Post # 1
I know we’re not alone in this, but Darling Husband might lose his job. He’s a teacher in an non-required subject. His district is reorgaizing the schools in his district and he’ll likely get cut. There are NO teaching jobs anywhere in our area, and any that pop up would go to teachers they previously cut or someone with less experience than he has who’d get paid less money.
We have an almost 1 year old son. He’s in daycare, so obviously if Darling Husband got cut, we wouldn’t have to continue to pay daycare and DS could be home with Darling Husband, which would be a silver lining. We have some savings, and I might be able to get out of paying my school loans since we’d be a family of 3 on one income. We bought our home almost 2 years ago, but don’t really spend money on non-essential things. We’re pretty frugal.
A few questions for those who have gone through this or have a SO who has:
- How do I keep upbeat and positive until we know for sure?
- How do I support Darling Husband, even though I know inside we are both worrying and stressing out?
Post # 3
@mrstilly: I don’t have any sound advice, but I’m sorry to hear. I hope things work out for you and your family. It’s a shame the way education and teachers have ended up. I was so excited to become a teacher until I learned that there were virtually no jobs for us. 🙁
Post # 4
I’m sorry to hear about your DH’s job situation. My situation is a little different, my H has not been able to find a job since he graduated in August. While unemployment is always hard, men take it worse because they feel like they can’t provide for their family. Try not to bring up the job situation or say things like “since you’re not working can you do X, Y, & Z”. Offer support if he wants to talk, but don’t force it if he doesn’t want to. Even though you obviously have your own anxieties about the situation, try to keep them to yourself so you don’t make him more nervous or sad.
Post # 4
My Fiance just lost his job and I just got a job as a cashier part time so his unemployment is pretty much all we have for the time being. I support him in any way I can just letting him know eventually something will come along if he keeps trying and doesn’t lose hope. He puts in nearly 20 apps a day and he rarely hears anything back so he gets flustrated and sad sometimes too. It’s hard but the 3 of us just lean on each other and he’s had more time to spend with my son so they have had some time to bond through all of this. I just try to keep him positive and he tries to keep me positive just by being there for one another and focusing on what we do have… we also make sure to still have a little fun and not completely dwell on the bad situation- today we took my son to the park since it was nice and warm, the day before we went to the book store and read books together and the day before that we just took a walk around the mall to get out of the house. I guess the little things help.
Post # 4
@mrstilly: I am so very sorry. Is there any possibility about him getting a master’s so that he maybe can teach at a community college?
Post # 5
@beekiss: He does have a master’s degree. In NY it’s a requirement to teach in public schools. There’s not a lot around in his field at the college level, but I know he’ll keep looking.
Post # 6
I don’t know if you’re religious, but I tell non-religious people all the same thing, so I will give you my “usual” advice. PRAY! I hope that he does not lose his job. The ecomony is tough. It is a real shame the way that teachers are treated (like they are commodities) when they are responsible for forming the minds of our most precious gifts, our kids!
You need to encourage him ALOT. Even if you are stressed. Especially if you are stressed. Men thrive on their ability to provide for their families and if he does lose his job, it is going to be a major blow to his ego. He will feel like less of a man for awhile if that makes any sense. You need to be really strong and positive. Remind him how good he is at what he does and have a frank discussion about what else he might do based on another skill set that he posesses. If he gets laid off, he can still supply teach, right? If they let him go, doesn’t he get a package? I know almost all teachers (in Canada anyhow) have a Union behind them and there are packages for a required layoff.
It really is going to be ok. You’re not going to believe me right now, but it always works out the way it is supposed to. You need to trust in that and be strong for your husband, especially if it gets tough.
Money can rip people apart and you don’t want to be in the middle of a rift if he does lose his job. You need to be a stronger team than ever!
That’s the best advice I can give, I hope everything works out.
Post # 7
@mrstilly: I know this is less than ideal, but would relocating be an option at all? I’m so sorry.