(Closed) DH – “Men are never really ready to have a baby…”

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

BS.  My husband was ready before me for #1, and he was ready to start trying for #2 within a year (not me!).  I have several friends whose husbands were definitely more ready than they were.  I think in some ways it is the opposite since the hubby is not the one that has to be pregnant, give birth, etc….its pretty easy for them to be ready, their job in that whole process is fun!

Post # 4
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Um, I think he’s allowing society’s expectations of how he should react to make a silly excuse!

My Darling Husband and I are planning to be married a few years before we start trying, but not much beyond that (we’re also both in our late 20s). We joke about how we think HE will actually be ready to TTC before I will be – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to have kids and think it will be a huge blessing, but WOMEN are the ones that have to sacrifice our bodies and mental states for the sake of reproduction!

Post # 5
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

My husband is one of those guys too. He wasn’t raised to think being a parent is a really great thing, and he was definately not a priority to his mom a lot of the time. When it comes to having kids and pregnancy he pretty much went along with it. But once he was a Dad he definately loves our kids and is great with them. Some people just don’t get excited over those things, but they can still be great parents.

Post # 6
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think thats BS!

I agree with the statement, men become fathers when they “see” their baby, and women become mothers when they get pregnant. But I definitly think men can be ready! My Fiance and I have a close friend who is so so happy/ready to be a dad! He doesnt more than the mom sometimes! He loves his daughter and loves doing any “dad” activies.

Post # 7
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

My husband was ready at 37.  If he isn’t ready, don’t do it!  Both parents have to be committed to the process.  If he became a father and still wasn’t “ready” which happens, that would be terrible.

Post # 8
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well, he’s right about women being ready by 30.  As someone who DID NOT want kids at all in my early twenties….this thing called a biological clock started ticking at 27.  And scared the crap out of me. 

Darling Husband knows my history with my ex-H and how I really want one.  He wants to make me the happiest woman on the face of the earth by giving me one.  He was pushing for it once we sent out our wedding invites. 

And just last night, he asked me to get something and forgot to say please…it’s a stupid pet peeve of mine! So I said “what are you gonna do when our kid doesn’t have manners or shows you up by saying you need to say please.”  Well then he was talking about how cute our kid would be, how smart they would be, and how he can’t wait to hear them talk….no pressure here!!!

Post # 9
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Fiance has baby fever BAD, and I made it all the way to 30 and even beyond a little bit before I decided I’m going to be ready to TTC soon.  He jokes that the batteries in my biological clock died 🙁

Post # 10
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

BS.  My hubby was fully on board when we started ttc’ing, and when we suffered a mc in Dec of 2011, he was as hurt, sad, angry and disappointed as I was.  

Post # 11
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband is kind of like the OP. He really wants to have kids one day, but I definitely feel the time pressure more. We are the exact same age (31) so I feel like I really want to get on it and soon. He is fine with our timeline but wouldn’t see a problem with waiting, either. He just really doesn’t think about the age thing, even when I try to explain it. 

Then again, he is sure it will happen on the first try, where I may be a little more realistic in that regard!

Post # 12
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can imagine Fiance saying something stupid like this and not meaning it. I don’t know when he’ll be ready, but he’s the one who changed my mind about having kids in the first place, so I know he wants them!

Post # 13
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Untrue.  Darling Husband is totally ready.  Me… not so much.

Post # 14
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

BS. Darling Husband wants kids now, me errr not quite ready!

Post # 16
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Fiance has total baby fever. He’s 28, and wants nothing more than to have a little one around. I’m 24 and would like to wait another 4+ years before we TTC. Who knows, he might convince me otherwise.

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