(Closed) DH wants his good female friend to be Godmother..but I can't stand her!

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

There wouldn’t be room in my marriage for a so-called “friendship” like this one. That seems to be the bigger issue. And I’m sorry, a 7 year friendship isn’t much time at all. AND she hates you and treats you disrespectfully. Why hasn’t your husband already put an end to this?

You need to stick up for yourself, girl. Tell him exactly why none of this is okay, lay down the law on the godparent thing and let him know in no uncertain terms that his relationship with her is not appropriate if it doesn’t include BOTH of you.

Post # 18
Hostess
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsSmokey:  This is a decision that needs to be mutual. This is your child together, and as such the person who looks after your child if anything were to happen needs to be liked by the both of you. 

Post # 19
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsSmokey:  You tell him the truth. She has NEVER been nice to you, it is RUDE for her to have dinner with him alone, and you are NOT comfortable making her a godmother.

And, if he does, she will NOT have your baby alone and he WILL NOT take this baby around this woman without you. And when you do go, you let her know firmly YOU are the child’s mother.

Post # 20
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsSmokey:  If she doesn’t like you and is unpleasant to you, then no way should she be the godmother. It is a joint decision and someone who is important to both of you, not just one of you. I wouldn’t approve of this relationship continuing at all. I also know my Fiance wouldn’t remain friends with someone who didn’t respect or like me.

Post # 21
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee

I’m gonna go ahead and defend his female friend, only because I was once in this very situation. I was a friend of a male person, and his girlfriend loathed me. She accused me of being mean to her, and I wasn’t. Eventually she made him choose, and he chose her, and she went ahead cut him off from ALL of his female friends (even though he was just supposed to be cut off from me). 

I definitely agree that the godmother thing needs to be something you BOTH agree on. No ifs, ands, or buts.

But as far as him having a female friend, I don’t see any problem with that. Who cares if all she does is have dinners and complain about people? Is that what you’re really upset about? Or are you more upset about the godmother issue? You’re his wife. You clearly won that battle 😉 

Post # 22
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with PPs.  You totally should have veto over this.  I do get “those women” who can’t get along with other women.  While some women are catty, a women who finds ALL women catty and can’t get along with any women should not be trusted.

Post # 24
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

I agree with PPs who say you just need to be firm on this. The Godparent is in theory someone you trust to raise your child in case something happens to both of you, and to support you in raising them the rest of the time.

I think that it’s fine to have these delineated boundaries – she’s your husband’s friend, you steer clear – but she absolutely shouldn’t be in the running for Godparent if she’s not close to both of you.

 

I hope you manage to resolve the situation! 🙂

Post # 25
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Jesus. As soon as someone has a friend of the opposite sex, it’s like everyone instantly assumes something is going on O.O

I hope you don’t let those responses make you paranoid. She just sounds like a bitch, she doesn’t sound like she wants to steal away your husband.

I do agree that each parent gets veto power. If either of you disapproves, the person in question is out. I’d just tell him no, that you don’t want her to be the godmother. I’m sure he wouldn’t go against your wishes. If he DOES, I’d let him know that he’ll be the one to tell her that actually, she’s not the godmother. That’d be an awkward conversation to have. I hope he is sticking up for you when she’s nasty to you!

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