(Closed) DH likes his friends better?? Anyone else? :/

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wait…he’s not excited to go on your honeymoon?

Post # 4
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Friendships are very important to both of us, and we do break away from each other to hang out with our friends. Maybe just tell him it hurts your feelings because he’s acting like going on your Honeymoon instead of camping is a chore?

 

Post # 5
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah, I’d be really honest about how that makes you feel! Fiance is a homebody and I’m a social butterfly, so we’re probably a bit opposite.  We always schedule “US” time that is uninterrupted.  Nothing can come between that!

Post # 7
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MeganTacky2247:  I really think this is probably one of those times you shouldn’t take what he said “personally.”  (I know, I know, we take everything they say personally, don’t we?)  But I doubt he’s intending it to mean how it’s being interpreted by you.  He just knows his boys are going to have a big ol’ time without him and he’s feeling left out.  You could point out to him that they’re going to be majorly jealous because he’ll be on his honeymoon getting all the sex he wants, while they’ll just be on a camping trip with each other, no sex, lol.  (Well, I’m assuming no sex).

Post # 9
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My husband has a bro-mance with his friends too – I don’t know if they ever outgrow it… LOL.

Post # 10
Member
6544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t get too upset about it. I’m like your Darling Husband…lol. 

I just don’t agree that couples should always spend their free time together. Fiance and I have a lot of different hobbies.

My friends and I don’t get a lot of free time, and when we do, we want to partake in our hobbies – and that usually happens to be things Fiance doesn’t enjoy doing (going to the beach, riding my horse, etc). Fiance has a job that keep him traveling a good portion of the year, and he gets limited time at home. I’ll be the first one to admit that I get super bummed when my friends are doing something while he’s home and I can’t joint them b/c I’m spending time with Fiance. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him, but we all have busy lives so it sucks missing out on fun things.

I just got back from a week long trip with 3 girlfriends. We took our horses to the mountains riding for a week, rented a cabin, hung out, etc. They all went out of town this weekend to run a race and I *really* wanted to go but couldn’t, because I’d just been out of town for a week and had to spend time with Fiance. I was really bummed, but it is what it is.

Post # 11
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I feel like my situation is a bit different, I would like more time with my friends and he doesnt see the need.  He would rather spend his time with me and dont get me wrong, I am not complaining but I miss my friends.  I encourage him to go out with his friends while I go out with mine.  When he does go out with his friends, he wants me to come alone.

I miss having girltime.  

Post # 12
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I’d be irritated with his attitude, too. I think because it’s the honeymoon, it would really get under my skin in a big way. It’s not even a standard vacation that just happens to “get in the way.” It’s a honeymoon!

In all honesty, I’m pretty sure I’d start getting very snarky, too. I’d probably tell him to go camping and I’ll go on the trip. However, unlike him, I won’t be giving up all the perks of a honeymoon, so I’d tell him I’m going to splurge on some high end adult toys with all the money saved by not having to drag his a** out to eat during the trip. I know that’s over-the-top, so maybe I’d chicken out.

My huge irritation factor would also likely stem from the fact that I’m the vacation planner in our relationship. We show up somewhere, and he expects me to have either a firm plan in place to keep him fed and entertained or give him a variety of choices. If planned a honeymoon for us and heard him acting ungrateful over it, my reaction would not be pretty. It would have nothing to do with his friends or how much time he spends with them. It would be centered around his respect for my time and attention – the kind of attention he’s used to from me and now expects. (I even have to plan his business trips for him. He tells me when and where, I find the hotel, transportation options, restaurant suggestions, and provide a list of sights nearby that he might want to squeeze in on the trip.)

Post # 13
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Uh wow, I would feel hurt if my Darling Husband took that attitude about our honeymoon too. 

I think you need to discuss this with him. Let him know that you feel like he would rather spend your honeymoon with his buddies.

Post # 16
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I really think you should talk to him about the way his attitude towards your honeymoon is making you feel. I don’t think that’s an ok way to act or behave. It really kind of dismisses you and your importance as far as this trip and it’s specialness.

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