Post # 1
So a little background…I moved out with Darling Husband and his beloved dog about a year ago. I’ve never been a dog person but I’ve had many cats. So after this long Darling Husband finally let me have a kitten cuz he knows how much I missed having a cat. I’ve had her for about 2 weeks now and slowly the dog and cat are getting to know each other. Of course the kitten still hisses at the dog (our dog is 3 yrs old and 60 lbs) but so far things are improving.
Today the kitten was on the coffee table and the dog went up to her face and starting sniffing her, the kitten backed away and hissed a bit but then continued on doing her own thing. I looked away and it sounded like the dog growled and tried to bite her so my immediate reaction was to spank the dog on the butt and Darling Husband grabbed the kitty and put in the bedroom. Darling Husband then got pissed and said “we’re giving the cat away” i asked why and he said “cuz she’s dumb.” It really hurt my feelings cuz this is the second time that he has threatened to give her away because the kitten isn’t getting along with the dog as quickly as he would like. I keep telling him to be patient but I feel like this is going to cause many problems in the future. Darling Husband said it was the kitten that hissed really loud so it wasn’t the dogs fault. I apologized because I guess I could’ve been wrong cuz I didn’t see exactly what happened.
So I went off in the bedroom in tears because I know if we got rid of the kitten I would resent Darling Husband and I don’t want that to happen. But I also don’t want this to become “well YOUR cat did this and did that.” Darling Husband spoils the dog so much and never gets upset but if the kitten does something he wants to get rid of her. He always says that he doesn’t mean what he says about the cat but deep down I think that’s how he really feels.
I don’t know what to do but i’m really sad right now 🙁
Post # 3
My parents got 4 kittens…yes, 4….they dog sit my dog once a week….mind you, ruby LOVES cats and has one of her own that she raised from 6 weeks…..
She would get SUPER excited when she went to their house. She would shake, whine, and herd all the kittens in the same room….they would hiss, spit, and swat at her (which was funny cause they were so tiny)….
fast forward a couple of months: they are fine….they cuddle with ruby, try to play with her tail….no hissing, no swatting, nothing…..they just love each other…and these are kittens that only see her once a week……
You just need to give it time…..kittens are tiny, they won’t HURT the dog, and yes, if the dog growls at the cat you NEED to discipline….ruby growled and snapped at her own kitten not long ago (she was tired and cranky and the cat was bugging her) but I still yelled at her, held her face in my hands as I did so, and made her get off the couch)….since dogs can do way more damage you DO have to be careful…..
I really hope you work this out…..we got ruby when we had our old cat (she was about 15 when we got the dog) and they were fine together, and I totally believe the cat stayed alive for another 2 years just to make sure the dog was properly disciplined…lol….in the end ruby would bathe her regularly to keep her clean(er) since she could not do it herself…..so it CAN work if you let it
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I’m sorry you feel badly. I think your Darling Husband needs to calm down. 2 weeks is not nearly long enough for a cat and dog to get along. I have a dog and Fiance has a cat…I moved in about 9 months ago (but did have the cat for a month last fall when Fiance was underway with his ship), so the two animals have had time to get along. At first, they regarded each other cautiously, and the cat stayed hidden. My dog never really attacked her but he is really playful and likes to chase her (I think she instigates it most of the time). Anyway, after all the time, finally this week, she decided to get cozy with him….
Post # 5
If FH threatened to get rid of my animals, i’d tell him where to stick it. My dog fights with his dog sometimes, but she’s family and even though he’d never tell me to get rid of her, if he did i’d let him know in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t get to tell me what to do with my dog! Then i’d suggest that he get rid of HIS pet, seeings how he’s the one with the problem.
Post # 6
I think he needs to relax. They are both still adjusting to each other. Plus, who cares if she hisses at him? It doesn’t hurt anything and if the dog doesn’t like it, maybe that will teach him to stay away.
Post # 7
Give it time. Darling Husband brought home me a kitten for our 1 year anniversary (our dog was 7 months,a really big dog.). The first month or so it took them getting used to each other, now she sleeps on the dog bed with him…last october, we rescued an older cat (she was 2) that was declawed & had nowhere to go…she would swat at our dog & hiss at him, she sometimes still does but mostly growls.
now he says he HATES the little kitty that he brought me as our anniversary gift But says he loves the rescue cat….i know he doesnt mean it lol but he says stuff like he wishes he never brought her, she’s so bad, etc..i just let them roll off of my shoulder because most nights they sit on the couch next to each other….i think he will come around (:
Post # 8
I have four dogs. When we decided to keep a kitten we had found, we had her separated from the dogs so they could gradually get used to each other. We started with her in a room with the door closed (DH’s home office where he worked during the day). Then we had a baby gate in the hallway. We raised the gate so the kitten could get under and wander around the house, but the dogs couldn’t get in “her” area. Eventually we took the gate down, and everybody gets along just fine.
Post # 9
I’m sorry 🙁
I would say that two weeks isn’t really enough time for them to get along. However, the dog, if it hadn’t been raised with cats, may never like the cat and I would warn you about just letting the dog be around the cat freely. You would never want the dog to get a hold of her and something to happen because they weren’t properly supervised until they got really used to each other, especially because it is so big.
I’m not saying that you are a bad owner, so please don’t be offended by my suggestion, but it is obvious that you really love your kitty and want the dog and her to get along, so I think you might be letting them to have too much freedom before they are ready.
ETA: we did something like the poster above us. We had a baby gate up so she could escape when she needed a break from the dogs and gradually the dogs began to get the idea that they needed to be gentle and more calm with cats than with other dogs.
Post # 10
I don’t think you can put the two animals together and just expect them to get along, it will take longer than that. Perhaps get some books (currently I am reading, Your Cat, the Owners Manual by Marty Becker) about how to socialize cats and dogs. It can be a slow process but worth it in the end, when they learn to get along.
Ad if Darling Husband gets rid of the cat, the dog can go too!
Post # 11
@kryssbride: I think I’d get rid of him instead.
Post # 12
A pet isn’t disposable. Next time he says he’s getting rid of the kitten, show him where the door is.
Post # 14
We just got a cat and its taken a few days for her relationship to evolv with our puppy but it has and its getting better all the time.
Tell him to be patient.
Post # 15
Your Darling Husband is being a total jerk. Where does he get off threatening to get rid of your pet? That is really childish and he needs to get over it.
Post # 16
This is not ok. You Darling Husband is acting like a controlling child. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it is what it is. I think the other posters gave you really good advice re: the dog and cat.
What I’m concerned about, is does your Darling Husband act like this about other things? How does he act when he doesn’t get his way, generally? (Or does he always get his way?) I’m asking because threatening, and demeaning things you care about, while not NECESSARILY a sign of control and abuse, COULD BE. Does he usually give such banal reasons when you question him?
If I were you, I’d also be really upset that Darling Husband would think he could talk to me and treat me and other living things with such blatant disregard. His @$$ would be on it’s way to counseling faster than he could say “I’m sorry.”