(Closed) DH’s taxes – wracked with guilt…

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
10849 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Awww sweetie. ((hugs)) That sucks!!!! Taxes up here are very very high, you’re totally right, and it would certainly suck to not be able to benefit from what you’re paying for (health care, etc). I’m not sure I have a lot of suggestions…….. Is it possible for him to move the business to the States? Can he do that with a green card? I know it’s really complicated, my friend and her husband are just about to embark on this (they’re both Canadian but she’s going to be working as a prof in Michigan and her husband is an author and editor/publisher, so it’s been complicated trying to figure out what country is best to run the company from and what’s allowed!).

Post # 4
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That sucks! I don’t mind paying high taxes because it’s a nice problem to have but it’s not worth it to you at all when you are not living in Canada. 

I don’t think you should feel guilty, this isn’t a decision that you pushed him into (I hope) but one that you both made as a couple based on what is best for you. Have you told him that you feel guilty?

Does it help for next year to put his income into RRSPs? That’s what saved my SO from having to pay any taxes this year. 

Post # 5
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Awww, I am so sorry to hear about the huge tax bill. The thing is, it’s done. There is no going back and undoing the huge bill. So the best you can do is mourn the loss of his savings and move on. You chose the right location for the two of you and in the end it will pay off. Maybe you can talk to an accountant to see if there’s anything to be done about it, but usually governments don’t like giving discounts.

Taxes make me furious. I am not naive, and I do love our country. But I just don’t understand how it’s now considered okay to take almost half of my paycheck AND sometimes charge me at the end of the year. It’s like I worked so hard getting my degree and working my way up the corporate ladder for nothing. The more I make, the more they take. It’s a vicious cycle.

Post # 6
2739 posts
Sugar bee

@moderndaisy: Don’t even get me started on taxes lady. You know as NY’ers we get really effed when it comes to taxes. I don’t mind federal. But state, and local??!! So when my friends or family members talk about their taxes in TX, I tell them to stuff it. You only pay federal taxes. When I read about how much taxes Europeans/Canadians pay (a lot) but what they get in return, I just want to move to Canada…although not where my friend lives in Calgary. She said it’s lonesome and cold!!

Post # 7
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry the money issue was just presented to you, but the taxes he was billed were the previous year. So if he did live there he has already reaped the benefits from it.

Post # 9
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think that’s a nice idea. Help him pay his taxes.

Post # 10
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is there any particular reason why the tax bill is higher than normal? Is it because he moved? or becausehe got married? I would have thought that would reduce the tax bill

Post # 12
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I know it must be hard, but please don’t feel guilty. I moved to the US to be with my husband and sacrificed a lot to do so. I gave up the cushiest job I’ll likely ever dream of ever having again, moved far from family, and while not entirely similar to your husband’s situation, had to take on debt that I never would have had to deal with had I stayed in Canada.

I’d never for a second fault my husband for this. With our situation, he could have moved to Canada, we’d have taken home an extra $25,000 a year, I would have no debt and remain close to my family (and oddly enough the same distance from his family that we are now), but in the end this is what we decided. We had been apart for too long and the way I feel is that there was no price too highto pay to starting our life together. To me, the costs of immigrating to the US to be with him were a pretty sound investment! I’m sure your husband feels the same way even while cursing those damned capital gains.

Post # 13
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Thats a hard situation and it sucks. Im so sorry you guys are going through this. With that being said. As hard as all these things are, I think it will make your relationship stronger.. When you can get through things like that it makes you learn how to better work together. This is awful that his savings are being depleated, but you can only go up from here. At the end of the day it was his choice to come and he had to have looked into it a bit. Maybe you guys didnt know the hit would be this substancial but he probably knew that there would be one. Dont feel so down.. He can probably see that you feel awful. I can tell just by your psot how bad you feel, Its prolly written all over your face. He knows this wasnt something that you did on purpose to be mean. He could never be mad at that.

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