(Closed) Did any Catholic Bee's pick a date before consulting the church?

posted 4 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
12003 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missselenec:  I haven’t dealt with that – why can’t you book the date?  That seems strange to me!

Post # 4
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@missselenec:  Seems odd to me as well. Why can’t they tell you if your date is available?

Post # 5
3766 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@missselenec:  is your date correct? they might not know the schedule of Christmas related events yet.

Post # 6
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missselenec:  Yes, and unfortunately we had to change our date because someone had already booked our date. Luckily, we were still pretty far off (about a year and a half), so we were able to change the date with our photographer and reception venue. 

We were able to lock down a date when we met with our priest. Before that meeting, we were told the church would marry us, but couldn’t guarantee a specific date until we chatted with the priest. 

Good luck and congrats!

Post # 7
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@missselenec:  I would say that you are only interested in one date.  It shouldn’t be a problem if you are looking at several Churches – my parish is fairly large and does less than 10 weddings a year so there are lots of open dates.

I simultaneously booked the venue site and made sure the date was open at my Church, but I couldn’t officially book anything until I sat down with my Priest.

Post # 8
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I made sure to call my church first before I booked my date with my reception venue.  It was a headache and almost lead to tears because the priest at the church I wanted to get married at is notorious for not getting back to people in a timely manor.  It took two weeks to get a hold of him.  I was calling reception venues at the same time to make sure that they had room, and had a short list of reception venues to call.  I literally called the reception venue the moment the priest told me yes, we could get married on my date. 

Catholic churches can be picky about if they will marry you not being a member.  I would really be prepared on this.  You may have trouble in this area.

What day where you planning on getting married?  Does it cross a holy day of Obligation?  There are a few in December.

Post # 9
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I had to hold off on booking venues/vendors until I had my date squared away with the church I had choosen.   

Otherwise you run into problems like the one you are having….

Post # 10
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@missselenec:  Why can’t they guarantee the date, b/c you’re not a parishoner?

We had somewhat of a similar situation but thankfully got it resolved quickly.  We booked our venue and then I started “church shopping” knowing full well they church process needed to be started a year in advance.  I contacted 3 parishes in hopes to get something closer to our venue which is an hour from our home.  We didn’t belong to any church in particularly since we had moved twice and are renting right now.

3 churches shot me down b/c I wasn’t a parishoner, even though I said I would do whatever I needed to become one.  They weren’t having it.  I was at the point where I was looking at Presbyterian and Protestant churches which, by the way, are much more welcoming and did not ostricize me in the least!!

What we ended up doing is contacting the church in our town and they were incredibly accomodating and we started our process with them.  Granted, there is now an hour commute to the venue, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it! 


Post # 11
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@missselenec:  We decided on a date before picking the church we wanted. After seeing our church and deciding that it was the one for us we met with them and they asked us if we had any dates in mind. We told them only one – so he got out the book to see if it was available.  It was and we had to pick a time. We also met with the church early last year. Maybe they do this depending on how far in advanced you try and book it?

Post # 12
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Nope! I wanted the church before anything else, they were first and everything else after that. Even when we changed our date for 2 weeks sooner! 

Post # 13
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@missselenec:  We did want 18th April, but that falls on Good Friday so that would have meant no church wedding (which is important to us, and we didn’t want to wait another year).

So we ended up choosing the 5th. The church was available, so we basically got lucky.

Post # 14
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

My SIL did this.  She booked the date for the reception, with out telling my brother.  It kind of blew up in her face.  Even tho the church is where they both have their sacrements and we grew up with the priest that would be handling everything, they didnt get the date she wanted.  She wanted to skip the church …. and they wound up moving the date to fit the churchs availability.  She lost some of the deposit and wished she had picked the church first, they had to wait another 4 months to get married.  

Post # 15
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Nope cause its all up to them – we wanted a winter wedding and we got married in May.  Too many hoops ot jump through, though you might get lucky if the date is open.  Not a bad idea to do the Pre-Cana course before you meet with the priest to get a head start on things.

Post # 16
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We first booked the church, and then decided on everything else according to that…

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