(Closed) DH starts his night shift today – I'm sad :(

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

i was the same when my SO started nights , it will get easier i promise And the time you will get to spend together will feel so special . Go out with your friends to the cinemas keep yourself busy xx

Post # 4
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@oracle:  I used to work nights as a bartender and it was really hard on my boyfriend. He’d work a full day at work then come to my bar and sit there all night, dozing off :-/

Post # 5
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ah perspective. You will get used to it, have no fear. I, on the other hand really enjoy the fact that FH and I are on different work schedules. I am alone most nites which is fine with me because I have plenty to keep me busy and I love having “me” time.

Post # 6
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am sure you will get used to it, but it truly does suck!:( I am sorry you have to make this adjustment!

Post # 7
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

It can work… I work days SO works nights. Aside from my occassional crazy shifts I work 6-3 SO works 3-3 so she comes home gets ready for bed as I get up. Its not to bad and we have made a wonderful little ritual of saying goodnight and good morning when we are not together by text its quite fun. Plus it makes the days we have off together even more important. I have some friends who have been doing this for 15 years and still happily married with two children. 

 

You can find fun ways to stay in touch and make sure your days together are special 

Post # 8
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

My husband works overnights, I work 9-5. It was weird at first, but I actually kind of like it now. Basically, we sleep when the other one is working. I get home around 530, he gets up and has coffee, and we hang out and have dinner/breakfast together. He leaves around 10, I go to bed not much later, and sleep while he’s at work. I don’t usually see him in the mornings because he goes to the gym so isn’t home until after I leave, but we talk every morning when I wake up and then usually again when he’s done with the gym and I’m on my way to work. Our evenings are normal, our weekends are fairly normal other than that he takes a nap Saturday mornings so he can be up during the day. Honestly, the nights that he is home I think neither of us sleep as well. (this may be due to the fact that there’s also a 65 pound dog in the bed and the 3 of us just don’t really fit, but she was there before he was and that’s where she sleeps and none of us wants to change it) THe way I think of it is, usually you don’t see your SO when you both are at work, which is the same for us. And when you’re both asleep, you aren’t exactly having quality time or hanging out. So it’s not that different, just that we’re working and sleeping on opposite schedules.

The one downside is that we can’t go out on weeknights… or we can, but of course he has to leave early to put on his uniform and can’t drink before work. But I will sometimes go out with my girlfriends on Fridays, or he’ll hang out until he has to leave and get dressed at work. It just means date nights always happen on Saturdays.

Post # 9
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My husband works varying shifts….most of which are at night. Thank goodness for Netflix! It has gotten me thru some boring nights ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 10
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@oracle:  I am so sorry!  I’d be bummed too!  It’ll make all the nights you do hang out that much sweeter.  What does your H do?

Post # 11
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m so sorry sweetie – Fiance was almost going to have to work second but luckily we were saved from it.  I was anxious as to how to pass time, too, but I thought I would go to the gym, see friends, etc.  Hang in there, it’ll be ok!

Post # 13
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

@oracle:  Just wait a couple of weeks. Then it’ll be you and the dog, he’ll try to get in bed, and you’ll both grumble at him for squishing you. :)Our furkids have a way of claiming any empty space as their own.

And remember, as much as your evenings suck (and they do!) it’s worse for him having to mess with his sleep schedule to try to maximize time with you. Especially if he does what my Darling Husband does and tries to switch back to “normal” on weekends… the man functions on like 3 hours of sleep sometimes and I don’t know how he does it.

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