Did any of you not find out the gender until the baby was born?

posted 6 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I didn’t know with either of mine and i LOVED  it! To me it’s like knowing what you’re getting for Christmas. Nice and all but there it takes something away. 

Not knowing was wonderful. I spent so many hours talking to baby wondering what they would be. I had all gender neutral newborn stuff and no preconceived ideas based on sex. 

Plus i really wanted a boy both times. I knew that if I found out I was having a girl at 20 weeks I wouldn’t be bonded enough with baby to deal with the disappointment. However, at birth my love for baby would take over and I wouldn’t care. Baby 1 was a boy, and baby 2 a girl. When she was born I loved her so much and I couldn’t have cared less that she wasn’t the boy I’d wanted 

Post # 3
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

yougatobekittenme :  I did not ask for the gender…I was one of those who thought she “knew” she was having a girl. I felt like God would give me a girl…not overly religious, just my thought. So, i was not too concerned with boy names since I “knew” I was having a girl. Well, my babe was a boy. A nurse said, “I see boy parts…” I then cried (happy tears) and asked for a new name from his dad. It was a very cool moment. 

Post # 4
Member
9214 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I noticed there seem to always be a ton of “team green” people on here — a much higher % than I’d expect since I don’t know anyone personally who was.

Do whatever you want! I honestly don’t get why people poo poo either decision. Team Green people tend to say things like “if you know, it’s less of a magical moment when they’re born” when I’m sure no one gives birth to their baby and thinks “oh man, this is so zzzz. If only I hadn’t known their sex, that would’ve made this moment soooo much more special!” And then people who know tend to say things like “I felt sooo much more bonded to him/her knowing the whole time” when I can completely see 100% bonding with baby without knowing his/her sex yet. To each their own, there’s no “wrong” choice.

Post # 5
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee

We did not know with our twins.  I think of it as almost the same.  Either you find out at the ultrasound, in the doctors office, or whereever before.  Or you find out at the birth.  It’s the same surprise, just at a different time

Post # 6
Member
6447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

^ I have to agree that there is no “right” way. You do what feels right for you and your family.

I didn’t find out with my first, but all the way through, both Dh and I “knew” he was a boy. He is. With the second, Dh didn’t want to find out, but I did. I asked when Dh stepped out to use the restroom during an ultrasound, and to this day, Dh still doesn’t know that I knew (although, again, it just confirmed what I already knew). I don’t think either birth was more or less “magical”. Knowing didn’t make any difference in how I felt.

Post # 8
Member
6607 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

yougatobekittenme :  we were pretty certain we were having a boy. His dad’s record is 6 for 6 so clearly the ys are better swimmers in that family, lol. We did get a boy, so our guess was correct. It really bothered other people more than us. “But how can I make you an afghan if I don’t know??” Yeah… I hate pink so if it was a girl, I’d have lied to get a decent color anyway. Somehow people made due with whites and tans. 

This time around I’m more curious. We’ve already got big stuff so I don’t need to worry about getting furniture or toys I hate. And I’m more emotional- not in my daily life, but thinking about certain movie endings or listening to really good music. It’s weird and I wonder if it’s a girl this time, screwing with my hormones. It would make life easier as far as naming, we already have a girl name and choosing for our son was tough! But otherwise she’ll just be running around in hand me down ‘boy’ clothes. Maybe get a bow. Anyway husband doesn’t want to know again and I’m a bit torn. We’ll see!

Post # 9
Member
6447 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

yougatobekittenme :  It drove me up a wall when I was pregnant with our third and people would say, “Trying for that girl, huh?” because we had two boys. NO, I most emphatically was NOT trying for a girl. Dh and I had planned on three children before we were ever married. We intended to have three and only three, whether that was three girls, three boys or any variation. I didn’t value one sex over the other.

Post # 11
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I think there’s some added fun to not knowing…not just the parents to be, but the whole family. My cousin and his wife (we’re very close) didn’t find out, and it was SO FUN to get the double announcement of “it’s a girl! Her name is X!” When people tell you at 20 weeks that they’re having a boy and naming it Jack, it does take away some of the anticipation/excitement. 

That being said, I found out at my well-woman check this year that when Fiance and I do have kids, I have enough risk factors to qualify for medically-covered NIPT at 10 weeks. I know myself well enough to know that I’d never have the willpower to say no to finding out so early, so we’ll have to settle for just keeping the name secret. 

Post # 12
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

We decided not to find out the sex for our first, and I really enjoyed the experience. It did seem to irk people that they couldn’t know, mostly because they wanted to buy gendered items, wanted to give their opinions on names or whether or not to circumcise a boy or whatever other things were important to them. They got over it pretty quick though.

We are now expecting number 2, and are considering finding out at our anatomy scan. Although, more because I promised Darling Husband we could find out for this one if we stayed team green for the first one (lol). I kind of want to not find out again, but we have a few more weeks before we have to decide.

Post # 13
Member
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I didn’t know the gender of either, and I didn’t care. Everyone should feel free to do what works best for them without criticism or lack of understanding from anyone else.

Post # 14
Member
6371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

We were Team Green, and it was super fun! I enjoyed it. I loved announcing that we had a girl once she was born. I got a kick out of everyone’s hunches throughout my pregnancy, and I loved preparing everything gender neutral.

Most of all, most people, including myself, were preparing for a boy (I have a stepson so I could only envision myself with a boy), so we were shocked when we had a girl! It was even more funny when I had a girl 11 days early on April Fool’s Day and no one believed me 😂

We’re going to start TTC in September, so reading this thread just prompted me to ask my husband if we can be Team Green again. He’s onboard! Woo!

Post # 15
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I had every intention of being team green and then it all went to hell lol. I wanted a girl SO BADLY. I really felt like the baby was a girl and everyone around me was telling me it was a boy. Like every co-worker, family, friends, husband all said boy and I just knew she was a girl and then I needed to know because it was driving me bonkers. She’s a girl 😌

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