(Closed) DH turned down sex, and now thinks he messed up! Long

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why don’t you ease into it slowly again… have some romantic time (date) one night and rebuild from there. Ease back into like say, oral for the night and nothing more and keep it going like that and hopefully eventually that will open the door again?  It’s really difficult when sex drives change, it just takes some adjustment and honest non-hurtful communication.

And I’m sorry if you feel hurt by it and for what your Darling Husband said!  But when you go from twice a month to daily, this sometimes happens.  Just communicate better and take it slow.

Post # 5
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think you should talk to him & let him know if he’s not in the mood, that’s okay. You want him to be honest. Tell him you’re not upset about him not wanting it, but about what he said. That his words were what hurt you. I would talk things through with him, about what he said & why it hurt. That’s what I’d do at least. Darling Husband also says “he ruined things” when he says something that upsets me/ turns me off. It helps if I talk to him & explain that he didn’t ruin stuff but when he said “THIS” it upset me because “of this…” & that is how we work through stuff most of the time.

Post # 7
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee

Um this might come from little inexperienced me, but I think you guys should just do. Even if you scared if hes just doing it to please you, I think it might just break the akward ice (so to speak) and then afterwards you guys can discuss it in those happy blissful moments afterwards.

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