DH wants to rehome our cat

posted 1 year ago in Pets
Post # 46
Member
4756 posts
Honey bee

HisMoon :  Great idea…I didn’t think of this. Or the humane society perhaps? 

Post # 47
Member
6429 posts
Bee Keeper

From the gist of this post I’m seeing:
got a cat
cat got ill
I don’t want him

Seriously….a pet is an obligation.  I know you have a toddler and are trying to get pregnant, but don’t you think instead of getting rid of the cat you should actually get to the point of the issue.  If anything for the sake of the cat?  The cat should have been quarantined from the get go so you can control where he’s going and pooping.

Post # 48
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Have you looked into Chrons/Colitis?

Post # 49
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I just skimmed some posts, so someone may have already asked this, but can’t you just have the vet do the diagnostic tests one at a time? The worst case scenario is $700, but if you get the most informative tests out of the way first, you may catch what it is before you spend the whole $700. 

If I were in your shoes, I would explore every possible option before I gave him up. To give you an idea of what that means to me, I had a 20-year-old cat who since she was about 15 needed twice-daily medicine and regular blood work checks, only peed on towels that were laid out by the litter box (but never in it for some reason), and as she got even older, she struggled to get on and off the bed. When she started struggling with the bed, I spent 2 years getting x-rays, giving her nutritional supplements for bone health, and taking her in for steroid injections. Only when she couldn’t get on and off the bed at all without my help did I even consider not keeping her anymore—and that was only so she could peacefully die in my arms. 

I know you’re overwhelmed right now, but you do have steps you can take and your kitty needs you, so now is not the right time to give up. 

Post # 50
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

azf0019 :  For the record, I for one am not even close to financially priviledged.  I used care credit to pay 2500k for my senior dogs spleen removal because he is family and I love him.  A diagnosis most people opt to just euthanize for.  Guess what, his probable cancer turned out to be a benign mass.  I well understand the stress a pets medical situation can cause, in many ways.  Bottom line is there are still tests that can be done for her pet, relatively inexpensively.  There are options for financial constraints if that is truly an issue.  I am just tired of seeing animals die is shelters because of the “stress” they cause to the people that were entrusted to care for them

Post # 51
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

“Rehome” is a fluffy way of saying give up. You are not rehoming this cat you are removing it from his home. Do you really think that he will get a new home with this issue? No. Find a room for the cat in your home with easily cleaned floors or put towels down and try the food then the tests. $700 can be paid for over time at most vets offices with care credit. 

Post # 52
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think you are being judged harshly here and you sound like a good person who really does love her cat. I’ve come to learn that people become very polarized about caring for animals and usually fall into one of two camps. They either see the pet as higher than a family member and will treat them as such with spoiling and not sparing any expense….. or they see the animal as an animal, one you can love very much and have a bond with but nevertheless an animal that is not as important as a human. 

 

I fall into the latter camp. Maybe it’s because my grandparents had a ranch that I spent a lot of time on as a kid but I was taught animals were never treated like equals to humans. If that amount of money is too great and causing strife in your marriage and the mess is causing health issues for your child then I think that is a perfectly acceptable reason to give the cat back to the shelter. It sounds like he already had this problem when you got him. It’s sad and a hard decision to make but you are not an evil person for making that decision and doing what’s best for your family. 

Post # 53
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

Have you had pets before? I am worried that you didn’t have a realistic view of how much they cost before deciding to adopt this cat. In my experience, $500 in 8 months is nothing. Pets cost much, much more than that in the long run. I probably spend that amount in medical costs on my dog every year, even if he has no major issues – just regular checkups and flea/heartworm medication plus any 1 minor thing (ear infection, ate something bad, hurt his paw, etc.) easily adds up to $500. When something major does happen – and it almost inevitably will, to every pet – it’s going to be much, much more than that.

I get that it seems worse because this is happening so soon after you got the cat, and it seems like there’s no end in sight. But unless your vet tells you go, I wouldn’t assume that this is an unsolvable issue or that this cat is going to have lifelong health problems. It could very well be that you will find a solution soon and the cat will be fine for years. In the meantime, I would agree with recommendations to confine the cat as much as possible while he’s being tested, so that you’re not so stressed out and needing to clean up after him so often.

But in the long run, if you think $500 a year is too much to spend on a pet, it might actually be better to see if the shelter can find him a better home. ANY pet will cost you well more than that over the course of its life, even with no known medical issues at the time of adoption.

Post # 54
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee

violet90 :  don’t get me wrong…I completely understand being sad about animals dying in shelters; however, it isn’t always so black and white, like in this situation. They’ve got a child and are trying for another—going into debt may not currently be an option for them. They’re likely trying to save money for their new baby. Also, the stress in this situation could make it more difficult for OP to conceive. Plus having blood and feces around the house all the time could be dangerous for the entire family. Also, “overruling” her husband may make her entire life miserable until the cat is gone. Can you imagine the resentment he would feel towards her??

 

Everyone’s situation is different, and it certainly sounds like this is a make-or-break decision that could put undue strain on her marriage in this case. A sick cat, in my opinion I’m sorry to say, is not worth all of the aforementioned variables. I don’t see a point in guilting OP about something she’s already having such a hard time handling. 

Post # 55
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee

One of our cats had this problem when we first got him, we were always finding poop smears with blood all over the house. We tried all different kinds of foods and eventually after about 1 year the problem went away on its own. I think as he was a kitten when we got him he had a sensitive stomach and he’s grown out of it. How old is your cat? 

Some tips we got from the vet was to always give him dried food only as that is usually better when they have a sensitive stomach, and to gradually introduce new foods until we find one that suits him. We found Royal Canin sensitive stomach to be the best when he had a bad stomach, although it is very pricey, so luckily he is now on a cheap supermarket brand which costs a fraction of what we were paying before. Also, make sure there are no drinks or food left around that he could get into, our cat likes to drink tea that’s left in our mugs/cups which then upsets his stomach. 

Other options could be letting him be an outdoor cat and when he is in just keep him in an easily cleaned room like the kitchen? I think returning him to the shelter is very harsh as it’s not his fault and is probably something with patience and perseverance can be solved or worked around. 

Post # 56
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

azf0019 :  I haven’t heard the OP state that finances are a huge hurdle for them.  I can’t imagine they would be if they are TTC.  Care credit is a great option, asking vet for a payment plan, or selling unused items around the house.  All of which I have done when faced with a large, unexpected vet bill.  I can’t imagine if they are TTC they don’t have at least a small savings that could be used a bit.  Sorry, in my opinion one takes care of existing family members, even if it means postponing TTC for a few months.  Pets cost money, as one PP stated, $700 is not an unrealistic amount at all when you have a pet with a medical condition.  I understand this I hard on the OP, imagine how hard it is on the cat, and will be even harder I it is taken back to the shelter.  Those people that haven’t lived with animal rescue for years can never understand the heartbreak of watching life after life snuffed out because of reasons just like this.  

Post # 57
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee

Just following up on PP’s post about toxoplasmosis in pregnancy – I would recommend seeing your doctor and arranging a blood test to check for toxoplasma antibodies.  Toxo causes problems if you become infected with it during pregnancy (or possibly in the few months before you conceive), but if you’ve already been infected and have developed antibodies, then it’s generally not a problem.  Chances are, if you’re cleaning up cat poop every day, you’ve already been infected.  A test that shows you’ve made antibodies would confirm this, and then you don’t need to worry about catching it during pregnancy.

Post # 58
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee

violet90 :  I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. My point is that yes, *you* did those things, but everyone’s situation is different and everyone has different capacities for these sorts of things. For me personally, I’d spend the money without batting an eye—but I do not have a husband, a child, or am I trying to get pregnant. Even if I were, i would still extend understanding to someone who COULDNT or even wasn’t willing to go to the same measures.

 

Also, I think it is absurd to suggest that someone put off extending their family because of a pet. If you’d do it, no judgment from me, but it’s not reasonable to suggest someone else adhere to that standard. 

Post # 59
Member
2409 posts
Buzzing bee

One more thought: have you tried a grain free diet?

Post # 60
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

azf0019 :   Not absurd at all.  In fact I do think most people would agree that if for some reason providing $700 of care for an ill pet is a financial burden, how on earth would another child not pose even more of a financial strain?  If I couldn’t provide basic health care for my animals, I certainly wouldn’t add to my family.  It is called being responsible for those that rely on your care, animal or not.   I honestly don’t believe finances are the problem here, her husband is just over the cat.  

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