DH wants to rehome our cat

posted 2 years ago in Pets
Post # 2
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019 - City, State

I feel so bad for the cat. Rescue animals sometimes have more issues due to past abuse. I would fight to keep the cat. Was the cat adopted with the understanding that it could have vet costs? I would change the diet and bring the cat back to the vet. I definitely would not get rid of the cat, but that is just me. It may be an unpopular opinion but I definitely think of pets as family. 

Post # 3
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

If it were me I would be on board with my husband on this one.  You have a toddler so having cat blood and poop everywhere is not healthy or safe.  You’re also trying to conceive so you don’t need this added stress which for me is more important than a cat sorry. Family or cat = Family wins.  This is just me and I don’t have pets I had a tiny dog when I was younger so I really can’t relate in this instance. 

Post # 4
5780 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry but when you adopt a pet, you’re promising him/her a ‘forever home’, it’s so sad that animals who get old or sick are no longer wanted. This is what you and your DH signed on for when you got him, he’s not a toy to be cast aside as defective just because he’s ill. Well, we’ll keep your sister, but youv’e become a burden, so bye. 

And people talk of ‘rehoming’ as if it’s a simple thing to do. If his own human family considers him a burden, do you think he’ll easily be adopted out with bowel issues and in need of testing/ diagnosis? People like to say they’re ‘rehoming’ their pets because it makes them feel less guilty than saying we’re sending him back to the shelter to live out his days there or possibly be euthanized. 

I suspect a big part of the anxiety you feel rushing to clean up after the cat is because of your husband’s reaction, deep down it doesn’t sound like you really want to give your cat away. If you’re TTC it’s not likely you’re so strapped for cash that these tests aren’t do-able for you. Not saying you’re made of money, but you don’t sound destitute either. If you don’t have $700 readily available or room on a credit card, please speak to your vet about a payment plan. The cat is suffering needlessly because he’s undiagnosed and therefore untreated- wanting to get rid of him rather than get him proper vet care is heartbreaking. 

Post # 5
157 posts
Blushing bee

I would probably rehome the kitty in this situation.

Post # 6
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
RobbieAndJuliahaha :  I was trying to find the words but this is exactly what I wanted to say. 

OP maybe don’t give kitty free reign all over the house. Can you confine him to a room until the vet figures out whats wrong? Kitty needs a diagnosis. Put those pee pads down. And get some old blankets and towels to put down for kitty to be comfy. These will be blankets and towels to toss when kitty is better. That way it’s easy to throw in the wash with a disinfectant. You csm cover an entire area. Get baby gates up, etc. 

You gotta push the vet for ideas on what to do. It’s no way ro live for kitty either he’s suffering greatly.  

Post # 7
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Are you a terrible person? Sorry, but yeah, a little. You decided to bring pets into your life. Pets get ill, pets make messes. And you haven’t completely covered all that can be covered to find what’s going on. I respect that your TTC but it’s not fair on your cat to just kick him out because it’s sick. He needs you and your help. Do you think anybody will be willing to take on a sick cat? Probably not.

Our first dog started peeing and pooping in the house. She had cancer and was losing control – we paid for 2 surgeries, each gave her another year or so. At the 3rd we had to let her go because the vet said he couldn’t operate anymore. It was annoying and expensive… but she was a family member. Mum’s current dog also started peeing all over the place suddenly. Diagnosis: Cushing. He, too, gets treatment. Expensive but worth it.

So find that money, as a previous poster said, get a payment plan. Maybe solve that problem first before you have another baby. Either this will be something the vet can solve with meds or surgery, then your cat can get healthy again – but only if you find the money. Hardly anybody will be willing to get a cat that will need surgery straight away. Or it’s something horrible like an unoperable tumour, then it’s your duty as a caring owner to spare him the pain and put him down now, rather than taking him back to the shelter where THEY will have to find the money to find out what it is and then put him down.

Post # 8
395 posts
Helper bee

This is tough 😢 my cat went through a phase where she would not stop peeing on our carpet and destroyed our new couch, which isn’t as bad as blood/poop everywhere. We moved and our cat has been much better. But during those times we got so frustrated with her and the vet said it was just behavioral and the things we tried didn’t do much.

If it really is affecting your life so much you could consider rehoming her/ finding a foster home, but I would only feel ok with it if you found an actual person who would help her. She will not get re-adopted quickly with these issues and will probably live in a cage for a long time 🙁  thinking of putting my cat in a shelter makes me want to cry so I understand how you feel 🙁 🙁  I’m sorry this isn’t great advice but I wish you luck 

Post # 9
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I’m sorry mama, I can understand how you are feeling on some level. One of our cats pees allover the house for no apparent reason. We have given them new food, given them more cat boxes (one for each cat + one extra). We have determined that it’s either because the cat box isnt’ clean enough for him (we clean every day all 4) or its a territorial thing. We can’t wrap our heads around it.. 

But your problem sounds much worse. I can’t imagine washing my sheets everyday beacuse kitty poops in the house and allover your stuff. 

I can tell you I had to switch one of my cats to a medicated food and it did help tremendously but it was for crystals in his pee. And he has been 100% better now being on the new food. We do not feed our cats Blue Buffalo anymore for that reason. Long story, but we only use Purina and the medicated food for one of the babes (I have 3). 


While kitty gets aclimated to the new food, can you keep him segregated to an area of the house? Block off a basement or a room for him? It sounds harsh but if you quarantine him with the new food maybe tou can figure out if it’s working? 

Another suggestion is to buy a $19.99 wifi camera off amazon and set it up to watch kitty in the quarantined area to try to see if you can pick up on the issue. 

These are all things I personally would do because I also view pets as family and re-homing them would be a last resort for me. 

Sorry Bee, I feel your pain ;( 

Post # 10
767 posts
Busy bee

Poor kitty, maybe you could look into pet insurance? I don’t think it’s fair that as soon as there are problems you want to dump the cat back to the rescue.

Post # 14
2923 posts
Sugar bee

I also take pet guardianship seriously and generally don’t believe in rehoming.  Pets that have been rehomed often wind up with adjustment issues which can cause them to get rehomed again and again.  One of my friends adopted a sweet dog who had been rehomed 3 times previously.  The poor little guy now has separation anxiety.

I also question what message it sends to toddlers, to rehome a family member who has become inconvenient, messy, or a burden.  

On a practical side, has kitty had an ultrasound or any imaging yet?  I’m wondering about polyps or something causing a partial obstruction.

Post # 15
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

$500 is NOT a lot on veterinary care. It’s kind of mind boggling that your husband is refusing additional tests just because the first round didn’t find any results. Well, thats why you need more tests.  Not everything is an easy answer or an easy fix. I respect that you are trying to find answers, but the fact that you are putting a (fairly low) price limit kind of negates that. Just like doctors cost money, so do vets. Pet insurance, though too late in this situation, should be considered in the future though honestly if you re-home this cat, please do not adopt any more animals that you can’t afford. 

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