Post # 1
Okay, so, my husband works with this girl who I believe is single. She goes to the same college I do, and we believe we have the same professor, just on different days. He said she was bummed that we didn’t have a class together, because we could have been study buddies. He told me he believes she may play video games (she’s asked him random questions about what X-Men he would be, etc.). DH and I LOVE our video games. We met on a video game, in fact.
My DH told me that he wanted her to come over to play Nintendo 64 with us one day, because he thinks we’d really get along. I moved from Vegas, and I have no lady friends other than people I go to work and school with. Those women I encounter never want to do anything outside of work or school, and quite frankly, I’m a very busy woman! Him and his friends are always telling me women will be at get togethers that we go to, so I can make lady friends. I believe he wants to invite her over because he feels it will give me a chance to make a lady friend.
HOWEVER, does it seem strange for a married man to ask his single female co-worker to come play video games with him and his wife? I have never met her before in my life, just heard of her. He doesn’t want to bring any other friends over, because they can be insensitive and use lots of profanity. We wouldn’t want her to get upset, but I would think that would make the situation more awkward if we didn’t “click”. Since she’s never met me, could she possibly take the invitation of coming over to our house in a way that might creep her out, or think my husband is coming onto her?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Meet somewhere in public first before inviting her into your home. Also, keep an eye on her because she may be flirting with him.
Post # 4
I don’t really think it’s all that weird. He likes this girl (in a totally platonic way) and he thinks you’d like her too, so he wants to invite her over to do something all three of you would enjoy.
What if the situation were reversed – you knew someone of the male variety from school, you got along, and you thought your DH would like him too?
Post # 5
My hubby also tries to set me up on friend dates with women he knows. I think it’s because he thinks that we may get to be friends. Honestly, I don’t see it any different then when women set their husbands up on man-dates or other husbands of the girlfriends we hang out with. Same thing.
However, I would try to feel her out and see if it may be an issue. I think if you’re not sure, invite another single guy over or if she has a friend/bf then invite him as well. It will prob make you more comfortable. 🙂
Post # 6
I honestly don’t see a problem with inviting her. He wants to introduce her to you, I don’t think there is any reason for suspicion.
Post # 7
It sounds like he’s trying to help you make friends, but I would suggest meeting somewhere public first.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I agree with beachbride in that maybe you should meet in a public setting first, like go out to a festival or get drinks or a meal someplace together first, just because I find it weird to jump straight in to home visits! But yeah, hope it goes well and you guys click!
Post # 9
@LittlePumpkin: Honestly, I think you’re over thinking. Your husband, yourself, and his coworker should meet up for coffee or lunch or something. See where it goes from there.
As the only single woman in an engineering office of around 40 men, I meet up with my coworkers and their wives on a pretty regular basis. Initially, there were a few issues with wives being suspicious of me and why I was invited to things that were couples-only. We talked about it, and now they know I’m very new to the area, on a bunch of dating sites, and just happen to like the same geeky things their husbands do.
My only bit of advice would be to keep communication open. If you’re uncomfortable, tell your husband. If his coworker does something that crosses a line or concerns you, let her and your husband know.
Post # 10
@LittlePumpkin: i see where you’re coming froms, but i think that fact that she voiced that she was bummed you two weren’t in the same class and her interest in study buddies bodes well. i think he could simply play that angle to not make the invitation seem awkward or creepy. “yeah pumpkin said it would have been cool to know someone in class too. why don’t you come by and meet her, we can play n64 and you guys can compare notes to see how similar your classes are.” you know, whatever, but something like that. maybe she can told she can bring another friend if she wants?
i think it’s perfectly possible to do this w/o it being creepy at all. it sounds like you are all the same age, and i’m guessing maybe young? (school/video games). It doesn’t sound weird t me. i wouldn’t worry about awkwardness if you don’t hit it off, DH has prescreened her for being cool and i’m sure you’ll be able to get along for a few hours even if it’s not besties at first sight. haha.
good luck! i actually think your DH is being sweet in thinking of you and your social circumstances having moved from vegas! 🙂
Post # 11
Seems harmless. My DH has kind of run interference with me and his female friends before to make a hang out happen. I’m sure if she was trying to put the moves on him, she would decline or make a concerted effort to not have to meet/hang out with you
Post # 12
@LittlePumpkin: PPs ideas of having a lower key meeting i think is good too. I’ve met my coworker’s wives before: work happy hour, one stops in as they go to lunch together, etc. could be relatively easy.
Post # 13
Absolutely harmless! He could say “hey, my wife and I want to have you over for dinner and games!” She’ll most likely say yes.
Post # 14
I think it is a great way for you to make friends! A few months ago my SO had a meeting about his farm loan with a new girl at the agency. Afterwards he goes “yeah so that girl is our age…and she just moved down here ( i just moved down 2 years ago and have no friends other thank work people too) I was going to invite her to hang out with us, but I didn’t want her to get the wrong idea”
I was kinda like…wait…a girl who is like us and just moved down here and has no friends?! sign me up! haha. but alas, it was a totally different situation and it wasn’t like he was going ot call the farm loan office to ask her to hang out with us..so no new friend for me!
I would be excited if I were you. I would only be worried if he wanted to hang out with her alone to play video games. If he wants you there, and they seem totally cool as friends…then awesome!
Post # 15
I’m not exactly worried if she’s into him. He’s a very straight-forward and honest man, and loves and respects me. I know I’m his dream woman, no doubt about it! I got cheated on before I met DH and found situations to be rather iffy and got nervous easily. I have bounced back from that pretty well. Sometimes I get a little nervous just because of my past of being cheated on, but then I remind myself that I’m getting silly. So it’s a rarity that I get myself worked up and feel suspicious. My man has done nothing for me to not trust him. He literally works with an office full of women (poor guy!), so becoming friends with someone of the opposite sex is totally inevitable, and I’m okay with this! So long as boundries are not crossed! 😀
Thank you for your advice. I didn’t want to creep her out by having him invite her to our home!! And yes, isn’t he the sweetest? He knows what kind of girls I make friends with, and there aren’t very many intelligent, cool girls out here I click with. : (
Post # 16
@Tatertot2003: Haha, awww. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you! 🙁 I have a hard time finding a woman I can truly enjoy non-stop company of. My ex-BFF who lives in Vegas literally just went. . .crazy?! I don’t know if she’s into drugs now or what, but ohhhh my dear, she is nothing like the girl I used to know since third grade! It breaks my heart. She understood me and my stupid jokes. :<
I tend to get along with everyone, but I don’t have many great, reliable friends who I can trust. Most of them are DH’s school year friends.