DH wants office and man cave

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Is the "man cave" a must?

    No, this is a house not a college dorm

    If there is enough room for a living room, fam room and man cave

    Yes, men should absolutely get a man cave

  • Post # 91
    7 posts
    • Wedding: November 2017

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    calliekalico2 :  What does he do for a living? I know sometimes people have patients or clients that come to the house so if thats the case, a man cave/office might not be able to work. If he doesn’t have any clients or anything, can he have a nook or something with a desk. My husband and I are building a home and will most likely build a desk off the kitchen sorta like a home management system so we don’t have to use a bedroom for a office. 

    If you all don’t have the space to compromise, what about the garage (if you have one) as the mancave? I’m not sure of the climate you live in, but if you live in a sunny area, you can park your cars outside and he can hook up a TV or something.

    Either way, I think it’s important for you to compromise and make sure that this new home feels like a family home rather than you make all the decisions. thats just going to lead to resentment.

    Post # 92
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I would absolutely give my husband a man cave! I don’t see why the third bedroom can’t be a office and spare room in one? I mean have a bed, nightstand and a computer in there! And the den..let him pick the theme and u can tastefully design it! 

    Post # 93
    3343 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

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    keyonce2016 :  He wants *2* rooms all to himself (office–for no reason, PLUS a man cave)  and d.g.a.f. that she gets *0*. He told her the “nursery” will be her room!…. Said she was being “shrewish” and now he is “sulking” because he can’t have *both* rooms for himself…

    I agree with others, he is selfish….and childish.

    Post # 94
    18 posts
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m an introvert. I like privacy and sometimes I NEED alone time.  I have no problem giving my man a “cave” because I know I would always be welcome in there. Are you not welcome in his den or cave? My husband plays video games and sometimes records stuff so I would want him to have his own room to do that but as long as you are welcome to go in, I don’t see the big deal. Technically, he only needs one room though. Two seems a little excessive. Also he shouldn’t be demanding rooms and sulking about it. Maybe he should have the nursery and you should get a woman cave and a den, because he sounds like a big baby.

    Post # 95
    94 posts
    Worker bee

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    calliekalico2 :  HOLY. I am all for men getting their “space” in a house b/c honestly between kitchens, sitting rooms, bathrooms with spa baths & double vanities,  and bedrooms w huge walk in closets and of course extra bedrooms to be used as nurseries – there are a lot female dominated spaces these days. And yes, that is a huge generalization and 1950s that kitchen and nursery are female areas, i know. I watch a ton of HGTV so I’m not completely off base here. But your husband is a little out of bounds with the office & man cave being seperate… especially considering it’s a 3rd bedroom he wants to use as an office and a den he wants as man cave. If he worked from home, I would be more sympathetic to his cause but this is ridiculous. My husband is a die hard fan of his college team and his dad is alumni too so he has memoribilia dating back to the 1970s, so we’ve already decided – together – that any bonus room will be used as his man cave for all his college stuff. Frankly, the way he watches sports he will need an isolated room for himself 🙂

    Post # 96
    119 posts
    Blushing bee

    My fiance and I both work 100% remote. From home, all the time. Neither of us have a home office – I work in the living room, and he works at a desk in the bedroom. I also asked him if he ever felt the need for a man cave, and he said maybe he’d like a garage. I asked him what he’d do in the garage, and he said work on cars. I clarified, would he like a space that’s separate from mine, and totally his to just “be a guy” in? He was so confused. I’m marrying the right guy 🙂 OP, your husband sounds unreasonable and selfish.

    Post # 97
    506 posts
    Busy bee

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    camenae :  I was doing the same thing.


    op, your man needs to man up. 

    Post # 98
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t understand man caves. if my partner gets his room then im getting my room. why does man need their own special space? they can participate making the house the way they want. if wife can’t compromise then there are problems in the marriage. office is understandable if needed. but the idea that man needs a space to go do who knows what while rest of the house belongs to the woman is just wrong.

    Post # 99
    3923 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    calliekalico2 :  Your husband needs to grow up. He gets an office/man cave. He doesn’t get several rooms in the house for him to “theme” them at will. Does he even have a job that will necessitate an office? DH works on computers a lot and games. He has a room that is part office, part “man cave” although neither of us like that ridiculous term. That is basically where he goes to work and hangout. If he had asked for an office AND the use of our den EXPLICITLY for him, I’d absolutely decline.

    Even in the scenario you’ve provided (where the room is a guest bedroom), I still don’t see YOU utilizing the space, meaning he’s still winning with combo man cave/office. 

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