@KTGoots: You and I have a lot in common! After getting engaged in summer 2011, we had hoped for a wedding date of 10.07.2012. But after doing some research, we quickly learned that this just wasn’t going to happen purely due to finances. Bottom line: couldn’t afford to do a wedding (even the small, budget-conscious one we we’re thinking of) and knew that a year wouldn’t be enough time to save. So we unofficially pushed it back to October 2013. However, now we aren’t even sure if we’d be able to make that date happen — so our engagement is looking to be long and open-ended, which is super effing depressing.
I contemplate eloping all the time. I swoon over the elopement stories on http://www.intimateweddings.com, and fanticize about how nice it would be to focus on just each other with no destractions that day. Besides the money-saving factor and making the day exclusively about us… another huge thing that attracts me to eloping is to avoid the stress of juggling family schenanigans (my mom and dad are divorced and mom is remarried; and I absolutely can’t stand my FMIL!) — not having to worry about any of those elements on my wedding day would be SO NICE!!!
The only thing that is stopping me is my mother and father’s dying wish to be there for me on that day. I do have a super-awesome relationship with each my mom and my dad, and I have do have some strong reservations on them missing out.
So I’m fence-sitting right now. This is my brain-cooking thought cycle:
1. Decide that I can’t miss having my mom and dad there, and therefore tell myself to commit to the original plan of the intimate 25-person wedding of closest friends and family.
2. Start planning such wedding.
3. Quickly get frustrated when attempting to tackle all the elements of planning a party for this group of people. Everything from trying to find a venue; deciding which wedding elements to include vs. exclude given that it’s so small; trying to make such wedding nonconvention (I hate cookie-cutter weddings!); and thinking about everything that can go wrong with Future Mother-In-Law and her antics, and the bad blood between my mom and dad; and other decision making that there’s no right answer to… all while watching the price tag get larger and larger.
4. Hate the everything about the idea of having a wedding, and say “Eff this, we’re eloping!!!!”
5. Start blissfully planning elopement, and love everything about it.
6. Wonder and agonize over the likely regret of not having mom and dad there.
7. Return to Step 1. Repeat at least twice per week; go insane.
Good luck! Let us know what happens!!!!