(Closed) Did any other bees live apart for a little while after they were married?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 4
Member
10573 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I did it.  I saw Darling Husband almost every weekend and sometimes during the week as well, as he wasn’t in one location for his job.

I missed him, but there wasn’t any major issues.  We use a credit card for most purchases, and if I had a question about something on it I would just call and ask.  Paying rent in two places sucked, but he was able to get a room in a fully furnished house for a good price.

Post # 5
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

No advice on living apart while married, but I’m so excited for you!!!

Post # 6
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Darling Husband and I didn’t move in together for two months after the wedding. He lived in a different state and I need to get my job situation figured out before I moved to be with him. I had to quit my job and move without a new job lined up. Luckily I was able to find a job a only a month after I moved.

It was hard, but we knew there was an end in sight. We talked on Skype a lot and saw each other every other weekend.

Post # 8
Member
11352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yes, my Darling Husband and I did.  We lived in separate states — about three hours from each other — for our entire dating relationship/engagement.  After we returned from our  honeymoon, I had to continue living and working in/from my state for part of each week so that I could keep my job and continue to pay the mortgage on my house until it finally sold almost a year later.

Although my employer permitted me to telework two days each week, allowing me to spend long weekends with Darling Husband, I still had the exhausting chore of constantly packing and unpacking and having to make that long trip two nights a week after having worked a full day.

My situation also was extremely complicated by the fact that my Darling Husband has children who were young tweens/teens at the time and required a great deal of his time, especially on the weekends, and also because my Darling Husband is a pastor and spends most of his weekends working.

After a relationship that was entirely long distance from the beginning, what ideally should have been a time of newlywed bliss and togetherness for my Darling Husband and me became an incredibly stressful, extremely difficult, very frustrating, often upsetting, and completely exhausting first year of marriage. 

Post # 9
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - The Skinner Barn

@Sunnyday278:  Not married yet, but I’ll be doing this. My fiance is in the Army and currently stationed in Alaska while I live in Pennsylvania. We’re getting married in September (a week after you) and then he will go back to his current post until he gets re-stationed in January. By then, my benefits should kick in and we’ll get joint housing so that I can meet him at his new post. Until that happens, though, I’ll be living with my parents in New York. We’ve done long distance before but it’s never fun. As another poster said, as long as there is an end in sight, I’m sure it will be fine.

Post # 10
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

Thanks for posting this!!!! Darling Husband and I may be doing this for um two years lol. I’m sure everything will be fine!!!

Post # 11
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My hubby and I did that this past year.  He moved to CO while I stayed in IL to finish teaching.  It wasn’t as hard as it was when we did it while in college which is weird b/c then we were 3-4 hours apart rather than 18.  I think being married has a security feeling to it eventhough I know neither one of us would do anything anyhow to jeopardize the relationship.  In college we had more free time to focus on not being there.  As adults we had full time jobs that took our minds off things during the days and skyped at night.  We also picked up hobbies that kept us busy on the weekends when things would be particularly hard since there was so much free time.  He flew in to visit which was nice.  We would also send little gifts to each other (ie. a movie he likes or some of his fav foods).  We would do this thing were we would see movies at the same time.  The movies started at the same time (factoring in diff. time zones), then afterwards we’d call each other.  Just knowing that you were doing the same thing as the other was comforting.  It’s hard, but do able.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Thanks for posting. I might be doing this in the next year – I want to move back to the states, but I really want to have a job lined up and it will be much easier to find something if I’m on site to interview. Meanwhile Darling Husband visa will take about six months. So we might be apart for a couple of months while I look for a job and for his visa to come through. It’s scary to think about, but I think in the long term our lives will be better. 

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