(Closed) DH – “Men are never really ready to have a baby…”

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Lol, DH’s biological clock started ticking long before mine did. 

Post # 18
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

View original reply
@Macintosh:  Okay, I see.  I do have to say that you being crabby for 9 months straight is a legitimate concern for him to have. Tongue Out

Post # 19
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Like others, I call BS on this one. DH was ready when we were TTC or else we wouldn’t have TTC.  Kinda hard to make a baby with only one willing participant, and I wouldn’t have pressured him to try.

I think he is trying associate with the holywood stereotypical guy reaction that he has probably seen a million times over in movies. I call it the “OH CRAP SHE IS PREGNANT”  reaction. When in reality there are a lot more positive reactions in real life.

In my life and circle of friends I do think it takes dads more time then moms for the pregnancy to be “real”.  For most moms or moms to be they bond to their child from the moment of bfp, and for most dads and dads to be I know isn’t wasn’t real until certain milestones in pregnancy (ultrasounds, kicks, final countdowns) that they start to bond on the same level as the mom and it becomes more real… and even then it’s not really the same.

Post # 20
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Wow, all of my sociology classes just flooded back to me regarding stereotypical beliefs about women’s biological make-up and wanting and having children. Woosh!

Anyway, yeah, no, not true. I don’t think anyone is 100% “ready” to have children. There’s just different levels of “ready” for everyone. You’re just farther along than he is. He’s scared and I think he’s trying to disguise it as “Well, I’m being normal because this is how normal men respond to having babies! They freak out and pace in the delivery room and then smoke cigars when the baby is born!” Yeah, extreme example, but you know what I mean (I hope).

Post # 21
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have to disagree, too. DH is definitely ready and tells me so, lol.

Post # 22
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

Not true for us, either. Our almost two years of infertility before IVF worked was just as hard on my husband as me. He took it very, very hard. He is just as excited about me being pregnant as I am!

I think all people are different, both men and women.

Post # 23
Member
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ever since I met my DH he has always talked about having a child.. (we met when he was the age of 31 (I am older than him by a few years).  So yeah that is total BS

Post # 24
Member
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

Hah…another one calling BS here! If anything, now that I’m pregnant, I’m the one freaking out while DH is cool as a cucumber.

Post # 25
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Macintosh:  Maybe your husband doesn’t feel that he’ll actually be “ready” until it happens?  Through his statement, it sounds like he’s saying, “Yes, I’m on board” even though he feels “he’ll never really be ready to have a baby.”

My DH is definitely the opposite of yours.  At times, I think he is more baby crazy than me and talks about our future kids all the time.  I know he will be over the moon when we get our BFP.  He just turned 30 this year and I’m 26.

Post # 26
Member
4581 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

DH is more ready for a baby than I am – or at least he thinks he is!

Post # 27
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

DH had been ready far longer than I had been. On one of our first dates he told me that, “Some guys grew up wanting to be hockey players or fire fighters. I know I was born to be a good dad.” He is over the moon excited for the arrival of our little girl. So I kind of think that sentiment is BS too.

Post # 28
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

No – my husband was more ready than I, was ready earlier than I was, and has adjusted to having kids better than I have. I don’t think its a gender thing – I know a lot of women who aren’t ready yet and their husbands are!

Post # 29
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Nah, actually my SO and I were going to wait for another few months but HE was the one who pushed it up to now.  He said hes tired of waiting and he’s tired of being the only one of his friends who hasn’t started a family. Since both our mothers passed away 3 years ago and I’ve told him my fear of us getting “older” and the little family we have, I think he’s really thought about it and seems very excited!

My SO and I are similar in ages with you, I am 28 and he is 37.  I know what it was like having an older mom(she was 39 when she had me) I love my mom with all my heart, but I was the kid that everyone thought lived with their grandma… lol

Post # 30
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Pssshhh! When my husband and I first started dating he told me he wanted 4 kids!

Post # 31
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmmmm, I tend to disagree…my Fiance wants kids like nobodies business. It’s me that isn’t ready. He practically begs me to start trying. He is really good with kids where I feel awkward.

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