DH sending his little boy to private school.

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

jkrista11 :  Is your ex still in your daughters lives? It doesn’t look right and it looks like favoritism. 

In your husband’s defense, if their dad is still in their lives, he may feel this is a decision you and your ex should make.

It looks crappy on the outside looking in but only you know the dynamics of your blended family. 

You need to tell him if it is bothering you and your daughters. Do you think he should pay for your daughters education, especially if their father is active in their life? 

Post # 4
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I also think its super weird that you refer to your son as his son over and over, it’s like you’re not his parent either.

 

I would be dead against this, you can put your foot down, I absolutely would not stand for this.

Post # 6
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

jkrista11 :  Firstly i’m not sure why my original post was deleted but my point stands regarding the strange way you refer to your son. “his little boy…his son…the kid”

I find it hard to believe this would be the only way in which your husband treats your son better than your daughters.  This is not something I would find attractive in a partner.  Does your husband view the girls as his daughters? You cannot have a hierarchy of children within the same family, you really don’t seem as bothered by this as much as you should be. 

What do you mean he’s ‘no longer involved in their life at all’ yet he visits once or twice a month?

Post # 7
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

jkrista11 :  Does he pay child support? Maybe your DH feels his child support could help cover their education?

It’s obvious he doesn’t see your girls the same as your son.

Post # 8
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

whoswho :  +1 this.

i also think it’s absolutely ridiculous that your daughters are not on the same playing field as your son. Growing up in an similar situation (sans the private school) those girls are going to resent you, your husband, and your son. 

The fact that you havent stood up for the girls, either, is bs. I also don’t like your husband’s mindset on “His boy’s future.” Women deserve educational challenges, too.  

Post # 9
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee

jkrista11 :  Has your husband adopted your daughters?  If not, I don’t think it’s fair for you to expect him to financially provide for them in the same manner as he does for your son.  

Your daughters have a father, and while you and he may both be remarried, he is still their father and the person financially responsible to provide for them.

Just because your daughters live with you and your husband, does not mean he must provide them with private school educations.  That is not his responsibility or duty.

The real issue is that you don’t want your son to go to private school and your husband does.  Don’t conflate it with any other issues, you may have, such as expecting your husband to step up where your ex has not.

Post # 11
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

jkrista11 :  Your repsonses are so odd, you ‘think he really cares for them’? This should be so much more clear cut than thinking he cares for them.  How long have you been married and how old are your children? 

Post # 12
Member
1492 posts
Bumble bee

So you are getting child support? Use that money to send them to private school, if you want. It seems unfair on the surface, but presumably “the boy” has a mother? Or no? I think you and your ex should make educational decisions for your girls, unless your new DH has adopted them.

Post # 14
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I have always assumed that a child’s parents make the decision about where their child goes to school, not the step-parents. I’d be interested to hear what other people do though.

Post # 15
Member
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

This post gets weirder and weirder, you seem so detached from all of your children, its like your Husband ( and i use that term loosely here) is a “dad” but not a father to your daughters, which is appalling.

You don’t really seem to care about <your> daughters, they should be your children, all of them, your daughters should be his daughters. I can’t even get my head round why someone would want to treat children differently just because they didn’t biologically produce them. 

Weird

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