(Closed) Did any of you not live together before getting married?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Hostess
16191 posts
Honey Beekeeper

My fiance and I have been together for six years almost and we won’t be living together till we get home from the honeymoon in July. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was in the same boat. I saw so many friends live with their boyfriends and then have no place to go during the breakup so I decided that I never wanted to live with a guy before we were engaged. My thought was that if we could afford to live together he could afford a ring and I never wanted someone to try me out. Once we got engaged we realized we wanted to buy a house so we just ended up staying put to save and then bought a house a couple months before our wedding. I have nothing against people who do live together, but for me I am happy with the decision I made.

I don’t think we learned anything new about each other it has just been learning to deal with all of the quirks that we already knew each other had. I found it to be a very positive experience for us and we have really come together to be a team.

Post # 5
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We’ve been together three years and won’t be living together until maybe another three years after we get married.  It’s because I am still in grad school and he lives where he works, almost two hours away from me.  We are totally fine with this arrangement and give people the crazy look when they suggest we get a place halfway and commute to our destinations.  No thank you!

We see each other on the weekends too, and I feel we already know each other pretty well.  I know how messy he can be, he knows how I can just give him that look and he’ll pick up his clothes, and we’ve already established our roles as a team in the kitchen.  We know each other’s habits.

@yassim:  Have you discussed your concerns with your FI?

Post # 6
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s a personal decision whether or not to live with someone before marriage. I would not marry someone without living with them first. It’s so cliche, but really there are things that you don’t learn about your partner until you live with them. You can’t really know their habits, how they’ll react to certain situations, etc. until you move in with them. If you’re willing to go into marriage realizing that you don’t know these things, go for it, just don’t fool yourself into thinking you know everything about your partner either way. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not going to live with my Fiance until we get back from our honeymoon either! We’ve been together for just over 3.5 years but I think that there will be a lot of adjusting, but it will be so exciting!

Post # 8
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t live with my husband until we got back from our honeymoon either! We firmly believe that if we are the right people for each other, there is nothing we could learn about each other by living together that would be a deal breaker. The whole live together before you are married trend is relatively new, and there were plenty of successful marriages before people lived together to test it out first. We have been married four weeks, and it is exciting to get used to each other in a whole new way! 

Post # 9
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We did not live together before we got married and we were in our mid-thirties. It was an adjustment getting used to living with someone after having lived alone for so many years.

Post # 10
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

We didn’t live together before getting married.. Infact we didn’t even get the keys to our apt till 2 days before the wedding. My mom gifted us with getting a “crew” of friends together and moving us while we were on our honeymoon. =)

Post # 11
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We were together for more than six years before we got married and we did not live together until the night of the wedding. I have to say that we are both extremely happy that we made that decision. We actually feel like a family that we are. The adjustment for us has been very smooth. We knew each other so well that moving in together was very natural. I love that I come home to my husband, not a boyfriend or fiance. To those who say that you don’t know the person well enough until you get married – I think that’s absolutely untrue. How well you know them will depend on what your relationship is like before marriage and it doesn’t have anything to do with living together. I have been married for over a month now and haven’t yet found out anything new about my husband’s habits or reactions to things. He says the same about me. I knew about all those little things as well as the big differences between us before we moved in together and I made every effort to make sure that I can deal with them before I we even started talking about marriage. I know that everyone’s situation is different, but in our case it worked out perfectly. It was well worth the wait. 

Post # 12
Member
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

We don’t live together, I just moved into the renal house we will be sharing after the wedidng. Glad that it isnt just us! He does have copies of my keys though, since I tend to lose things….

Post # 13
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I moved in with my Darling Husband a month before the wedding bc I didn’t want to have to deal with moving after the wedding. 🙂  It was perfect for us.

Post # 14
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What is special abaout marriage if you do everything that married people do BEFORE you get married? So Fiance and I have opted not to live together till we’re married to leave SOMETHING undone until marriage…to us it will make us feel more married if we do not live together before.

Post # 15
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

FH and I are long distance and have been our entire relationship. I will be moving into our apartment about 3 weeks before the wedding so we technically will be living together then. We however will be in separate bedrooms because we are also waiting until we get married to do the dirty. (I know it’s not actually dirty, I’m just a dork and like calling it that) I’m all for waiting until marriage before living together however I think that that is an individual decision. What works for one couple doesn’t necessarily work for every couple. I am excited for when we actually get to see each other on a daily basis and learn about each other as husband and wife.

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

we didnt live together until we married, i went from my parents house to my husbands, neither of us wanted to live together until we were married

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