Post # 1
Oh bees, sometimes I just shake my head with what my Darling Husband comes out with.
We have had some issues in the bedroom, and are working on becoming more sexually active. We currently use the witdrawal method as I don’t agree with hormonal BC and with our sex issues Darling Husband will often lose his erection in the process of putting on a condom.
Anyway, last night he ejaculated inside me. This morning while making breakfast I said that he needed to be more careful and he looked at me and smiled and said “the way I see it is, we aren’t trying, but if it happens in happens. I’d love to have a baby”
Um… That is generally a decision couples make together buddy! He meant no ill intent behind what happened, sex is pretty new and exciting for us again and I know he just got excited but my gosh.
The funniest thing of this is that Darling Husband always tells me that I need to communicate better. Me? If you want to have a baby you should discuss it with me before impreganating me!
Post # 3
@dannielle89: I know what you are saying – but you should also consider the fact that when you are not using any form of birth control, its a risk youre taking. Pulling out is just about as ineffective as ejaculating inside and should not be considered a “method.”
Post # 4
@GingerSweepea: It’s actually no where near as ineffective, if done properly and with good control.
@dannielle89: That is something my Darling Husband would have done… men
Post # 5
@abc123joanna: I am going by the studies I have read in my Human Sexuality course in Uni…. Although it CAN work, it is still fairly ineffective due to pre-ejaculate and lack of other form of birth control
Post # 6
@GingerSweepea: The pull-out method almost rivals condoms when done correctly (ie: no “oopsies” like OP had!) so that statement is false.
Post # 7
@dannielle89: If you don’t want to be pregnant, can’t abide hormones, and your hubby can’t keep it up when wearing a condom, you might want to consider a copper IUD. They’re non-hormonal and extremely effective in preventing conception. Otherwise, if y’all are having unprotected sex and he’s okay with not pulling out in time (as he proved last night), I predict you’ll be preggers within the year!
Post # 8
@NotTheDoctor: I am simply stating what I have read in APA journals through my studies, my statement is not false. I had mentionned that it CAN work, however can be ineffective due to pre ejaculate…. that is not false – it is common sense. I just dont want anyone getting knocked up because they are ill-informed. YES pulling out CAN work, however should not be used as a sole form of BC.
Post # 9
@GingerSweepea: I worked perfectly for us for a full year. Then we had completely unprotected a few times and I got pregnant. I am fertile and somehow it worked for us.
My BFF had the same experience. If the man is skilled at timing, it will work.
Post # 10
@mamadingdong: yup. Worked for 4 years for us to the point where I wondered if we had fertility issues. But nope! I got pregnant the first time.
Post # 11
Pulling out is just about as ineffective as ejaculating inside and should not be considered a “method.”
You read this in a peer-reviewed medical journal? I think not. I have a (biology-based) neuroscience degree and have also read a ton of scientific articles on the subject – since it’s the method my SO and I use. Don’t pull the “I went to college, so there” attitude, it’s yucky. I don’t disagree that people who want to 100% guarantee that they don’t conceive should not solely use this method, but all methods except abstinence are fallible.
Post # 12
@dannielle89: First of all-I agree with you 100%. Trying to have a baby together when your main method of BC is the pull out method, well, you have to be VERY careful and if he wants a baby he should be vocal so the two of you can talk about it.
2nd of all-and bear with me here-his statement is kinda sweet and compassionate. I am in a relationship where I am on the pill, we use protection and pull out depending on the heat of the moment…and my SO has made it very clear that he if an accident happens, he would expect me to terminate the preganacy, and makes constant comments that ‘women set up men all the time’. hmmm. It’s been 3 years and I do somewhat share my SO’s views on having a baby out of wedlock (many stories in my family exist of women getting pregnant on purpose to trap men, that maybe the men didn’t even want to be with them UGH), however, if I were to get pregnant on accident, because the TWO of us were having consentual sex, well, I would be afraid to tell him because he woult NOT be as easy going as your Darling Husband.
I am not saying that your Darling Husband is right in his approach-or that my advice is right or anything-but I would think that having a man in my life who might say ‘this is okay if it happens, I love you, let’s deal with it then’ is better than ‘women set up men, don’t have an accident…’ which causes WAY more anxiety for me if I am even 3 HOURS late hahahaha.