DH working 80 hours a week?

posted 4 months ago in Career
Post # 16
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

This is so so bad for his health.  Leave it isn’t worth it

Post # 17
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

You didn’t provide a lot of details, so I may be reading into this too much, but I wanted to offer some cautionary advice based on what I’ve seen some of my more traditional (man is the sole or primary breadwinner) extended family and friends go through.

This is more normal than you think. To be frank, it often comes with the territory, depending on where you live. One of my work friend’s partners got a job similar to this, and they pulled the same nonsense: ever-increasing hours, worse shifts, VIP projects that were going wrong, threats of being fired for ridiculous reasons, etc. He was able to quit and move into something else. 

It may be time for the two of you to have a serious conversation about both of your careers. When the pressure is on one partner to be the breadwinner, it breeds set-ups where it’s very hard to leave bad situations, because there’s not enough backup in the form of the other spouse’s income. I’m not sure if you plan to have children, but this is especially hard if you ever do. Several of my cousins can only 100% count on seeing their young children during waking for church on Sunday, because they’ve also ended up in jobs that take advantage of them, but they can’t leave. 

At the end of the day, he is probably best looking into something else, and you may be too if your salary isn’t enough to get by with some intense budgeting, to avoid a repeat of this situation in the future. 

Post # 18
1489 posts
Bumble bee

Not sure where you live, but in the UK this wouldn’t even be legal, let alone anywhere near acceptable. I am salaried and I work 37.5 hours per week, so your husband’s manager is expecting him to work more than double full time hours for the same salary? No way, I would put my foot down and say absolutely not  to working any more hours and look for another job ASAP as this is insane. 

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