- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
So first I must say I am a regular posting bee here, but due to the fact that my Darling Husband knows I post on here and all, I chose to discuss this anonymously. So first a little history, earlier this month I stopped my BC, we both made the decision that I should stop due to many reasons, my emotions (I was kinda depressed), my lack of any sexual drive (which was new since starting my BC and something that Darling Husband had also noticed), and my weight gain/loss issues. So after stopping my BC my sexual drive skyrocketed. We went from us having sex once a week/everyother week to almost daily. This has only been a couple weeks so far.
Well the other day Darling Husband didn’t want to have sex when I did, but he chose to tell me by asking me “are you just hornier because now you could get pregnant?” Which of course hurt me, and def, turned me off, and I of course denied, and told him I was just hornier because I was feeling that way. I stopped BD, but we are still using condoms, which are also an effective BC, so…
Well then he started beating himself up, and proceeded to have some verbal diarrhea, putting his foot even further in his mouth, he was basically to the hip when he finally stopped. Once I calmed down some we talked and I assured him I wasn’t mad about him not wanting to have sex, merely hurt with what he had said and that things would work out.
A couple days go by, and things are starting to feel more normal again except I haven’t been as turned on as before, and so haven’t wanted to have sex, and he tells me lastnight that he ruined our sex life and that he should have just shut up and had sex even though he didn’t want any that night. I’ve tried, and I can’t convince him that he hasn’t messed up. And due to this fact, I’m now unsure of what to do.
I’m almost afraid to initiate because what if he’s just going along with it to make me happy, and he really doesn’t want to have sex, and at the same time, I feel like if I say no, he’s going to take that as me not being over it and upset about the whole situation, which I’m honestly over now. I just don’t know how to convince him that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to have sex to say no, just like if I say no I’m just not feeling up to it, and that I”m not saying no because I’m mad. Any suggestions??
Whew, that was kinda long, sorry about that, but thanks for reading.