(Closed) DH threatened to get rid of my kitten again :(

posted 7 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013


My parents got 4 kittens…yes, 4….they dog sit my dog once a week….mind you, ruby LOVES cats and has one of her own that she raised from 6 weeks…..

She would get SUPER excited when she went to their house.  She would shake, whine, and herd all the kittens in the same room….they would hiss, spit, and swat at her (which was funny cause they were so tiny)….

fast forward a couple of months:  they are fine….they cuddle with ruby, try to play with her tail….no hissing, no swatting, nothing…..they just love each other…and these are kittens that only see her once a week……

You just need to give it time…..kittens are tiny, they won’t HURT the dog, and yes, if the dog growls at the cat you NEED to discipline….ruby growled and snapped at her own kitten not long ago (she was tired and cranky and the cat was bugging her) but I still yelled at her, held her face in my hands as I did so, and made her get off the couch)….since dogs can do way more damage you DO have to be careful…..

I really hope you work this out…..we got ruby when we had our old cat (she was about 15 when we got the dog) and they were fine together, and I totally believe the cat stayed alive for another 2 years just to make sure the dog was properly disciplined…lol….in the end ruby would bathe her regularly to keep her clean(er) since she could not do it herself…..so it CAN work if you let it

Post # 4
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I’m sorry you feel badly.  I think your Darling Husband needs to calm down.  2 weeks is not nearly long enough for a cat and dog to get along.  I have a dog and Fiance has a cat…I moved in about 9 months ago (but did have the cat for a month last fall when Fiance was underway with his ship), so the two animals have had time to get along.  At first, they regarded each other cautiously, and the cat stayed hidden.  My dog never really attacked her but he is really playful and likes to chase her (I think she instigates it most of the time).  Anyway, after all the time, finally this week, she decided to get cozy with him….

Post # 5
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

If FH threatened to get rid of my animals, i’d tell him where to stick it. My dog fights with his dog sometimes, but she’s family and even though he’d never tell me to get rid of her, if he did i’d let him know in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t get to tell me what to do with my dog! Then i’d suggest that he get rid of HIS pet, seeings how he’s the one with the problem.

Post # 6
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think he needs to relax. They are both still adjusting to each other. Plus, who cares if she hisses at him? It doesn’t hurt anything and if the dog doesn’t like it, maybe that will teach him to stay away.

Post # 7
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Give it time. Darling Husband brought home me a kitten for our 1 year anniversary (our dog was 7 months,a really  big dog.). The first month or so it took them getting used to each other, now she sleeps on the dog bed with him…last october, we rescued an older cat (she was 2) that was declawed & had nowhere to go…she would swat at our dog & hiss at him, she sometimes still does but mostly growls.

now he says he HATES the little kitty that he brought me as our anniversary gift But says he loves the rescue cat….i know he doesnt mean it lol but he says stuff like he wishes he never brought her, she’s so bad, etc..i just let them roll off of my shoulder because most nights they sit on the couch next to each other….i think he will come around (:

Post # 8
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have four dogs.  When we decided to keep a kitten we had found, we had her separated from the dogs so they could gradually get used to each other.  We started with her in a room with the door closed (DH’s home office where he worked during the day).  Then we had a baby gate in the hallway.  We raised the gate so the kitten could get under and wander around the house, but the dogs couldn’t get in “her” area.  Eventually we took the gate down, and everybody gets along just fine.

Post # 9
3198 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sorry 🙁

I would say that two weeks isn’t really enough time for them to get along. However, the dog, if it hadn’t been raised with cats, may never like the cat and I would warn you about just letting the dog be around the cat freely. You would never want the dog to get a hold of her and something to happen because they weren’t properly supervised until they got really used to each other, especially because it is so big.

I’m not saying that you are a bad owner, so please don’t be offended by my suggestion, but it is obvious that you really love your kitty and want the dog and her to get along, so I think you might be letting them to have too much freedom before they are ready. 

ETA: we did something like the poster above us. We had a baby gate up so she could escape when she needed a break from the dogs and gradually the dogs began to get the idea that they needed to be gentle and more calm with cats than with other dogs. 

Post # 10
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you can put the two animals together and just expect them to get along, it will take longer than that. Perhaps get some books (currently I am reading, Your Cat, the Owners Manual by Marty Becker) about how to socialize cats and dogs. It can be a slow process but worth it in the end, when they learn to get along.

Ad if Darling Husband gets rid of the cat, the dog can go too!

Post # 11
2080 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@kryssbride:  I think I’d get rid of him instead.

Post # 12
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@greenidlady:  +1.

A pet isn’t disposable. Next time he says he’s getting rid of the kitten, show him where the door is.

Post # 14
2486 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We just got a cat and its taken a few days for her relationship to evolv with our puppy but it has and its getting better all the time.

Tell him to be patient.

Post # 15
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Your Darling Husband is being a total jerk.  Where does he get off threatening to get rid of your pet?  That is really childish and he needs to get over it.

Post # 16
3571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsFuzzyFace:  +1


This is not ok. You Darling Husband is acting like a controlling child. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it is what it is. I think the other posters gave you really good advice re: the dog and cat.

What I’m concerned about, is does your Darling Husband act like this about other things? How does he act when he doesn’t get his way, generally? (Or does he always get his way?) I’m asking because threatening, and demeaning things you care about, while not NECESSARILY a sign of control and abuse, COULD BE. Does he usually give such banal reasons when you question him? 

If I were you, I’d also be really upset that Darling Husband would think he could talk to me and treat me and other living things with such blatant disregard. His @$$ would be on it’s way to counseling faster than he could say “I’m sorry.”

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