Post # 1
Oh, my dear husband. Last night we were talking about when I want to try to TTC if I were to land a full time job in the next month. I figured if I get hired by July, then I’ll be covered by insurance by October and we could start trying. I know this is a big if, but planning is the only way I can keep from getting sad that we had to postpone trying.
DH is 37 and I’m 29, so we don’t have a lot of time to waste. Before we got married, we had previously discussed TTC this summer. I could tell he was hesitant to start that soon, but that was before I lost my job anyway.
After I told him my new possible timeline, I could tell he still wasn’t as excited as I hoped he would be. With some further questions, I unearthed the following gem, which sounds like a quote from some dopey sitcom. I’ll paraphrase: Men are never really ready to have a baby. Women are because they are physically supposed to want one by the age of 30. Men are supposed to be freaked out, but when the woman gets pregnant they have to grow up.
Wow! Has anyone else’s SO expressed a similar sentiment? I know he wants kids and I never expected him to think in such a stereotypical way. At least now i know I don’t have to worry about him being “ready” to start trying – he’s never be ready 😉
Post # 3
BS. My husband was ready before me for #1, and he was ready to start trying for #2 within a year (not me!). I have several friends whose husbands were definitely more ready than they were. I think in some ways it is the opposite since the hubby is not the one that has to be pregnant, give birth, etc….its pretty easy for them to be ready, their job in that whole process is fun!
Post # 4
Um, I think he’s allowing society’s expectations of how he should react to make a silly excuse!
My DH and I are planning to be married a few years before we start trying, but not much beyond that (we’re also both in our late 20s). We joke about how we think HE will actually be ready to TTC before I will be – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to have kids and think it will be a huge blessing, but WOMEN are the ones that have to sacrifice our bodies and mental states for the sake of reproduction!
Post # 5
My husband is one of those guys too. He wasn’t raised to think being a parent is a really great thing, and he was definately not a priority to his mom a lot of the time. When it comes to having kids and pregnancy he pretty much went along with it. But once he was a Dad he definately loves our kids and is great with them. Some people just don’t get excited over those things, but they can still be great parents.
Post # 6
I think thats BS!
I agree with the statement, men become fathers when they “see” their baby, and women become mothers when they get pregnant. But I definitly think men can be ready! My Fiance and I have a close friend who is so so happy/ready to be a dad! He doesnt more than the mom sometimes! He loves his daughter and loves doing any “dad” activies.
Post # 7
My husband was ready at 37. If he isn’t ready, don’t do it! Both parents have to be committed to the process. If he became a father and still wasn’t “ready” which happens, that would be terrible.
Post # 8
Well, he’s right about women being ready by 30. As someone who DID NOT want kids at all in my early twenties….this thing called a biological clock started ticking at 27. And scared the crap out of me.
DH knows my history with my ex-H and how I really want one. He wants to make me the happiest woman on the face of the earth by giving me one. He was pushing for it once we sent out our wedding invites.
And just last night, he asked me to get something and forgot to say please…it’s a stupid pet peeve of mine! So I said “what are you gonna do when our kid doesn’t have manners or shows you up by saying you need to say please.” Well then he was talking about how cute our kid would be, how smart they would be, and how he can’t wait to hear them talk….no pressure here!!!
Post # 9
Fiance has baby fever BAD, and I made it all the way to 30 and even beyond a little bit before I decided I’m going to be ready to TTC soon. He jokes that the batteries in my biological clock died 🙁
Post # 10
BS. My hubby was fully on board when we started ttc’ing, and when we suffered a mc in Dec of 2011, he was as hurt, sad, angry and disappointed as I was.
Post # 11
My husband is kind of like the OP. He really wants to have kids one day, but I definitely feel the time pressure more. We are the exact same age (31) so I feel like I really want to get on it and soon. He is fine with our timeline but wouldn’t see a problem with waiting, either. He just really doesn’t think about the age thing, even when I try to explain it.
Then again, he is sure it will happen on the first try, where I may be a little more realistic in that regard!
Post # 12
I can imagine Fiance saying something stupid like this and not meaning it. I don’t know when he’ll be ready, but he’s the one who changed my mind about having kids in the first place, so I know he wants them!
Post # 13
Untrue. DH is totally ready. Me… not so much.
Post # 14
BS. DH wants kids now, me errr not quite ready!
Post # 15
Please don’t misunderstand me, this is meant to be funny. I know for a fact that my DH wants to have kids – this is just his sense of humor. He also said that he was mostly concerned that I would be crabby for 9 months straight!
I like that saying, it sounds like a more elegant version of what my hubby expressed.
Thank you for sharing that. I think my DH will be the same way once the baby is born. Men from his father’s generation were not expected to be as involved with babies as men are today, but his father is certainly a doting grandpa to DH’s niece.
Post # 16
Fiance has total baby fever. He’s 28, and wants nothing more than to have a little one around. I’m 24 and would like to wait another 4+ years before we TTC. Who knows, he might convince me otherwise.