(Closed) DH’s horrible friend (very *very* long vent!)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

wow!  the nerve of some people…

I don’t think you should bother telling ‘F’ why you’re so upset.  I think it’s pretty obvious that this person does not understand very basic ettiquite.  Furthermore, I don’t think it’ll be possible to explain to him why what he did was wrong and why he should appologize for it.  

I’m a little torn over inviting him to the second reception.  My first inclanation was “of course you shouldn’t invite him!”… but after thinking about it, your relationship with your husband is much, much more important than how you feel about this person.  Maybe you should ask your Darling Husband what he thinks about it.  If he feels strongly about inviting him to the wedding dispite your feelings about F, than I think that speaks for itself.  Weddings are, after all, supposed to be about sharing with friends & family.

And as far as F goes… if I knew who that person was I would like to kick him between the legs as hard as I could.  I can’t imagine the nerve of him at your wedding!!  And unashamedly making out with & taking her home… what was he thinking?!  You’re totally right to never want that person in your home.

Post # 4
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

sorry hun but this is definitely too long.  if you can shorten it, i’d be happy to comment.

Post # 6
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

What. A. Douche.

Sorry, I have no words of advice, but just wanted to voice my feelings about this freeloading a-hole. Make sure you stick to your guns and don’t let him start to “just drop by” your house every night for dinner too!! I am hopelessly non-confrontational and can’t deal with these sorts of people myself… your poor parents!!

Post # 8
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow this dude is a nightmare. But, people treat you how they let them. Everyone in this story just let him walk all over them, constantly giving in to his whims. So as far as he is concerned, he can get whatever he wants as long as he is persistent. Have you ever trained a dog? If you tell them no and they keep whining and you give in, they learn that they just have to keep at it after the initial no to get what they want. This guy needs some ground rules on etiquette laid out by someone, maybe your Darling Husband, and that way he can work up to being barely tolerable. 

Post # 11
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ouf, I would absolutely not invite him to your at-home reception and I think your Hubby should understand.

I would be worried about him showing up anyhow because you share friends.

Post # 12
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

NO.NO.NO….do NOT invite him! It would be like the old saying about beating your head against a wall and expecting a different result…not getting a headache.

This guy has been getting away with his bad behavior for so long it will never change as long as everyone keeps enabling him. Being ‘polite’ has nothing to do with it. It isn’t your job to teach him any manners, but it IS your job to not encourage it to continue inconveniencing everyone else because he doesn’t know any better. When does it end?

Forget this guy. He isn’t worth it and your husband will hopefully realize it sooner rather than later.

Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t invite him to your second reception.  Darling Husband may not want to hurt this guys feelings but .. does F have any?  He is rude, arrogant and a total boar, people like that do not have feelings.  I say don’t invite him ….. on the other hand he may just show up anyway.

Post # 14
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@peacheslea: Ask your parents if they felt at all taken advantage of. Maybe they honestly didn’t mind, but that would be surprising as the guy is horrid. So it sounds to me like they need a lesson in getting the treatment they want from oblivious people like him. They might think they set an example for him, but that didn’t work. And I do believe in treating others the way I’d like to be treated, so I can understand their reluctance to be mean to him, but he is being rude and ungrateful and groping their daughter in front of everyone! HE is treating them the way HE wants to be treated – rudely and without any kind of thoughtfulness or grace. So giving him a dose of his own medicine could be a bit useful. Or it would just confuse him, and he’d wonder why everyone is being so mean all of a sudden. I think Darling Husband needs to have a chat with him, seriously, because friends are supposed to help us become better people.

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