Post # 1
My DH has been terrible at introducing me to friends and acquaintances alike since day 1. I approached him about it a few years ago, he apologized when it came to important people in his life, but when it came to aquaintances and people he just knows but doesn’t have any kind of relationship with, he claimed he “doesn’t like to throw it into their faces that ‘This is my GF! Look at her!’.” We actually had a spat about that comment in regards to respect for me.
It kind of got better, and I eventually started introducing myself when he chatted up with someone when I was with him. But, then it happened on Saturday night, again. Mind you, again, these were aquantainces, people he just knows. But, there I am, standing there just, “the wife”, that just happens to be tagging along. I thought about just introducing myself again, and maybe I should have, but I thought we gotten passed this. I was having such a good night and didn’t want to ruin it, so I pushed it aside, but its something I want to bring up with him again.
We made a date on June 1 to have another big discussion about our marriage, and to bring anything up that bothers us (we plan to do this at least once a month), so I’m thinking this is something I want brought to the surface again.
Anyway, I’m curious, if any other Bee’s SO’s are the alike with the lack of introductions. If so, have you just started introducing yourself? Have you brought it up? Has it gotten better?
Post # 3
This is always a hot topic in our household too. DH rarely remembers to introduce me, usually the person is awkwardly glancing at me and I’m awkwardly staring at him and DH waiting to be introduced. After maybe TWO years I just started introducing myself. After I open my mouth to say “Hi I’m ___” my DH usually jumps in to finish the introduction. It actually shocks me and catches me off gurad when he DOES introduce me. He tries to remember, but he is very very forgetful–as in I have to put his keys next to his coffee every morning or he will call me at work asking where his keys are. LOL
Post # 4
Oh, that is a huge pet peeve of mine. My ex never introduced me, but in his case it was because he was lacking in social graces, big time. He never got better about it the entire time we were married and it used to bug me a lot. I eventually got over being upset about it and started introducing myself but I never liked having to do it.
Luckily for me now, my Fiance is very polite and has the proper manners to always introduce me when we run into people he knows. So I no longer have this issue.
Try talking to him about it again and let him know it’s important to you to avoid your feeling awkward. Ask how how he would feel in your place if you didn’t introduce him in the same circumstances.
That said, everyone does have different “manners training” when they’re growing up, and I think that’s where a lot of it comes from. I came from a family where everything was very “proper,” from table settings to proper decorum, expected at all times. So it’s probably not that he means to make you feel bad, it might be just how he was raised. Just a thought.
Post # 5
My Fiance was homeschooled. lol He’s not the greatest with small talk or things like introductions. So I introduce myself sometimes. He’s just so laid back, that he forgets. I know it’s not a diss or anything.
Post # 6
Sometimes my DH flakes and doesn’t introduce me, but most of the time he remembers lol.
I would find that kind of frusterating. I don’t think introducing someone counts as bragging.
Post # 7
My husband is usually pretty good at it, but he sometimes forgets.
Post # 8
I was actually the original offender. I would forget to introduce DH to a few people. One time, he said, “Forgive my FI’s manners, but I’m her fiance…nice to meet you.” Once he started making me feel like an idiot in front of people, I never forgot again :o)
Post # 9
Fiance is great with this, but the other side isn’t always greener! The other night after we’d been riding rollercoasters all day, I wore my glasses because I ran out of contacts, and I feel super bloated… his friend’s parents are sitting at the restaurant and he’s all hey guys, this is my FI!!
Post # 10
He doesn’t usually introduce me as, “This is my girlfriend, MissBoPeep.” but he almost always introduces me by name.
Post # 11
He’s a repeat offender on this charge. Most of the time, I just end up introducing myself.
Post # 12
DH has been better at it lately but I think that’s because I ragged on him so much at first when we started dating. There was nothing more awkward than for me to be standing there while he makes small talk and forgets to introduce his fiance or wife…. eye roll….
I’d usually just jump in and introduce myself. Thankfully he’s gotten better.
Post # 13
My DH does this once in a while and it’s so irritating. Yesterday some random guy was behind us in line and started asking him about Graduate School and the baby while I’m standing there not knowing who the Hell this guy is. It turns out it was one of his favorite professors that I met last Summer, but had forgotten. I felt like a lump on a log:(He could have reminded me or something, “My Name, this is Dr. so and so…you met him last summer…”
Post # 14
DH does this all the time, and I find it funny! I don’t know why, but it’s never bothered me. It’s not like he’s doing it intentionally — he just forgets sometimes that I don’t know everyone he does. I don’t find it disrespectful in any way, though.
Post # 15
My husband has actually been really good about this. Since we’ve moved up here, he’s introduced me almost every time we see someone from his work. The only time he didn’t was at the store when he was talking to two guys. One of them finally introduced himself and when they left, my husband immediately apologized and said he didn’t do an introduction because he couldn’t remember one of their names (he did know the name of the guy who introduced himself).
Post # 16
Thanks, gals. Glad to hear that I’m not the only one. I have had some people introduce themselves before DH or I could, sometimes saying “You must be, farmerswife, I’m So&So”, but those are few and far between.
I’m not sure if its how he was raised, since when I happened to be just with his Mother-In-Law or SIL, they would ALWAYS introduce me. I think in his mind, he doesn’t care about other people’s SO’s, so why should they care about his? And that was different when we were just dating and who knew if I’d be around tomorrow, but now that we’re married, in my mind anyway, its a bit different. We’re a unit now, socially and emotionally, and I think I’m more important now! lol.