(Closed) DH not sure about timing anymore :(

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@ExcitedScaredBee:  *hugs* that’s tough to hear. I’m really glad to see that you’re going to see a counselor, because you specifically told him that having a family was one of your priorities and he was okay with that. My Darling Husband has a hard time with big changes (and has gotten better with counseling for his own issues). He had a freak-out regarding TTC and his freedoms, etc. but came to the conclusion that he would never be totally “ready” and had to take the bull by the horns. I’m 26 weeks pregnant with twins, and while we have our moments of “OMG this is actually happening!!” it has been handled pretty well.

Other than suggesting you try not to speak to him about it when emotions are high, I don’t have much else for you other than applauding your decision to see a counselor together! Good luck!

Post # 5
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is this a dealbreaker for him?  Maybe find out if it’s fear of all the changes or if it’s truly something he just doesn’t want for his life.  I made it clear to my Fiance that if he ever changed his mind about the kids thing, then our relationship wouldn’t work and we’d have to separate (and that’s true for the future, too – it we get married and he changes his mind, then we’ll have to divorce).  I’m the opposite of you, OP, I don’t ever want kids.  But like you, I feel very strongly about it.  Is this something either of you is willing to walk away from the relationship over?  It sounds like you would if he won’t have kids… but is he willing to walk away if you do insist on having kids?

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