Post # 1
I don’t know where this goes, so hopefully this is a good place for it. I need advice from brides!
DH’s brother is getting married in a month or so – neither of us are in the wedding party, so we decided we’d kind of make it a vacation for us.
Well…..his brother and his Fiance found out we’re not planning on staying in their chosen hotel (because, um, the reception’s not even there and…we don’t want to!) and flipped out. I’m under the impression that especially since Darling Husband isn’t in the wedding party, we have no obligation to do anything but show up (and of course Darling Husband spend a little time with family). I don’t see how our choice of hotel influences this.
So, brides, would you care where peope stay and why? Please go easy on me, Darling Husband just got back from a deployment and we were hoping to spend some alone time together the weekend of the wedding since we aren’t that involved (basically, we’re normal guests, right?).
Post # 3
@starrynight: Even if you were in the wedding party it’s still none of their business where you stay! They are in the wrong for sure.
Post # 4
I didn’t care where anyone stayed! My Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law stayed in separate hotels (they’re divorced) but both were close to the venue, which was good for them! We let them do their own research and figure out where they wanted to stay because they wanted to do some sightseeing while they were here too!
I’d be so cheesed off it I was not a part of the wedding party and people told me where I had to stay!
Post # 4
Perhaps he was banking on X number of people using his preferred hotel so that he didn’t have to apy the difference? Fancier hotels might do that.
Otherwise, he is unreasonable and should not expect his guests to stay anwhere he suggests.
Is wedding stress getting to him and you got him on a bad day?
Post # 5
I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. If you are not paying for my room, you get no say. That would be the end of it for me.
Post # 6
All of my guests except for 2, are coming from out of state. I set up a room block so that I could get a cheaper rate for my guests, but I don’t mind at all if they choose to stay somewhere else. There are several other hotels in the area that are more expensive and if they want to stay there-more power to em!
I have no idea why they would get upset? Especially since you arent in the wedding.
Post # 7
I think he wants to spend time with him? Dunno – it’s not like we’d be far away or anything and since I’m not close to his brother AT ALL, it would be nice for me to have something to enjoy too.
I mean, I didn’t care where people stayed, even my wedding party, but maybe I was too laid back.
Post # 8
I’m guessing he doesn’t understand the concept that this is your vacation, and not all about his wedding. I hope he doesn’t expect you guys to devote every waking moment to wedding-related events.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
We have a room block set up, and if we meet the numbers, our parents get a nice upgrade. If we don’t, we still get our upgrade and some other goodies. Some hotel blocks are set up that if you don’t meet the minimum (say 10 rooms), you’re responsible paying for those rooms! (One BIG reason we didn’t pick a certain hotel.)
So that could possibly be his issue, but that’s not your problem!
Post # 10
Stay where you want to stay. If he thinks he can insist that you stay at a certain hotel, he gets to foot the bill.
Post # 11
I’d say this is none of their business and I would stay where you want. Maybe just reassure him that you will be around and definitely spend time with them but other than that, unless they are paying they don’t get to choose
Post # 12
i agree…unless he is paying for it, he can’t dictate where you stay. Unless 99% of the family is staying in one place then it makes sense. Still, it’s not mandatory IMO.
Post # 13
- Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL
Most of my guests are coming in from out of town, and while I will be providing some accomadation information, they won’t be obligated to stay there. People are on a tight budget as it is, so if they can find a cheaper place to stay, more power to them.
Post # 14
Your brother is out of line. As long as you’re on time for the wedding and any wedding-related activities you’ve committed to, where you stay is your choice and your business. Same goes for those in the wedding party.
Post # 15
@starrynight: I would bet he probably worked out a deal where his room is free, deeply discounted or upgraded based on how many rooms are booked at the hotel he’s staying at.
Stay wherever you want!! Especially since you’re not in the wedding party!