DH traveling when I'm 36 weeks pregnant – too risky… or perfectly reasonable?

posted 1 year ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Is there anyone that can stay with you and help while your husband attends the wedding? 

Post # 4
Member
5923 posts
Bee Keeper

Can someone come stay with you? Mom or sibling? I would absolutely want my husband to go, but I think wanting some help for the week is totally acceptable. Even if you had a hired babysitter so you can do errands a bit easier. 

Post # 5
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

How long is the flight? In just wondering how quickly he could get back to you if you were to go into labour early. 

I get that you want to avoid drama but to me it sounds like it will be really difficult for you with two toddlers, a new house, and being in your third trimester…

Will you be at work during the day? It doesn’t sound like you will have anyone close by to help you out. 

Post # 6
Member
11909 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Side eying your Darling Husband a bit here, as he shouldn’t be leaving this on you. His sister made a choice that works for her family, now Darling Husband has to make the choice that works for his. 

That means, with 2 young children and a pregnant wife in a new town, he stays home.

Post # 7
Member
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

How long is the trip??  If it’s more than a couple days (likely, since it’s a foreign country), I wouldn’t be happy.  What if the baby comes early?  My sister had a completely complication-free, easy pregnancy – and then she suddenly went into labor and delivered the baby 5 weeks before her due date.  Her husband had to go out of town for 4 days just a couple days after the birth, and it sucked.  And they don’t have any other kids, either – that makes it so much riskier!

My fi is going to be gone for a weekend when I’m 36 weeks pregnant, but it’s literally just Saturday-Sunday, so NBD.

Post # 8
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Yup, He needs to stay home. The last weeks of pregnancy can be really hard and early labor can happen to anyone. It happened to me at 36 weeks with no warning. You’re supposed to carry for 2 toddlers all by yourself when your Darling Husband is being a tourist and having fun with his dad? Absolutely not. And he needs to make it clear to his family, you’re not the bad guy here and he needs to have your back. Anything less is unacceptable.

Post # 9
Member
329 posts
Helper bee

The only way this would work for me was if I could stay with my parents or if a close friend, or my mom or someone I trusted could stay with me for the week to help me out. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay alone during that time with 2 young children. 

Post # 10
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

If you have someone that can come help you for a few days, then I think your husband should absolutely go. It’s his sister. He should probably fly in the day before and out the day after, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect him to skip his sister’s wedding.

Post # 11
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

BalletParker :  completely agree with this. He stays home! She knew in advance of the situation and made plans to the contrary, NO ONE should be angry if he stays with you, you could easily develop complications meaning you might even be bed bound with two children

Post # 12
Member
1195 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I mean, they decided to set their date knowing well in advance you wouldn’t be able to attend and they shouldn’t be expecting him to leave his heavily pregnant wife with two small children to run around after. I’d be wanting him to stay home with me. It would be alright if you had someone who could come and stay with you during that time and he was only gone for the wedding but if there’s no alternative… I don’t think he should go.

Post # 13
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

Miss Mochaccino :  Oh gosh, 36 weeks pregnant and alone with 2 small kiddos sounds awful. On top of that, I wouldn’t want him to go in case baby came early. (I have several friends that their 1st and 2nd kids came late but 3rd surprised them at 36/37 weeks). It does bite that it means missing his sister’s wedding.

Post # 14
Member
8724 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Miss Mochaccino :  Can he take the kids with him? Honestly, I would appreciate a kid-free week by myself. He and the tots can see family and have fun in a foriegn country while I prepare for #3 and enjoy some me time. Win-win. He should definitely get trip insurance though in case he needs to high-tail it back home early.

Post # 15
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

In our family, I bend over backwards to let D.H. spend time with his friends and family, and he’d do the same for me if I was close with my family and my friends lived closer by. So if this was me I’d tell him to go.

But. I am not in an unfamiliar town, I have neighbors I could call on in an emergency, I’ve never gone into labor early, my own family lives half an hour away, and D.H.’s family are not horrible types who would poison my peace of mind over a totally reasonable decision.

Also, if your husband were to go, who could you leave the kids with if you go into labor in the middle of the night?

In other words, I think he should stay home, or at most go for the day of the wedding and head back.

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