DH sneaks dogs table scraps, feel undermined. Is it a big deal?

posted 12 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think you are over reacting based off of your prior experiences growing up.

I don’t think this is going to be a real issue. You said he doesn’t give the dogs table scraps often, as long as it is not stuff that is toxic to dogs every once in a while getting a tiny piece of something isn’t going to hurt them. If their entire diet consisted of your left overs, yeah not good for them. A tiny bite of something every once in awhile, you’re over reacting bee. Pick  your battles. 

Post # 3
Member
727 posts
Busy bee

Honestly, I’m with you. We have rules for our dog. One of them is no table scraps – dog food and treats only. Begging is an obnoxious habit. Also, we have a breed that is prone to obesity so we carefully measure out his food for each feeding. It would absoutly not be okay with me if my husband was sneaking our dog scraps because 1) I don’t want to deal with a beggar and 2) I want my dog to be as healthy as possible and being overweight seriously dimishes the quality of their lives. 

Post # 4
Member
3604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

anonagrsta :  you’re not overreacting. you two need to get on the same page, otherwise it turns into he’s the “good guy” and you’re the “bad guy” and that’s not cool.

fwiw, table scraps are not necessarily unhealthy for the pups – depends on what you’re eating. human food actually *can* be much healthier than commerical dog food. sure, pizza isn’t good for dogs (but it’s also not healthy for humans..) but some chicken? totally fine.

Post # 5
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I think you’re overreacting a little.  Partners need to be on the same page but both people need to agree the stance.  

and I asked him what are you going to do if we have a child and I say no candy?Are you going to sneak him candy when I’m not looking? Parents have to be on the same page about everything. 

Again, this is the same issue.  Why is it your job to set the rules but your husband’s job to simply follow them without question? 

Post # 6
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

You are not overreacting. By feeding the dogs table scraps, he is reinforcing begging behaviours as well as undermining your authority. Unless they were his dogs before you came into the picture, in which case I’d defer to his authority on dog-related issues.

But you are right that you need to be on the same page, both with human children and with pets. And feeing table scraps is a good way to end up with obese or unhealthy pups.

Fiance and I both agreed when we got our pup that we would never feed him from the table or the counter. Any time that we do give him any human food, we always take it into his area to feed it to him. Never in the kitchen and never at the table. He has learne not to beg at all. He will sit and look at us, but doesn’t make any noise or paw at us.

Post # 7
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

More concerned at how you seem to feel you own all decisions about your future child. Childern are not owned solely by the mom. 

I agree with other posters that you need to pick your battles with this one. 

Post # 8
Member
5922 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m with you on the dog thing. I know we went through this with my husbands parents. They had a dog and only the dad would feed her from the table. They (the brothers and mom) had worked soo hard on her training, and Father-In-Law derailed it quickly. Those are really hard habits to break, and she got increasingly loud and aggressive at the table. 

Post # 9
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

ladyjane123 :  It didn’t come across to me like she thinks she owns her future kids… only that parents (and pet owmers) need to be a team, and it probably makes the most sense for the rules to defer to the one with the more responsible outlook on issues…..

Post # 10
Member
9484 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think it’s a little bit of overreaction but you do have valid concerns. 

Parents do need to be on the same page – but it’s a page they write together not that one dictates and the other follows. So you need to talk and come up with game plans together.

Post # 12
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

I’d be pretty upset about this. I have a yorkie and she is so small that feeding her regular table scraps would make her gain weight so quickly. I also hate begging dogs so it was important to me that she not beg for food. I had her before my fiancé and I got together, but he understood my reasoning and agreed to not feed her any human food. From your post, I don’t know if you decided mutually to not feed your dogs any human food or not. I’d start by examining why you don’t want to feed them any people food, and then discuss those reasons with Darling Husband and see where it goes. I would also bring up your concerns about where this behavior could lead to your future with children and voice your concerns but make sure you have this conversation in an open and understanding manner. Not just you telling him what to do. For what it’s worth, I love feeding other people’s dogs human food even though I don’t feed my own! I always ask beforehand though!!!

Post # 13
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m not necessarily for table scraps, but it’s coming across as you making the rules for him to follow. What if he felt just as strongly that the kid does get candy or the dogs get table scraps?

Like I said, not saying they should or shouldn’t, just that your vote shouldn’t outweigh his on things

Post # 15
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you’re overreacting. If your husband had an issue about “your rule” of no tablescraps (sorry how is this a bad rule to follow?), then he should be an adult and tell you, not sneak behind your back because he didn’t come up with the rule or doesn’t agree with it.

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