DH not on our home loan (kind of long-rant?)

posted 3 years ago in Home
Post # 2
2699 posts
Sugar bee

Purchase the home then have his name placed on the deed and it will belong to BOTH of you. Explain to him that being on the loan alone means that you’re responsible for a 6-figure debt. Why is he so pressed to share that?? LOL! If (God forbid) something goes south down the road and you lose the home, it will ruin YOUR credit, not his and his should be restored by then. This way you guys will always have someone with decent credit to keep you afloat. Win-win. Men and their fragile egos…I tell ya!

Post # 4
1610 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Darling Husband isn’t on our loan either.  We wanted to keep the house we were living in that he owned before me to rent out, so it would have been hard for him to be approved for another mortage, especially since he was self-employeed at the time.  It has been 5 years, and I honestly don’t think he even realizes the difference.  His name is on the deed though.  

Post # 5
1011 posts
Bumble bee

mallorinicole : My guy just purchased us a home and he is the only one on the mortgage, but we’re both on the title. I went to the closing, I had to sign a bunch of papers… it’s our house, not his.

Just put your Darling Husband on the title 🙂

Post # 6
8463 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mallorinicole :  I bought our house before we were married or even engaged. We had been living together in a rental already and so this house was always our home since we moved together. He helped pick the property, but i paid the entire downpayment and according to the registry and the bank I’m the only legal owner. It really doesn’t matter since we both know this is our home. 

Post # 7
9282 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Darling Husband isn’t on my mortgage or deed because i bought the house when we were newly dating.  he doesn’t have an issue with this.

but finances aside, he doesn’t have to be on the mortgage, but you can put his name on the deed.

Post # 8
344 posts
Helper bee

Hope you can work it all out =)

Post # 9
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Kitty79 :  i agree. I had a co-worker who did this and when things got rough it definitely backfired on her. She ended up having to move out to protect her sanity because she legally couldn’t kick him out… yet she’s the only one on the hook for the mortgage (and the fallout) while he got to live gleefully in “his” house rent free for a year until foreclosure. 

You kind of just need to tell Darling Husband to suck it up. Yes, it sucks… But at the same time he needs to grow up and understand that it’s because of how HE managed his credit and at the end of the day a home is what you make it…. Not who’s responsible to pay it. 


Talk to him about both of you refinancing in a few years when his credit is better


Post # 10
1364 posts
Bumble bee

I’d be wary of putting H on the deed but not on the mortgage. My understanding is that then you both jointly own the home, but you are the only one on the hook for the payments if something were to happen. Personally I’d suggest that he work hard to rebuild his credit and you look toward refinancing in a year or two. 

Post # 11
14977 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Kitty79 :  +1.

It’s all great and lovely and “ours”… until it’s not.  I would not open myself to be completely financially screwed like that by taking on the mortgage myself and putting him on the deed unless I had a prenup or legal agreement stating that if we were to split, the house would not get split 50/50 and he would only get 50% of what has been paid off.

Would your rate be higher if he were on the loan too?  Cuase if not, then this could be a good way to raise his credit score too.  Just cause you would use his income and be approved for more, doesnt mean you HAVE to spend more.

Post # 12
344 posts
Helper bee

pinkshoes :   mrstopaz :  Thank you both, I got nervous that my post would upset people so I changed it.  But I totally agree with you both and what I said, I guess I’m just feeling extra wimpy today, LOL, Thanks ladies!!

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