Post # 1
I’m a newbee who is hoping to grab some wisdom from y’all. 🙂
My SO just ordered my e ring yesterday (eeek!) And it has a 7mm moissy center. Here’s my question– have any of you who have diamond alternatives experienced any quips about having something other than a diamond in your e ring from anyone? If so, how did you handle it?
My family is very traditional and outspoken and I’ll be the first person with a diamond alternative e ring. Consequently, my SO and I are a bit nervous that we may get some comments from them or friends, strangers, etc.
I know it’s our decision, and we are happy with it, so any negative opinions don’t really matter. But it got me thinking – does that stuff (e.g. people being put off when they find out a stone isnt a diamond) happen often? Or do people mostly not even notice or ask what your stone is? That being said — Did most people you know even notice when you got your e ring if you didn’t say anything?
This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by ilspflz123.
Post # 2
The only person that’s ever asked me if it was real was a clerk at a store. A lot of people in my family know because I told them. They all have diamonds but they don’t care.
Post # 3
ilspflz123: The only slightly rude/annoying comments I have recieved so far were from my mother in law. She likes to refer to it as fake and it just irks me. She will say how real it looks for a fake diamond blah blah blah but I just chalk that up to ignorance and her being a slight snob. My ring was an upgrade for our 10 year anniversary. All of my immediate friends and family know it is a moissanite. I was so excited to find an alternative and not have to wait and save forever to afford the size stone I really wanted. Everyone now wants one for themselves and thrilled to have learned about them! Other than that I have only had comments on how pretty my ring is etc. People who don’t know it is moissanite have not asked me if it is a diamond as of yet. I think this will come into play more often if you get something quite large and a bit off for your life style. That is when people may wonder and start asking questions. If someone asks me I would be happy to share it is a moissanite though, I am proud of it reguardless of how anyone feels on having an alternative stone over a diamond. Do not be nervous, you know you made the decision that is best for you and your SO 😀
Post # 4
It happened to me when I bought a 1ct FB moissanite ring once. I showed it to all my female in-laws who all own diamonds up to the 2 ct range and they ALL fawned over it and gasped and asked, “Is it real?!” (They were asking because I hadn’t had a stone near that size before). I said, “I don’t know, what do you think?” and many of them were like, “Omg, it’s real, isn’t it? It’s gorgeous!!” That’s when I excitedly told them it was a moissanite and explained what it was. Literally the moment after I finished my speech, none of them were impressed anymore. From that day on, everytime I got a new ring, they’d ask me if it was “real”- not in an impressed way, but rather insinuating that if it was a moissanite it was fake. I started getting really annoyed and started replying with, “Yes, it’s real. Obviously.” regardless of what stone it was because moissanite is a real stone.
I have a 1ct diamond now, but I still can’t stand diamond snobbery WHEN THEY COULDN’T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE. I wouldn’t recommend telling anyone in your family it’s not a diamond unless you’re fine with putting up with their potentially uneducated responses.
Post # 5
luey12986: Same here. My Mother-In-Law mentioned she wanted to find a loose stone to start a new ring project and I offered up my FB moissanite to her. Her response? “Thanks, but I prefer real.” Ugh. If I had never told her it was moissanite, she would have never suspected it wasn’t a diamond. Why does it matter if it’s a diamond if your eyes can’t see the difference?
Post # 6
FutureMrsHoneybee: Totally agree! I dont get why if it isnt a diamond it is “fake” so silly to me.
Post # 7
luey12986: I know! It’s as if many believe diamonds are the be all and end all of clear stones, and anything else in that range is merely an impersonator that couldn’t possibly be its own stone with its own beauty. It’s as if they’re all being entered into a competition that they didn’t want or agree to.
Post # 8
Nobody’s ever asked and I’ve never volunteered the info myself. Not because I’m embarassed or feel it’s lesser than a diamond, but I just don’t want people’s snobby, judgey comments about something so precious to me. A lot of people don’t understand that moissanites aren’t “fake diamonds”, or something for people who can’t afford the “real thing”. I don’t want some twat casting their judgment on something that symbolises my relationship.
Post # 9
I have owned a few moissanites. I never “hid” what they were if someone made inquiries about it and some knew from the start as I told them. Some thought it was cool and were intrigued about it, some sort of just shrugged it off or were less interested in it once they knew it was not a diamond.
I do think most people who just see a colourless stone will assume it is a diamond but if the size looks out of place for your lifestyle or area or if someone is more familiar with moissanite and so on, they may suspect it is not a diamond. I love moissanites but they do perform differently and in person I can see this IF I spend some time looking but I really do not get that personal with other people’s stones (nor would I ever say anything if they did not volunteer the info!). I also think some people just may know it is not quite like a diamond without knowing why or what it is…it just is a bit different and some people pick up on this without being able to explain why. Quality CZ is a better imitation of a diamond, to be honest.
Some people only know or believe the story that had been sold to them – that only real diamonds matter. These are often the same people who believe all diamonds are an investment (ha!), that coloured stones are cheap (again, ha! please find me a perfect paraiba and tell me that), and that any other colourless or white stone is “fake” (be it zircon, moissanite, sapphire, CZ). The latter is in part because the makers of moissanite itself marketed it as a diamond alternative so that will always follow it around. I have never fretted about these people. They are a chain jewelers dream.
I will say – if you yourself are familiar with diamonds and buy moissanite to “replace” a diamond and to pass it off, I think you will always be on guard about others thoughts on it. I also think the fact YOU know might be am issue. If you buy it to love for what it is, I think you will be pleased. If not, you may be happier with a smaller diamond – even looking at secondhand or vintage, for the mind clean aspect. I love moissanites, but even I will admit I prefer diamonds and would go for a bit smaller, but lovely diamond, over a larger moissanite if I had to choose only one.
Post # 10
I have a moissy e-ring. To be honest? I never get any comments on my ring. When I first got engaged, people asked to see it and told me it was beautiful, but the conversations stopped at that. Maybe it’s because most of the people in my life are laid back and not the jewelry types. It could be a regional thing too.
Post # 11
One of my best friends is extremely upset SO and I opted to go with moissy. She constantly says it is ridiculous and we need to return and get “the real thing.” I haven’t even gotten engaged yet… So we will see if the comments continue once I do.
Post # 12
The only person who has ever asked me “is it real” is a random stranger at a thrift store who jerked my hand up to her face…and then I got bitched at on here when I posted about it lol. Other than that, I was really open about it with friends and family when we first got engaged and they all thought it was a great idea and told me they never would’ve known if I hadn’t told them!
I had my bridal shower this past weekend and a couple of family friends that I haven’t seen since the day after I got engaged, were sitting around chatting. One of them asked to take a pic of my ring and the centerpiece, as she was doing this she kept saying “your diamond is so gorgeous and sparkly” then I just said thank you and said it wasn’t a diamond. The 3 of them were shocked and told me they couldn’t tell a difference!
The only negative judgement I’ve received about my moissy came from the bees when I posted about the lady at the thrift store. Other than that, every person I have told in real life, friends and strangers, have told me it is pretty and they wouldn’t have known and that it’s a great idea! In general, my ring fits our lifestyle and people don’t question it.
Post # 13
People have been nothing but fascinated with my moissy. One girl was so impressed today I needed to write down the details and name of the stone for her!
Post # 14
No one even knows unless I tell them. I have a 6.5mm forever one. I don’t offer the information and no one asks for it! My parents and his parents know, only because we told them. My parents and his parents thought it was a diamond until We told them. I say you do what feels most comfortable to you, whether that’s telling no one, everyone, or some people. at least with my stone, everyone assumes its a diamond unless told otherwise.
Post # 15
ilspflz123: The most “rudeness” I experience about having a moissanite is seeing secondhand snark on the Bee. For the most part, I don’t think anyone really cares. No one in my family or group of friends ever came right up and asked me if it was a diamond and I think they (correctly) assumed it was not because we don’t have $25k to drop on a 2.5 ct. diamond. However, I’ve always been vocal of not wanting a diamond and wanting something that was sparkly as hell (but also durable and could keep it’s sparkle).
I got a few comments from my grandmother when I first got engaged, but it wasn’t really rude–or rather, I wasn’t offended by it. I knew going into getting this ring that there would be snark, side-eye, and snide comments every now and again, but I haven’t really experienced it. My family doesn’t really snark on stuff like that and the only one of my friends in my friends group that is married who I see all the time has an heirloom diamond and she has always been very open with the fact that if her grandmother hadn’t given her that diamond, she would have a very different stone.