(Closed) Diamond Engagement Ring

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think there really is a "standard." It really just depends on your  fiance’s financial circumstances and your taste. Keep in mind that if your fiance has a pretty good income, 3 months salary could be a huge amount. For example, in my fiance’s case, 3 months salary would be over $30K, and my ring definitely did not cost that much. Yet, it is still a very nice ring. So don’t feel like your fiance is being cheap because he does not adhere to the 3 month standard. I think I heard somewhere that a one carat size is very common, but again, it all depends! If you are concerned about having a "nice" ring, I would just drop some hints about the styles you like, because having a ring that is "you" will peobably make you happier than having a ring that cost a certain percentage of your fiance’s salary 🙂

Post # 4
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’d say it is whatever you want. Personally I tried on 1 carat rings and felt they looked to weird on my short fingers, plus I have a habit on knocking rings around. So, I wanted a 1/2 carat. When picking out the stone my fiance wanted to get me the best stone because I wanted a smaller one. We ended up with a 1/2 carat princess cut, F color, VS-1 and I think it is just perfect for me and it cost him 1 1/2 months salary. In these economic times I think 3 months salary isn’t wise.

Post # 5
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t think you should base it off of that. I personally care more about the quality than carat size. I have less than a carat and it saves a lot of money by going under because so many people believe you need the carat. I love my fiance and I love my ring and labeling it doesnt make it any better by price or carat or name brand.

I think clarity and color are more important than carat because you could get a large carat with a low quality, but I have always been one for quality over quantity.

Post # 6
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

O and for the giving it to a future daughter or daughter in law, I think they will feel the same about it. My diamond was given to my fiance by his parents. It was the diamond his father proposed to his mom with. Hearing the carat size and other stats had no meaning compared to the sentimental meaning behind it. I love that it was passsed down from his parents. I hope it brings my marriage as much luck and happiness as it has brought theirs.

Post # 7
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

To be honest I would have been very upset if he spent that much money on my ring. I love my Engagement Ring , and it end up having more bling then I was expecting , but my center stone is not a diamond . I’m just not a diamond girl.  I do think quality of the stone matter more then the size.

I was pretty up front on what I wanted , because I wanted a ring I would like. I also knew that what I wanted would probably have to be made. I think it’s important to give hints of what you would like.

Post # 8
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think since "nice" is so relative a term, if you find that you do have an opinion, be sure to freely express that. Some people don’t care, some people do. Some people dont even want a diamond, and others are adamant about having one… my motto is always quality is better than quantity but i have friends that have anything froma 3/4 kt hearts&diamond stone, to over 3kts of almost equal quality – and it truly just depends on the girl.

 Personally, although some would probably put me in the "shallow" or "materialistic" category, but i LOVE jewelry, so it was very important to me just because it was… and i expressed that early! and although my FH could have proposed with a pebble off the side of the road and felt as long as the meaning was behind it, that was all that matters, what meant the most was that he took my feelings into consideration and gave me the ring of my dreams… b/c he knew it meant a lot to me.

 that being said, your FH can’t do that unless they know what you want – or for that matter, what you don’t want!!! 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Ok, so obviously the whole "3-months salary" thing isn’t an actual rule. But I’ve always been curious: is it supposed to be before or after tax?

Anyway, I don’t have my ring yet, but I know I’ve read on these boards about how much difference a higher quality diamond can make. I remember someone saying that the jeweler laid out 3 or 4 rings, and asked them to pick the one with the largest diamond, and they actual picked the one with the smallest! I think the cut really helps determine how big the diamond is (if you’re interested in having it look big) 

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Keep in mind that DeBeers (the world’s larger diamond producer and near-monopoly) invented the "standards" for what an engagement ring should look like and cost, so it’s all marketing hype. Your fiance should spend what he is able to comfortably spend on something you geniunely like. It doesn’t have to be a diamond, it doesn’t have to be a certain size, it doesn’t have to cost 2(3?) months salary, it’s up to you and him to figure out what is reasonable.

You don’t even have to have an engagement ring, if you don’t like jewelery and would rather spend that money on something else! I even know someone who got engagement cabinets instead of a ring because they were redoing a kitchen and she really, really, really wanted nice kitchen cabinets in the house they were going to live in for the next 30-40 years.

Post # 11
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Three months salary seems very steep to me.  We did one months salary (he is a teacher).  I’m pretty sure there is no diamond size standard.  I went by what looked good on my finger and was in our price range. I think that the ring is more about a) the symbolisim behind it   and b) a ring you love and want to wear every day.

Click here to look at what one months teacher salary can buy (just the engagement ring, the bands added a little more to it).

 Good luck

Post # 12
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m a combination of Irishgirl and BunnyBlue.  Because my fingers are short, 1 carat stones are way too big on my hand in my opinion.  So I got a 1/2 carat center 3 stone ring with flanking sapphires – not quite 1 carat total.  It is the perfect size for my hand! 

As I have never been particularly fond of diamonds, I did consider an emerald or sapphire center stone.  But because I am also hard on my hands and, therefore, rings – I elected for a diamond as it is harder and more difficult to damage.  My fiance did save for two years so he could "splurge" (without having to go beyond his means) and bought me a better quality diamond.  I must tell you – despite my past dislike for diamonds – I love my engagement ring!   

I do think the 3 months salary thing is a marketing ploy and places unnecessary stress on the men we love.  A gift from the heart is the most precious gift of all 😀 

Post # 13
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

According to my Fiance, the average size and cost of a wedding ring is 1ct, 3K.  However, a great clarity, good cut 1ct stone can be 7K.  So you can imagine how ring costs can vary.  According to my  Fiance source,  two month salary is what the jewelry stores are shopping these days. 

For me, I just wanted something classy and that we both loved.  I am small and petite and didn’t want anything too large.  We looked together beforehand and because he was making this investment for me, they were all beautiful. 

My Fiance ended up going out on a limb when he went to a shop his deceased father used to frequent.  I ended up with a gorgeous fancy yellow diamond set in platinum and gold, just over a carat.  He felt it was unique, sentimental, and took a lot of time picking it out.  Swoon.  Of course, I love it.  But I probably would have loved whatever he picked out for me.

Point is, there is no formula. I think you need to consider what he can afford, what fits for you, and whether you will like it in 15 years.  

Post # 14
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I think the whole 3 month thing is ridiculous.  Even if my fiance was loaded and making tons of money, I would never allow him to spend so much on my ring!  It’s just one ring!  Also, considering how forgetful I am, it makes absolutely no sense ot me to buy a bank busting ring.  That said, I also don’t think a diamong ring is necessary.  A girlfriend of mine got a ring with an emerald in it as the center stone and it’s beautiful! 

I just helped my cousin pick out a gorgeous ring.  We went to a diamond merchant based on a friend’s recommendation and picked out the diamond.  It was a VS1 and an E. Having gone though the process, I can say that a VS1 is fine as well as some VS2s.  At that level, the inclusions cannot be seen by the naked eye.  Having an excellent cut, and color are more important in my non-expert opinion than clarity once you get to a VS1 with few inclusions.  Also, the ratio, floresence, and making sure your table and depth are within the ideal ranges indicate a quality gem. Once we picked out the diamond, we got the band made from a jeweler the diamond merchant recommended.

Even considering all of the above, it’s not so much the ring but what it stands for – a symbol of your fiance’s love for you and a representation of his desire to spend his life with you.  It sounds cheesy but it’s true.

Post # 15
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Erindesmar, I could have written your post… fancy yellow diamond, just over a carat, set in platinum and totally gorgeous.  It ended up nearly meeting "guidelines", but it wasn’t about marketing, it just sort of worked out that way.  It’s hard to block out all that stuff, but the love is what is important…

Post # 16
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The thing about 3 months salary is just a marketing ploy.  The trick it to get a good cut & good quality diamond.  And if you are interested in a diamond that’s about a carat, I suggest getting one just under (e.g. .93ct).  Just doing that could literally save you 1K.  The price jump up to an actual carat is ridiculously expensive. 

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