(Closed) Did any of you bees ever…(long winded)

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How did you hint about the ring?
    I didn't and I wouldn't have it any other way! : (15 votes)
    13 %
    I didn't, and I wished I did, I wasn't a fan of my ring! : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I told him what I wanted. : (34 votes)
    28 %
    I left him notes : (5 votes)
    4 %
    I did something elaborate, similar to yours : (2 votes)
    2 %
    We shopped together!!!! : (53 votes)
    44 %
    Other(please specify!) : (9 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Honestly, my Fiance took the initiative to learn about diamonds himself. I picked out my setting but he picked out the stone. He had NO idea about diamonds before but after he educated himself & shopped around a lot, he acquired quite the eye for diamonds. He actually found my diamond at the same place he bought my setting. It was uncertified but once he saw the price tag he asked to look at it closer. After looking at it under a microscope & comparing it with some other diamonds in the store, he realized he was getting a killer deal and took it. I got a 1.7 ct round stone for pretty much 1/2 price. Per Fiance request, the store got the stone certified (for insurance purposes) and it actually came back better than he expected!

    In my opinion, if he is serious about buying you a quality ring he will take the initiative to learn what he needs to know to prepare himself.

    I am all about you telling him what kind of setting you like or picking it out yourself. Even though I knew what my setting was, I was blown away when we got engaged because the diamond he picked is gorgeous. 

    Oh, and I didn’t know he was doing ANY of this. He kept all his research a secret from me. I too thought he was a bit clueless. I was very impressed when he told me how much work he put into finding the perfect diamond.

    Post # 4
    3204 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would approach it not like you are trying to pressure him to pick something specific, but like it is a big financial decision that you want him to make in an educated manner because it affects both of you. I would impress upon him how important it is to you that he makes a smart choice by doing his homework, so point him in the direction of places that he can do research before going into a store and being hosed with misinformation by sales associates (like bluenile). Let him do it at his leisure and trust him to take you and your suggestions seriously because it matters to you. If you are a quality over quantity girl, tell him that. If he seems open to suggestions maybe tell him the ranges you were thinking quality/size wise and let him reseach how much that should cost him…

    But you know him best and know how he will respond to any suggestions beyond research. My Darling Husband let me pick my own out, so it was much different for me because he KNEW he didn’t know anything and wanted my input, but your SO may be different.

    Post # 5
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Fiance designed my ring with a friend who is a goldsmith, so I gave guidelines of what I wanted.  Round solitaire diamond, about .75 k, white gold/platinum, vintage look.  I also sent some inspiration pictures.  

    Together, they nailed my perfect ring!

    He also took the initiative to learn about diamonds himself.

    Post # 6
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I said I wanted it to be non-conflict, canadian diamond. that’s all I said I cared about in terms of style… I said nothing.

    Post # 7
    7901 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    He said something a few times along the lines of I wish I could afford a ring so we could get married. And I said back a few times, well, my mom has a ring for the first of us to ask for it. Eventually, he asked for it. I never brought it up myself.

    Post # 8
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I think it’s fine to show him how to educate himself, but I wouldn’t go overboard with it.

    As long as he familiarizes himself with the specs, I don’t think he’ll get ‘hosed.’ And generally when you’re looking at stones side-by-side, you can see the difference in quality (or not) and he’ll want to pick the nicer-looking stone.

    I wouldn’t go overboard with a checklist of requirements. I don’t know about your SO, but I think if I tried to micromanage my Fiance (particularly regarding the ring choice) he’d have felt a bit hurt and suffocated. He knew basically what I was interested in and I trusted him to pick it out- and he did a wonderful job.

    So let him do his thing. Otherwise you might as well just go with him and pick it out yourself.

    Post # 10
    2652 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

    @Helloemi:  I didn’t tell him anything specific except that I don’t like huge diamonds and I prefer white gold to yellow. Those were answers to questions he asked me though and he could have been asking for any sort of jewellery purchase. He surprised me with the ring and it’s totally different from anything I ever imagined having and so much better! No big diamonds though and it’s white gold :). He’s perfect.

    Post # 11
    1511 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Helloemi:  How would he feel about shopping together for the ring?  He wouldn’t have to buy it that day if he really wanted it to be a surprise, but it might be helpful for both of you to see some rings in person (and try some on).

    My fiance and I went shopping together.  He wanted to make sure he got a ring I loved, and I couldn’t be happier with what I got.  It’s perfect for me!  Even though it wasn’t a surprise, the proposal was … All of the excitement doesn’t have to vanish just because you choose a ring together.

    Post # 12
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I asked, do you want me to send you the specs that tend to be the best value and he saod yes. I wrote a 7 sentence email explaining my prefered spec and why and he followed to a T and appreciated me savong him the time. I also told him to go to blue nile first, then you can compare to them.

    Post # 13
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    @Helloemi:  I am straight up, brutally honest with him! HAHA! We have a very honest relationship though (ie we talk about everything) I’ve basically sent him a couple of emails (I made a wishlist on moissy.com) and sent it to him. (If I gave hime a note or a piece of paper, he’d lose it) He wouldn’t have a CLUE about colour/clarity etc so I did all the hard work for him. I picked 6 different rings on there that I LOVE, so now all he has to do is is pick one and ‘add to cart’. I hope I don’t sound pushy haha I just know that his tastes are COMPLETELY different to mine… If he had the choice, he’s get me an emerald set in yellow gold… Where as I’m wayyyyy more into moissy/diamonds in white gold. This way, we both win! Laughing

    EDIT: Mr Q thinks it’s great, he stresses out making decisions lol

    Post # 14
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Kat:  Thank you!  He did a great job 🙂

    Post # 15
    1839 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i think your idea is too elaborate. why not just have a conversation about it

    Post # 16
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I showed my fiance pictures of rings that I absolutely DIDN’t like AT ALL…I wanted him to be able to pick it out all on his own but also know what I don’t like.  It worked out great and I love my ring! I couldn’t not imagine anything better. 

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