DH wants to rehome our cat

posted 2 years ago in Pets
Post # 16
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

I would have the cat put down. It’s unhygienic for a toddler and TTC and you’ve made an effort already. Yes, a pet is part of the family but not to the extent of causing issues. 

Post # 17
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee

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prism :  i understand the stress. Pets are tough! Especially when someone wants to fight harder to keep them. 

We have had our share of medical expenses for pets and let me tell you we were not in a position to be spending money like that. We did care credit and put what we could on credit cards. My dog had a UTI, something in her ear, worms (when we found her), her eye needed to be removed due to extensive damage $1600 (from before we found her), allergy tests 

my cat (less than 1 year old) broke his hip and we found that is was most likely a pre-existing fracture and thats why he always hated being picked up – because it hurt him :/) $1200 later and a couple months of recovery. He too was having bloody stool when i switched his food, i switched him back and he has been OK since. I mean, its always something with these darn pets.

But you have to go in knowing that you have to take care of them no matter what ailments they are given. Just like children. I can hear in your post that you do love the cat, but you just dont have it in you anymore to keep fighting with your husband.

Maybe you could keep the cat quarantined to the bathroom when you are not home while you work to figure out this issue? Have you tried seeing a different vet? a specialist? It sounds like these $700 tests could lead to the answer, but your husband doesnt want to keep trying. 

I think i would have a hard time forgiving my husband for rehoming a sick cat that has to come to know us for a year because he is “over it”. I wouldn’t divorce him or anything, but it would make me see him a different light. Not a flattering one. 

Post # 18
Member
5940 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wait, am I understanding this right? Because your cat is sick, you want to rehome him? If he was 100% well, would you keep him? That’s awful.

Post # 19
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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prism :  have you tried the raw food diet?

Post # 20
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My cat died last year after months of bloody, runny poop. We did everything, tried tons of pills, foods and even surgery, it costs us thousands. The vet eventually said it was probably some kind of cancer they couldn’t see without opening her up and searching. That’s when we finally put her down (she was dying, wouldn’t eat or move much).

Has that ever been mentioned for your cat, that it might be a cancer?

Post # 21
Member
2157 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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EmeraldAisle :  God, I hope you aren’t a pet owner. Put him down? Shame on you. Pets are not disposable as soon as its not convenient anymore. Rehoming is bad enough, but killing him because he is sick and needs additional care? Seriously, shame on you.

Post # 25
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

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littleanchor :  I do have a dog and I love him, but if there were ongoing medical issues that were causing significant strife in my life with no end in site, I would certainly consider it. A cat is not a human, it’s an animal and her family is more important. Maybe it’s better for the cat anyway. 

Post # 26
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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prism :  liver? Mine loved liver and gizzards….

 

Post # 28
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

At the very least, I would want to rule out all issues before I decided to send my animal back to the rescue.  In the grand scheme of things, $1200 total to diagnose a severe medical issue is relatively little.  Veterinary care is expensive, which is something that’s understood upon adopting a pet. 

After trying the dietary changes, I would run the diagnostic tests to see what’s up.  It could be a very treatable issue.  It could be very complicated and something that would make the cat’s life a living hell.  In the latter case, putting the cat down would be the kindest thing.  In the prior case, kitty could continue living with your family.  If the issue ends up being one that’s very medically complicated or requires more money than you have to fix, at least you know that by turning him over to the rescue, they will be able to give him the care you can’t. 

For now, you’re right.  The safety of your toddler is paramount… you don’t want that mess nearby.  The cat will have to be contained, perhaps to a bathroom for easy cleanup, until the issue is identified.  It will be a little miserable, but let’s put it this way… if you send him back to the rescue, he’ll be confined to a kennel anyway.  May as well give this a good shot.

Post # 29
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. If you already know what I’m about to say next, I apologize, but in case you don’t — cats can shed a parasite called Toxoplasmosis gondii in their feces, and pregnant women are especially susceptible to picking up an infection from this. Toxoplasmosis can severely injure a fetus, as it is extremely teratogenic. Pregnant women are not supposed to clean out kitty litter because of this risk. If you are cleaning up bloody feces and wiping your cat’s bottom every time he uses the litter box when you are pregnant, you are really endangering yourself and your baby. I know you said you’re TTC and are not pregnant yet, but it’s something to consider — your husband would have to take over cat poop clean up duty while you are pregnant and possibly pregnant. But even if you don’t intentionally clean it up, the fact that there is poop everywhere including your bed, pillows, and couch means that there is a very real risk that you could get an infection transmitted to you anyway. 

I also believe that pets should be for life and shouldn’t be rehomed when they get ill (my family cat also had some digestive issues and vomited all the time and became really aggressive as he got older, and my family dog had a seizure disorder which involved frequent seizures and incontinence for the last 2-3 years of his life and my parents lovingly took care of them until the end), but this goes beyond inconvenience into a safety issue for you, your future child, and your current toddler. I would not advocate for keeping a kitty that could cause death or severe and permanent disability to the baby you are trying to have. Even if it’s unlikely, it is still not a risk that I would be personally comfortable with. Other bees may feel differently, and that’s okay too. 

I know this must be heartbreaking either way bee, I’m sorry that you’re going through this situation. I hope you figure out a solution that is humane to your kitty and gives you and your family some peace.

Post # 30
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee

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prism :  it doesnt make you evil. Please know that isn’t what any of us are trying to say. 

you clearly are torn on this, if you were evil you would have put the cat down already. I just think personally  i would try everything in my power first before returning him. It sounds like you have tried A LOT – but can you return him knowing that you absolutely tried everything?

maybe try to agree that this is the last round of tests and if they came back with no answers then you can look into other options or rehoming? Praying that you guys find a solution soon. 

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