious, can spread rapidly, and are hard to get rid of. I would get rid of the old bed/frame immediately.

Post # 13
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Bed bugs are bad.  I’ve seen lots and lots of families battle bed bugs for months on end.  They are awful!  And have you ever been bitten by one?  Owie!

Really, that queen sized should not be in the house at all, encased in plastic for the duration of the killing period and then removed.  Same for the frame.

And as for living with crinkly plastic for 2 months… Honestly, small price to pay to avoid bed bugs.  Your honey isn’t being crazy.  He’s being smart!  Bed bugs are an awful awful nightmare!

Post # 14
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The NY Times has written all kinds of scary stuff about bedbugs. Yuck! Get an inspector in right away. Preferably one with a dog.

Post # 16
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I would have to think that if there is one bed bug there are more…lots more…

 

eeek

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